Today is day 53 of no PMO. What a feat. Today is way better than yesterday. I had a visualization of me and a giant demon cigarette battling it out for control over the addiction. I won. I haven’t smoked today but I’ve increased caffeine and the urge to fap is huge. I’m on set working a television show at the moment and I feel like there’s hope that has been restored in an interesting way. My woman has yet to find out about my addiction and I believe I’m going to tell her the next time I see her. She means so much to me and she’s my inspiration for kicking the porn. It got too intense for me. I watched all of that really intense stuff. When I started getting diminishing returns, I would up the intensity of the porn. It eventually got to a point where I even started questioning my sexuality and my life. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am an addict and all of those thoughts were a direct cause of my addiction. I love the fact that I’m no longer using PMO. It’s made me seen how disgusting I was being to myself. As I sit here waiting for my scene, I take a deep breath full of gratefulness and breathe out all negativity ready for another day of nofap. yours truly, Gman
