Day 36

H

HereToChange101

Fapstronaut
I can’t believe I’m able to write down that it’s been 36 days since I’ve last PM. I’m married so I’ve been able to be blessed with a few Os over the last month. But man, it’s been insanely up and down. I was in a dark hole of P.… Cuck, sissy, sharing wife’s pics… I confessed to my wife I was struggling with an addiction to it. We almost got divorced. Ultimately, with her support, therapy with a psychologist and most importantly turning my life over to Christ, I’ve been able to keep clean. I’ve deleted everything: all nudes of my wife, my P account on Reddit, stayed off instagram for over a month (deleted my old one and started a brand new one cuz the algorithms on my old one were pushing half naked women in my feed all the time). I’ve been involved with more church-related things. Started eating right and doing some light workouts… and more. Really, a complete lifestyle transformation which I never found the motivation for, before quitting PM. This forum really helped me (I have a journal here of my 36 days on 30-39 sub). women deserve love and protection. Not our objectification and to be lusted after for our own selfish gratification. Most times when I’m in public I make sure to keep my eyes up! It sounds elementary, but the feeling of true self discipline is so rewarding whenever that moment comes and goes. I know this forum says it’s secular but I just want to tell anyone reading this: the love and faithfulness from Jesus Christ deserves all the credit here. Because of Him, I’m saved. I know His blessings for me will far outweigh the temporary “pleasure” I’d get from falling back into that pit of poison. I can say every day I get stronger. And I just encourage anyone here to stay the course, however you choose to accomplish your goal(s). The reward of transforming your mind is greater than P. For those currently on this journey, you already know down time is the hardest, so stay busy. Be of service to your loved ones (and strangers too), as much as you can and as often as you can. Even if you don’t want to put your trust in God (however you choose to define Him), there WILL be a light that shines through you once you begin to kill off the lust and consumption of P. And I mean STARVE IT. Don’t compromise. You don’t need it. You’ll want it, BUT YOU DON’T NEED IT. Looking forward to posting again at 60 days with full strength. Chin up and soldier on my brothers.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR ADDICTION, YOU ARE THE CHOICES YOU MAKE TODAY.
 
Your story is very inspiring. I feel as though I’m at that point where you describe as a dark hole.. and i just can’t seem to get out of. As much as I try to change my lifestyle I always fall back on P. It’s causing a strain on my
marriage. I feel as if I’m at my lowest point these past several weeks.This secretive lifestyle, the lies I tell my loved ones. Anyways, truly your story is inspiring I wish you all the best.
 
LightOfHope said:
Your story is very inspiring. I feel as though I’m at that point where you describe as a dark hole.. and i just can’t seem to get out of. As much as I try to change my lifestyle I always fall back on P. It’s causing a strain on my
marriage. I feel as if I’m at my lowest point these past several weeks.This secretive lifestyle, the lies I tell my loved ones. Anyways, truly your story is inspiring I wish you all the best.
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I was introduced to P at age 10 and was regularly consuming it for the last 25 years. I was drinking pretty constantly from age 17 to 25 and smoking too. BY FAR, P had a grip on my life that was the most difficult to stop. I can relate to your feeling of always defaulting back to it (even when you have a burning desire to quit). But there is hope. I can’t tell you your path to quitting P is easy, but I can tell you I have a strength that I’ve never had before and it’s all come from turning my life over to Christ. Therapy helps, having a loving wife is even better than that, but neither of those compare to the true freedom you receive by choosing to put your old life to death and allowing God into your heart. My aim is not to tell you what you’re doing wrong, but rather to share with you something that has changed me and given me hope where it had never been before. I’m here to chat (message me privately if that’s something you want). But I will pray for you my friend. A prayer of blessings and peace in your heart and life. I know you are destined for something so much greater than this feeling of hopelessness you’re experiencing. Stay strong and please reach out any time.
 
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