Day 272 Relapse?, or how I may have thrown away over 2/3 of a year in under 60 seconds

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Wolf 77, Apr 26, 2019.

Did I relapse?

  1. Yes

    5 vote(s)
    14.7%
  2. No

    29 vote(s)
    85.3%
  1. Wolf 77

    Wolf 77 Fapstronaut

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    Thank for the support mate.

    The only problem is that those incidences can feel like at the very least minor relapses when you haven't had one in so long. You worry about it too much and end up getting some of the Placebo effects of a relapse, like extreme shame and guilt. Even though you didn't relapse, there's still a cynical part of your brain that tells you that you're just lying to yourself.
     
    joarev85 likes this.
  2. You didn't relapse.

    But even if you did, you aren't throwing away 2/3 the year. You have changed in amazing ways already. This process is about the change in your life, not the number on your counter.

    If it was about the number on your counter, then binging would be much more justified.
     
    ReachForTheSkies and warhead808 like this.
  3. Wolf 77

    Wolf 77 Fapstronaut

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    I completely agree with you. The counter is just a shameless ego boost to honest, but not one that I think we are undeserving of.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. countitjoy5

    countitjoy5 Fapstronaut

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    Start over and renew your resolve to Nofap.
     
  5. I guess you are setting yourself up for failure here. Urges are part of what it means to be human. I guess the goal shouldn't be to get rid of urges because as long as you are human you'll encounter urges in various forms and intensities. I guess it's more about how to deal with urges e.g. urge surfing. Also, on a different note. You approach seems very driven by achievements and performance where pleasure becomes almost a vice. Surely don't wanna impose any philosophy on anyone but I was just wondering, what would you say make a life-worth living?
     
  6. So u are here 1 year and u dont know what is relapse, slip etc. And u think 1 ejaculation sets u back to day 1 after 280 days?

    What u want? Tap on back and "you did not relapse" assurance? Or are u really that lost?
     
  7. Wolf 77

    Wolf 77 Fapstronaut

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    I was planning on doing that if most people agreed that I had relapsed, but so far 86.4% of this community think that I'm fine and I should just move on.

    I think at this point the best option for me is keep my day counter as it is, not consider this a relapse... but keep this as a stark reminder of how easy a potential relapse could be, even for someone so far into their journey.
     
  8. Wolf 77

    Wolf 77 Fapstronaut

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    I don't try to suppress my urges, I don't entertain them by acting them out, but I think repression is not only pointless, but extremely unhealthy. I allow my urges as much room to breath as they want, I only stop when those urges begin to affect my outward life, rather than just remaining in world of fantasy.

    I can't answer your question properly because I think it's extremely subjective and depends on the experience and desires of the individual. And to be honest I don't know how I would answer this question personally either.

    I wouldn't say that there's any specific thing that makes my life worth living, I'm just content with life in general. The reason that I decided to do nofap is because I'm interested in self improvement, and want to see how far I push myself.
     
  9. Wolf 77

    Wolf 77 Fapstronaut

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    First, relapses are subjective. You don't need to spend much time in the community to know that people have different standards for what constitutes a relapse. E.G. Some people would consider just looking at porn to be a relapse, while others wouldn't as long as you didn't masturbate. Some consider edging to a relapse, others don't, etc...

    Second of all, I'm not looking for congratulations. I just wanted an unbiased perspective. If people voted yes I would have accepted that, rest my counter, and then aimed for bigger goals next time. But they didn't, they voted no, so I plan to move on while taking this as a valuable lesson to be more vigilant in the future.
     
  10. Its called a slip. By a definition.
    Watching porn is relapse because (NO PORN masturbation orgasm)

    Be well
     
  11. Wolf 77

    Wolf 77 Fapstronaut

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    I'm fully aware that watching porn is a relapse. I was just pointing out that some people have their own definitions (for better or worse) of what constitutes a relapse.

    Thank you, be well!
     
  12. Well there are difinitions on this site. Relapse is a continuous behavior. If u make one mistake, its a slip.
     
  13. Wolf 77

    Wolf 77 Fapstronaut

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    I don't know about that... I'd consider masturbation, as in stroking your dick to be a definite relapse, same goes for watching a porn film or browsing several pictures in one night.
     
  14. Dude type "relapse definition" to google.

    The word has a meaning u know?

    Its like saying .. I consider green to be red.

    Ok I guess.

    Also one orgasm does not erase 2xx days progress. Get real please.
     
  15. Wolf 77

    Wolf 77 Fapstronaut

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    Again I'm saying that I agree with you. All I said was that some have different definitions of what is and isn't a relapse.
     
  16. I wish you smooth ride, you are doing great, do not put so much pressure on yourself. Who cares what is what. You did 2xx days and you go on.
     
  17. Wolf 77

    Wolf 77 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! Just out of curiosity how many days in are you?
     
  18. Not much, 5th week, before that I had one MO without P, before that month clean again. Before that 1 normal sex. And before that I guess 2 months clean. And before that 1 year soft mode with gf. And before that I had some 60 days streak. And many 30 days streaks.

    Basically Im 2 years in. But not hardmode all the time. And Ive learned its not about the one minute you slip, but its about the 100s of days you dont.

    Keep pushing in the right direction, always, than one step back means nothing, If you walked 100s of days towards the goal.
     
    ReachForTheSkies and Wolf 77 like this.
  19. Wolf 77

    Wolf 77 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot mate!

    Looks like you're doing a good job for yourself aswell.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  20. Thank you, I try and keep pushing.
    The PMO destroyed my whole sexual life, since start, till where I am now.

    I had PIED already at my 1st sex, I guess I was 16. Now Im 36. And the 1 year relationship I mentioned was my 1st long term girl and 1st semi-normal sex. I found her cca 6 months after I started no PMO...

    I used to be a lost case... like those ppl who write posts like "35 and virgin"

    Porn sucks :/

    Since this new year, I was on more dates than I was during my whole previous life.

    But I dont mourn the loss of my sexual life in the past. Im glad I found out what was wrong with me, and that I put up a epic fight to change it all.

    Be well

    Ps: all that time I believed masturbation is healthy :(
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 3, 2019

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