Day 41

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by ptolemy61, Oct 16, 2015.

  1. ptolemy61

    ptolemy61 Fapstronaut

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    day 34. This is my first try and I'm really feeling good lately. In my 34 days I have had only 1 O At day 29 given to me by my wife in the form of a BJ on our anniversary. First let me tell you it was amazing... I worried about the chaser effect relapse but I have held strong.

    Also in my 34 days I have only taken one hot shower. The cold showers are very helpful.

    I could go on and on about the changes I am experiencing but just let me tell you I wish I would have found this lifestyle years ago. It's awesome.

    Oh and I have NEVER been a precummer and the last 2 days it just won't stop. Its a little annoying but at the same time it's interesting to me that at my age my body is doing something new.
     
  2. programer

    programer Fapstronaut

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    Am sorry to say this. A BJ is just like you've Masterbated. Don't lie to yourself. Only sex with a real partner is Considered not faping. You are on day 34-29=5. You are on day 5. This is also great work. Let's Celebrate.
     
  3. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    That's why he said hardish mode man. I'd say it's fine.
     
  4. ptolemy61

    ptolemy61 Fapstronaut

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    My wife is as real as it gets. I'm not resetting. If I didn't do and she did - it's legit!
     
  5. Carmelstick76

    Carmelstick76 Fapstronaut

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    But if his wife did it. Then it isn't considered fapping isn't that correct. Unless your just abstaining from sex for a period. I still your still good on day 34.
     
  6. Anything with the wife is perfectly fine!
     
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  7. MrFapOnTour

    MrFapOnTour Fapstronaut

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    He never fapped he got sucked off by his wife big difference. Hes still on HardMode , Im completely abstaining though for other reasons.
     
  8. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    I think a bj is fine for a reboot, but it is not hardmode
     
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  9. programer

    programer Fapstronaut

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    No. it's a relapse.
     
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  10. MadMax4711

    MadMax4711 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe in your eyes, just accept the fact that he is doing fine and feels good?
    Of course it is not hard mode, but maybe he does not need it? Don't be so harsh.
     
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  11. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Above all, congratulations on your relationship and your sexual life. And it's totally up to you! You feel for yourself what is right for yourself!

    But to say it clearly, any conventional orgasm breaks the hard mode (BTW, I prefer "freedom mode")

    Going without orgasm for a long time is the basic idea of freedom mode, it is the kick, the real pleasure.

    (That's why I prefer "freedom mode" - because it is not hard --- in fact, it is joy)

    However, after around 30 days, many men seem to reach a certain point. I often read in this forum about this time period, and my own personal record is 35 days. So a breakup after 29 days is quite "normal". But if we want to reach for the stars, for our very own lodestars, it seems we must dive through this point and go on further.

    BTW, if you still want to keep up sexual relationships with your wife, then you can try Karezza, which is long-lasting sex without ejaculatory orgasm. A kind of very conscious sex, with very high awareness and control. It's a pleasure to be totally in control of yourself.
     
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  12. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Hard mode is defined by not having an orgasm, so he ended it after 29 days.

    And above all, as also @MadMax4711 said, it is up to @ptolemy61 (BTW, the philosopher of ancient greek ;) ). I am congratulating, and we should not judge or blame or anything. But still, I am just saying the facts.

    BTW, 29 days is already a very good time, something which you can look back as a very fulfilled time. During the last 2 years, I reached several period of 4-5 weeks (personal record is 35 days), and every time, it was pure pleasure! Also, 30 days seems to be an "average" time, I often read here about people reaching this time, so it seems there is something natural about this span. Of course, my own goal is to go beyond and further ;)
     
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  13. IGY

    IGY Guest

    @SnowWhite is correct that the first streak by @ptolemy61 ended at 29 days when his wife had oral sex with him. The Glossary (above) states categorically: Hard Mode: Rebooting without any sexual release (even via a partner). Thank you @SnowWhite :)
     
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  14. ptolemy61

    ptolemy61 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the support everyone. I guess I should clarify that hard mode was never my goal. My goal was to stop PMO 2x a day. And I have. I have made the conscious decision to undertake this journey while in a relationship so being truly HARD mode is difficult. Our sex has been amazing though, I hold back and just take care of her. It's pretty awesome actually. So for me it's day 36 of my journey and I have had one O given to me as a gift. That's not hard mode - I get it. I'm okay with that.
     
  15. MadMax4711

    MadMax4711 Fapstronaut

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    This sounds absolutely fantastic!
    Keep going.
     
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  16. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    Don't let people put you off. Unfortunately there are some people on here with extreme views.

    It helps having a partner especially to cross that transition phase.

    Doing hard mode pmo all whilst having a partner has consequences because you have to think about her needs too - you can't leave her deprived for at least 3 months! This can have implications on relationships. Alot of people don't understand this.


    keep it up!
     
  17. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    I'm living in a relationship since 7 years and I understand.

    Just a note - you can have sex without ejaculatory orgasm. It's pleasant for both, your partner can come as often as she wants, and you are still in hard mode.

    For me, personally, it is now very important to not allow orgasmic release for myself.
    Of course orgasms are totally great - one of nature's greatest gifts, so nothing bad about it!
    But still, an orgasm also works like a heroin flush for me, and so, in the past, it always triggered relapse periods which drew me back down into the addiction.

    For example, after a 35-day-period of hard mode, we had really great sex - extremely intense, a full total cosmic fusion, a celebration of love which went on for hours... I probably experienced the most intense orgasm of my whole life time. It was great. But yet, with it, the hard mode period was over and I went back into addictive behaviour. Took me around 2 months until I could find grip again and go into another longer hard mode period.

    EDIT and PS: "Hard mode" in fact means "freedom mode" for me. During these periods, I was feeling totally free and fully balanced; swinging! I was highly productive, was immersed in life, I learned a lot of things, I had a social life, did sports, and more. Everything was at high level. Every minute was like it was meant to be by nature. It was great.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2015
  18. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    but isnt sex without ejaculation equivalent to edging?
     
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  19. ptolemy61

    ptolemy61 Fapstronaut

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    Today's day 41 and except for my anniversary present I have had no PMO. I'm enjoying the fact that in a scenario where I have had only 1 O. That before nodal that would have been more like 80. I feel different but I cant describe it. My body feels different, or at a minimum how I feel about my body. I'm sleeping great. I'm still doing the daily cold shower which I love. And oddly, I have this love of being naked. One day I had the house to myself and spent even hours just walking around in gods glory!

    Happy Friday everyone!
     
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  20. travelling fapstronaut

    travelling fapstronaut Fapstronaut

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    The whole point of Nofap is to leave pmo behind to enjoy a healthy sex life with real women. If he's not watching porn but instead engaging in sexual activity with his wife, how is that a relapse? Besides, surely it helps rewire the brain to be aroused by real women
     
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