Day 44. I need your support .

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Koufacha, Mar 17, 2020.

  1. Koufacha

    Koufacha Fapstronaut

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    Hi !
    First of all sorry for my bad English
    I'm a 28 years good looking man . I've been addicted to PMO since my 15yo . I only had sex 2 times with a randome girl a mate on Facebook & it was not good (ED.PE) . NOW IM ON MY 44th day of nofap . I experienced some benefits (clearer brain . Low anxiety . More focusing ...)
    In really think I'm doing good but sometimes i feel very anxious I doute everything .I suddenly get sad . I was about to marry to girl I love few months ago but we brouke up because I always doute her I always think she don't love me I always think she's cheating on me even she use to sent me instant pics of everywhere she go to prouve me she's not doing something wrong until she has to breakup with me cuz she's done . I really love her & I don't wanna lose her but I doute my self I'm not sure if I will be able to be the right person for her emotionally and sexually I'm afraid of hurting her again . I feel very lost & really need your help .any one had to deal with the same situation? Do you think I'll be the good person for her if I stick to nofap ? Any advices ?
     
  2. Keys2TheCastle

    Keys2TheCastle Fapstronaut

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    Hello Koufacha,

    With your situation, I think there needs to be a straightforward conversation about building and establishing trust with this partner (or future partners should this problem not resolve or mend). I can say from experience that I ended a significant relationship that hopefully would have resulted in marriage to a very special person and that doing NoFap after the fact has its temptations or hangups.

    I think that when it comes to being a good person, it's going to take more that just abstaining from porn and masturbation to do the trick. Are you setting goals to better yourself mentally (i.e. taking up a hobby or interest, talking to a counselor or therapist)? Are you taking care of yourself in other aspects of your body (i.e. working out, eating healthy)? The biggest question to ask yourself in your NoFap journey is this: With the absence of this addiction/compulsion, what can I do to fill that void of time and energy for my own sake? I've found that keeping a journal and documenting the time I spend on practicing music, reading, working out, etc. is very helpful when it comes to understanding and reflecting on what I'm doing with myself.

    I apologize if this isn't a straightforward yes or no to the question "Will I be the good person my partner will want if I stick to NoFap?" Just like relationships, the answer isn't always simple. I think that I'm a better/good person not simply because I don't watch porn or masturbate; I think that I'm a better/good person because I've worked on myself and that work translates into confidence, will, and perseverance. Chances are if I were to reconnect with my ex, my excuse for what's different about being their partner now shouldn't just be: "Well, I stopped masturbating, so that has to be enough."

    I hope this helps somehow.
     
  3. Ossyblaz9

    Ossyblaz9 Fapstronaut

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    Work on ur emotions bro or see a psychologist but basically I will advice if u really love her let her know what u are passing through that I'm sure will kill the tensions
     
  4. ItsSeal

    ItsSeal Fapstronaut

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    If there is no trust in your relationship, from yourself or from her, I advise that you should have a deep serious conversation with each other. Why would you want to be with someone that you do not trust? Ask yourself, why do you not trust her? Is it jealousy or does she have a rollercoaster history? Is it something else? You do not have to give up on your relationship, but you can try to make it better. A simple talk can do sometimes already the trick.
     
  5. Much Ado About Nutting

    Much Ado About Nutting Fapstronaut

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    Good work. Stay away from porn and you'll have better relationships whatever you decide
     

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