Day 3,fighting with grumpiness and aggression all the time

So...Im in abstinence for 3 days (again,cause I failed many times before),and I have never experienced so much letargy and aggression I feel at the moment. Monday I fought with my grandma,and in my anger I throw a knife after her while she left. Im a scale modeller, today I started to build one I was so eager about. A very important piece didnt want to fit and I couldnt glue it either,and I broke it in anger,cause I lost my temper. Now Im feeling like an asshole, a completely useless piece of junk, a failure. I dont want to give up,cause Im fucking dedicated now, but I dont know how to deal with these feelings,and stupid situations which fuelling them. I also fall asleep hard.I would like to ask some advice,what you suggest,to deal with these things.

 

Grumpiness has gone, but there is letargy and Im resignated. I also experienced mood swing too, but the same feeling stayed. I dont feel my situation hopeless, I feel I can make it through.