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Day 21 here, cant fight the urges any more, I've been poisoning myself and now I'm going to relapse

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by BlondedItaly, Jan 1, 2018.

  1. BlondedItaly

    BlondedItaly New Fapstronaut

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    Like the title suggests, I'm currently 21 days MO free, but not so much on the P side. After two weeks I couldn't stop peeking. I did it all the time. So much so that I even opened up my old Instagram account where I both follow and post pictures of beautiful women.

    I've never been the type to MO to actual porn. I've instead always masturbated to "normal" photos, like those on social media. Now, however, I can't stop looking. I've peeked all week which I do consider a relapse.

    I just don't know if I can go on and fix it anymore. Deleting the material is always just postponing the problem, because I'll always loop right back.

    21 days has been my longest so far, and I've only been on NoFap for 2 months now. I just really think I'm delaying the inevitable
     
  2. Player 1

    Player 1 Fapstronaut

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    Almost same problem as you. Everytime I'm around day 20 now urges become monstrous... I open Instagram against my will and then I'm fucked a couple minutes later... it's been like this for 4 years... And now since a couple months I struggle against opening instagram because that, 99% of the time, leads to a relapse. I can tell you... Insanity will not stop unless you geniunely decide to fight against it.
    You have to fight against opening material.

    Also when you delete material, but what's the point you always try hard for hours to get it back after relapse, seriously this addiction is fucking poison and time wasting...
    Don't fall for this bullshit, it destroys you more and more and resisting becomes harder... I wish you success
     
    BlondedItaly likes this.
  3. BlondedItaly

    BlondedItaly New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply, I can definitely relate to what you've said. It's insane, really. I've began doubting my genuine decision to do nofap. I started because I wanted to get a girl, because suddenly everyone around me had one, and I was all alone.

    Nofap gave me energy, but I still do too much bad stuff that prevents nofap from reaching my true potential. I have different problems, like smoking weed daily, that feel like an anchor dragging me down. I'm not ready to give that up yet thanks to my depression.

    I almost want to let go of nofap for now, work on the bigger problems in life, and pick up nofap in a few months when the summer has arrived. I almost want to justify it...
     
  4. 21 days is a big deal. Congratulations on all your work no matter what your decision.
     
  5. How is your progress going on?
     

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