Day 27: no urges - no sexdrive

D

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Hey there!
Today is my day 27 in reboot (PM) and I should be happy. There's no urge, pressure, no overthinking or any trouble to avoid triggering stuff...

Thing is: I feel nothing triggering at all. This is upsetting after a real rebirth in the sex life with my wife. Therefore, the question to more experienced rebooters: what comes next?
Namaste
 
What comes next is more recovery. It sounds like you have come to the flatline phase. For me this was marked by severe apathy. I believe this is where your brain starts balancing itself out from all of the over stimulation you done to it. It is a low point in recovery, but it will bounce back to a more normal level in a few weeks. Whatever you do, don’t try to force it or fix it or test to see if everything still works. I can tell you it does. So ride it out, and soon enough you get your thoughts and feelings back, and able to make better decisions as the fog lifts.
 
thanks, NF4L. I'm looking forward to that. In one week I've hidden my personal best of 34 days without PM. This time - with the help of the forum - it feels much easier for me...
 
NF4L said:
What comes next is more recovery. It sounds like you have come to the flatline phase. For me this was marked by severe apathy. I believe this is where your brain starts balancing itself out from all of the over stimulation you done to it. It is a low point in recovery, but it will bounce back to a more normal level in a few weeks. Whatever you do, don’t try to force it or fix it or test to see if everything still works. I can tell you it does. So ride it out, and soon enough you get your thoughts and feelings back, and able to make better decisions as the fog lifts.
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Interesting. I think I have flat lined but I’m not certain. I have low to zero interest in initiating sex with my wife. She doesn’t like talking about sex at all so I don’t know if my flatlining has her concerned. I’m in this journey for me and me alone. Perhaps I am showing some hurt here and being vulnerable...but I need to live my life and my guess is although I love her, we may not be sexually compatible. This could be my no-hope flatlining alter ego talking though.
 
@Beaker it could also be the desire for novelty, and its dopamine hit, your inner addict is craving, too. You are in a tough phase, and one of the characterized withdrawal symptoms, so don’t judge or put a lot of stock in any of your decisions or thoughts. Your brain still needs plenty of time to heal. I certainly wouldn’t call it vulnerability as far as your partner is concerned, but I appreciate you sharing it and opening up about your feelings . Part of recovery is identifying your selfish self soothing tendencies and overcoming them, some could even call it addiction induced narcissism. Those behaviors are far from vulnerable or authentic. In time and sobriety it will become clearer for you. Wishing you much success in this struggle and battle towards healing!
 
NF4L said:
@Beaker it could also be the desire for novelty, and its dopamine hit, your inner addict is craving, too. You are in a tough phase, and one of the characterized withdrawal symptoms, so don’t judge or put a lot of stock in any of your decisions or thoughts. Your brain still needs plenty of time to heal. I certainly wouldn’t call it vulnerability as far as your partner is concerned, but I appreciate you sharing it and opening up about your feelings . Part of recovery is identifying your selfish self soothing tendencies and overcoming them, some could even call it addiction induced narcissism. Those behaviors are far from vulnerable or authentic. In time and sobriety it will become clearer for you. Wishing you much success in this struggle and battle towards healing!
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Thank you @NF4L for sharing your wisdom. You have exposed me to a way of seeing myself that I have never seen before. I appreciate the time you spent building and lifting me with such great insightful words!!
 
Beaker said:
Thank you @NF4L for sharing your wisdom. You have exposed me to a way of seeing myself that I have never seen before. I appreciate the time you spent building and lifting me with such great insightful words!!
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I’m glad to hear it helped. You are very welcome. Congratulations on your month long streak. Keep it up, you are worth it!
 
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