Day 62 , wet dreams and thinking about giving up

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ControlV, Jan 2, 2018.

  1. ControlV

    ControlV Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,
    I'm on day 62 hardmode.
    I have had wet dreams on Day 42 , 50 , 55 and 62.
    Around day 30 I felt I had good stamina and was working out well and felt little better,
    then from day 40 have been having strong urges, losing motivation and felt I've lost a lot of stamina as well.
    I'm thinking what's the point in all this? Thinking about pmoing once a week and enjoy it.
    What do I do? Nothing else has changed , social anxiety is still exactly the same , focus and motivation are all exactly the same as when I used to pmo regularly.
    The main reason was ED during actual sex. But I tried it only with beloew average prostitutes. That could also be the reason.
    The point is do I really have to go to this extreme to avoid all pleasures completely?
    what's the point of even living this dull life?
    I'm thinking about experimenting with this once a week habit and again go hardmode stopping all porn if I realise I'm indulging in it more than once a week for 1-2hrs max.
    Benefits of watching porn and masturbating once a week for 1-2hrs max.
    1. I don't have sexual frustration.
    2. I don't waste time and too much energy.
    3. I feel relieved and don't feel like I have to struggle every day to stay away knowing I can enjoy once a week.

    I thought it would get better over time. But I have'nt felt any real noticeable benefits and my body is ejaculating more than once a week anyway after day 30. So why not atleast enjoy the pleasure instead of wet dream?
    Leave your thoughts.
     
    learning likes this.
  2. NF4L

    NF4L Fapstronaut

    Sounds like you are caving into the addiction and now trying to justify it. You are very close to the magic reboot moment, so what is another month compared to the last two. Do you really want to go back to the brain fog, and self soothing with your hand? What new activities are you doing now that your aren’t spending your time using PMO? If haven’t done anything new and started new hobbies or picked up ones you’ve stopped, you are destined to go back to old routine. I challenge you to break the cycle, and find a new passion, rather than worrying about if you should M again. I’m certain there are other things that define you than your P use. If there isn’t, now is the time to find one or a few. Make a new life for yourself and become the best version possible. You won’t regret it. If you start now, before you know it, you’ll have all those elusive benefits you speak of. Don’t hold yourself back.
     
  3. ControlV

    ControlV Fapstronaut

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    feel like fucking anything that has legs. Can't even watch a women's tennis match concentrating on the match and my sleep getting cut short every morning from urges , although I have'nt masturbated.
    What's the point of even all this. Productivity and exercise has taken a big toll.
    Focus has also suffered. What do I do?
    My goals is only to enjoy sex and stay hard with real women. I had ED when I tried with real women a year back. Also I think I would cum in a minute if I try anything.
     
  4. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    The porn makes you want it more than normal desire. I'd love to try once a week fap/porn sessions - except that I really very strongly doubt that it wouldn't escalate.

    However, Gary Wilson (I think) said something on YBOP about MO'ing without porn or fantasy as needed (e.g. as often as you have wet dreams). That may be more realistic after a good reboot.
     
  5. BigandBeastly

    BigandBeastly Fapstronaut

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    Sex isn't everything, it sounds like that's what your revolving your life around. Try getting a new hobby or something to take your mind off of it.
     
    sakeen likes this.
  6. ControlV

    ControlV Fapstronaut

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    Have'nt started anything new because I don't find anything else interesting. Can't even watch a video on youtube without my attention being focussed on the comments and other video suggestions.
    How can I force to find anything new if I don't really like it?
    My life is so dull and not motivated to work or workout
     
  7. rishi123

    rishi123 Fapstronaut

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    no dont give up.........wetdreams are sign you are recovering.....all the excess sexual energy you gained by nofap in last 1-2 months......few excess fluids lose by wetdreams......dont react to wetdreams......control emotions...just leave it as if nothing happened....its like you pissed...you dint lose anything......i had experienced same many times.......sometimes in recovery journey 5-6 wetdreams happen in a gap of 10days....dont bother...continue your no PMO efforts...wetdreams over time will stop...good luck
     
  8. rishi123

    rishi123 Fapstronaut

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    if you start again enjoying sexual pleasures...due to wetdreams effect.........someday you have to leave sexual pleasures.....then again wetdreams will follow you that time.....so dont let wetdreams control you...first control and understand your body and mind
     
  9. ControlV

    ControlV Fapstronaut

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    the thing I feel like I have relapsed even though I have'nt. Feels exactly the same when I used to pmo.
    Low on stamina , distracted , felling down and lost all motivation. wtf is this happening?
    I'm also thinking about sex all the time and have'nt done anything.
    Feels like I'm gonna relapse.
     
  10. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Don't you prefer "having sex 1-2 times a week" to "jerking off 1-2 times a week"?
     
  11. NF4L

    NF4L Fapstronaut

    @ControlV Forgive me, but it sounds like you aren’t in recovery, just postponing the inevitable and hoping for the best. Your lower brain that is addicted to dopamine is still trying to tell you to use. I would highly suggest reading up on your addiction and going through yourbrainonporn.com articles at least. Retrain your brain and change your life. What are you doing to combat thinking about sex all the time? What measures are you taking when those thoughts and urges happen? You are in control and you have to assert your dominance over your addiction. Correct your behaviors, stop the thoughts distract the mind and develop new and healthier habits. Put down the phone, clear your thoughts practice meditation, strengthen your will and resolve. If you think you can’t do this, stop thinking that way. You can overcome it, you can change your mind and thoughts. Take the time to recognize that this addiction is still trying to control you, and don’t let it. Don’t give it one inch. You are better than this, and deserve more from yourself.
     
  12. ControlV

    ControlV Fapstronaut

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    yeah.. ofc. But I'm single in an isolated place with no bars/clubs ,etc. What's your point?
     
  13. RememberWhyWeQuit

    RememberWhyWeQuit Fapstronaut

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    Your just trying to rationalize this behavior however, you know that porn is debilitating and will just make your life worse. Trust me I have been in similar situations and it was never worth it to resort back to it. It's all a mental effect however, what will sitting down on a screen and jacking off how will that make your life any better or give you more energy to workout. Some days you have low energy and are tired that's life you just have to keep going. As for the being single I don't know where you live but, if you have a car or access to transportation i'm pretty sure it isn't too difficult to find a decent club. Anyways, just keep going strong you know why you quit don't go back to where you were in the past.
     
    ControlV likes this.
  14. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    no masturbation till you get some. It works 100%.
     
  15. ControlV

    ControlV Fapstronaut

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    Thanks , that was really good advice. I'm gonna keep going. Sure I feel like shit right now , but if I relapse I'll feel even worse for sure. Not worth ruining my streak for few minutes of pleasure.
     
    TC10 and NF4L like this.
  16. ControlV

    ControlV Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot man..
    1. You have 100+ days , can you share if you had wet dreams and how often you had them? Even I started feeling very good at 30 day mark. But started to get wet dreams at day 44 , 52 , 55 and 62 , then I felt like I lost a lot of energy and feeling down.
    2. Maybe I should do some keygel exercise , strengthen my prostrate so that it gets absorbed into my body again. Every time I had a hot dream ( even like making out or getting to first base in my dream , I ejaculated and woke up). What are your thoughts on this? I suffered from PE when I used to pmo (whenever I tried to have sex or get a HJ in a massage parlour).
    3. At what day count did u experience superpowers or similar stuff? I know it differs from person to person but want to know a general idea.
     
  17. NF4L

    NF4L Fapstronaut

    1. I started dreaming about a month in. I haven’t had many lately in the last month. My first two were of using porn again, so I awoke startled and disappointed. I think I’ve only had one wet dream, but as part of my recovery I have continued to have connected sex with my SO.
    2. I don’t think it could hurt. I have some thoughts on this that I don’t have the time to get into at the moment. Although I can say I do suffer from PE with my partner especially when it’s been a long time since we’ve been intimate, and if I am horny. I believe this comes down to focusing on me instead of the experience and not being as connected as I should with her.
    3. Staring to get there, not fully there yet all the time, but I had a moment last week where I had a glimpse of my former self and spent the night chasing my passions and getting good results that I haven’t seen in many years. Essentially my mind didn’t settle for mediocre, and let me drive toward excellence.
     
    Jennica and ControlV like this.
  18. ControlV

    ControlV Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this man. I thought I was going to relapse when I started this thread because I felt de motivated and lost. Now I'm back on track and be more mindful and goal oriented.
     
    NF4L likes this.
  19. The Watcher

    The Watcher Fapstronaut

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    during this period have you been watching porn ? checking porn sites but not masturbation ?

    I was 3 weeks clean and I started to see results, if you were checking or watching porn without masturbation you are just torturing yourself because the point is not masturbation it is your brain on porn
     
  20. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    Boy, DID I NEED TO READ THIS JUST NOW.

    I've got a separate browser that I sued for my porn activities - I keep opening that and looking at the history, which I KNOW is a mistake. I'm obsessing on one or two of my favorites.

    Thank God my daily AP call was coming up! That got me to close that history and come here.

    I still want to do it, and don't want to do it, at the same time.

    I KNOW I'll probably feel sick to my stomach if I do it, but I'm really wanting to do it.

    But the answer is what @RememberWhyWeQuit said and what @ControlV said back. Plus to stop looking at that old browser history. And drive out the thoughts that are making me do that.

    I've been depressed and unmotivated the last few days, or more. Having reset on 1/1 because I looked at a couple of tranny picks in "other" email account doesn't help.

    I'm not acting like somebody who wants to quit, because I don't want to quit - but I desperately want my dick to work, so I have to quit.
     

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