Day 77 and How my own mind deceived me!!

P

ProMindfulness

Fapstronaut
I started off so powerful and willing, and i was aiming for 2 days, then a week, then two weeks, then a month, until i reached this day, where i suddenly burned out and i needed to take a break from work, PORN was almost escaping my thoughts and it was the last option in my mind, but a thought suddenly occurred to me, it was rational but irrational at the same time, and that thought was...((it's not the porn's fault, it's my fault for spending time thinking about porn and making a huge deal out of it, so if i relapse again and manage to not over do it, i will not become addicted and i will enjoy it too..))
I didn't know how to deal with a thought like that, so i went researching about if i can manage that, but i didn't find any, i tried to ignore the thought but it kept coming back, so it was taking from my time and energy to do important tasks, and so another thought attacked me saying ((if I watch porn and relapse, all these thoughts would disappear and I will be able to do the tasks easier and better)).. this was so true, so i believed it and relapsed, and i must be honest, i felt great and completed my tasks... but it was for just 12 hours, the next day i woke up feeling like SHIT, as if i started all over again to Day 1, all the symptoms, from lack of motivation to emotional numbness, to physical stamina..etc, are back, and i felt no greater despair and frustration over myself, so i went hardcore 3 times a day PMO for a week until now, that i realized it was all BULLSHIT, there's no such a thing as doing it for once or twice a week (for me at least), so now that i know this fact about myself, i will never ever fall prey to those thoughts ever again. I'm already 20 and i haven't achieved shit in my life mainly because of PMO and other reasons, but now i'm committed more than ever to ignore this sick world and to focus on reality and my goals.
 
Congrats for sharing your story
Yes motivation is key but also writing down a plan to remember that our minds have no pride and will make us believe anything to get it's dope.

I come here or go for a walk when the urges are too strong.

I wish you success
 
Yes, getting away from porn addiction can be véry tricky in the long run. One day you're completely free from it for weeks/months, then suddenly it's there in your mind...

I have my watch/smartphone ready on a 5-minute timer. Whenever I feel the urge, I activate the timer and meditate. It really does help.

If it's really bad, go outside. Leave your phone if necessary.
 
ProMindfulness said:
I started off so powerful and willing, and i was aiming for 2 days, then a week, then two weeks, then a month, until i reached this day, where i suddenly burned out and i needed to take a break from work, PORN was almost escaping my thoughts and it was the last option in my mind, but a thought suddenly occurred to me, it was rational but irrational at the same time, and that thought was...((it's not the porn's fault, it's my fault for spending time thinking about porn and making a huge deal out of it, so if i relapse again and manage to not over do it, i will not become addicted and i will enjoy it too..))
I didn't know how to deal with a thought like that, so i went researching about if i can manage that, but i didn't find any, i tried to ignore the thought but it kept coming back, so it was taking from my time and energy to do important tasks, and so another thought attacked me saying ((if I watch porn and relapse, all these thoughts would disappear and I will be able to do the tasks easier and better)).. this was so true, so i believed it and relapsed, and i must be honest, i felt great and completed my tasks... but it was for just 12 hours, the next day i woke up feeling like SHIT, as if i started all over again to Day 1, all the symptoms, from lack of motivation to emotional numbness, to physical stamina..etc, are back, and i felt no greater despair and frustration over myself, so i went hardcore 3 times a day PMO for a week until now, that i realized it was all BULLSHIT, there's no such a thing as doing it for once or twice a week (for me at least), so now that i know this fact about myself, i will never ever fall prey to those thoughts ever again. I'm already 20 and i haven't achieved shit in my life mainly because of PMO and other reasons, but now i'm committed more than ever to ignore this sick world and to focus on reality and my goals.
Click to expand...
Hey mate.
I also relapsed in day 72. That was an awesome streak but I got tricked by my mind the same way you did.
I've read so many stuff in this community and I've come to realize almost everyone feel the same things between day 70 and 90. This is a precious experience and we must stick to it. What I really admire in your case is your self-awareness. We all relapse but only a few of us will notice why and what caused this. You'll go far. No doubt in that. thanks for sharing your experience.
Good luck. Life loves you!
 
5adn8m8 said:
Hey mate.
I also relapsed in day 72. That was an awesome streak but I got tricked by my mind the same way you did.
I've read so many stuff in this community and I've come to realize almost everyone feel the same things between day 70 and 90. This is a precious experience and we must stick to it. What I really admire in your case is your self-awareness. We all relapse but only a few of us will notice why and what caused this. You'll go far. No doubt in that. thanks for sharing your experience.
Good luck. Life loves you!
Click to expand...

It may be a coincidence that it takes 74 days or about 10 weeks for sperm to be produced and fully mature:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...-when-you-stop-ejaculating.47592/#post-329905

It's both psychological & physical/physiological. Maybe the mind can't handle it, so you gotta do something physical about it (and I don't mean MO).

This NoFap community is great for the psychological part, but for the physiological part, some serious yoga can help ease the tension especially in that area.
 
koolpal said:
It may be a coincidence that it takes 74 days or about 10 weeks for sperm to be produced and fully mature:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...-when-you-stop-ejaculating.47592/#post-329905

It's both psychological & physical/physiological. Maybe the mind can't handle it, so you gotta do something physical about it (and I don't mean MO).

This NoFap community is great for the psychological part, but for the physiological part, some serious yoga can help ease the tension especially in that area.
Click to expand...
wow... so informative... thank you for sharing mate. thanks a lot!
 
koolpal said:
It may be a coincidence that it takes 74 days or about 10 weeks for sperm to be produced and fully mature:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...-when-you-stop-ejaculating.47592/#post-329905

It's both psychological & physical/physiological. Maybe the mind can't handle it, so you gotta do something physical about it (and I don't mean MO).

This NoFap community is great for the psychological part, but for the physiological part, some serious yoga can help ease the tension especially in that area.
Click to expand...
wow you're right! So,,, you're at day 158 then?
 
koolpal said:
@goodnice Yup. Day 158 so far. Rough ride. Flatlining right now, but, yeah the first 70-90 days, my mind & body were going crazy. I see you're not too far behind yourself.
Click to expand...
me too man. At 70 days, 90 days seemed almost impossible, even tho it was only 20 away.
Can i ask how you made it this far? I see you just made an account recently. So before this you never made an account?
Congrats on the 158 days! It's been rough for me too
 
goodnice said:
me too man. At 70 days, 90 days seemed almost impossible, even tho it was only 20 away.
Can i ask how you made it this far? I see you just made an account recently. So before this you never made an account?
Congrats on the 158 days! It's been rough for me too
Click to expand...

@goodnice Thanks. No account before, just read the public forums. Read somewhere that a reboot varies per person, 90-150 days, so decided to make an account & journal [here] at 150 days and try to backtrack. Wish I made one earlier.

What helped the most was mix of this NoFap site (psychological/mental/rational/intellectual), yoga (physiological/physical/biological), and prayer/meditation/contemplation (spiritual/emotional/psychological). Yup, PMO really messes with your mind & body. Hafta attack it from different angles.
 
koolpal said:
@goodnice Thanks. No account before, just read the public forums. Read somewhere that a reboot varies per person, 90-150 days, so decided to make an account & journal [here] at 150 days and try to backtrack. Wish I made one earlier.

What helped the most was mix of this NoFap site (psychological/mental/rational/intellectual), yoga (physiological/physical/biological), and prayer/meditation/contemplation (spiritual/emotional/psychological). Yup, PMO really messes with your mind & body. Hafta attack it from different angles.
Click to expand...
nice i like how you describe the different ways those things helped and what way they helped like physiological
 
Remember. The journey of thousand miles, Begans with one step.dont be slave to ur thoughts control them.
 
ProMindfulness said:
I started off so powerful and willing, and i was aiming for 2 days, then a week, then two weeks, then a month, until i reached this day, where i suddenly burned out and i needed to take a break from work, PORN was almost escaping my thoughts and it was the last option in my mind, but a thought suddenly occurred to me, it was rational but irrational at the same time, and that thought was...((it's not the porn's fault, it's my fault for spending time thinking about porn and making a huge deal out of it, so if i relapse again and manage to not over do it, i will not become addicted and i will enjoy it too..))
I didn't know how to deal with a thought like that, so i went researching about if i can manage that, but i didn't find any, i tried to ignore the thought but it kept coming back, so it was taking from my time and energy to do important tasks, and so another thought attacked me saying ((if I watch porn and relapse, all these thoughts would disappear and I will be able to do the tasks easier and better)).. this was so true, so i believed it and relapsed, and i must be honest, i felt great and completed my tasks... but it was for just 12 hours, the next day i woke up feeling like SHIT, as if i started all over again to Day 1, all the symptoms, from lack of motivation to emotional numbness, to physical stamina..etc, are back, and i felt no greater despair and frustration over myself, so i went hardcore 3 times a day PMO for a week until now, that i realized it was all BULLSHIT, there's no such a thing as doing it for once or twice a week (for me at least), so now that i know this fact about myself, i will never ever fall prey to those thoughts ever again. I'm already 20 and i haven't achieved shit in my life mainly because of PMO and other reasons, but now i'm committed more than ever to ignore this sick world and to focus on reality and my goals.
Click to expand...
You got that right.

The world is sick. It's backwards and upside down and there are people everywhere screaming and shouting that the sickness is healthy and what is good for us and what we should pursue.

Thanks for posting this.
 
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