Day 90! First time

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Mr Rn, Jul 7, 2021.

  1. Mr Rn

    Mr Rn Fapstronaut

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    After all this time, after feeling like I'd never get rid of this addiction. I finally did it. It feels amazing and at the same time it feels normal. I feel like this is how I should be as a human. Not someone who abuses their best feeling dopamine reward system daily as if you have accomplished everything you needed to.

    Main benefits I feel:

    • Confidence - a tonne more than I had when I first started, I have a funny story that I got into in altercation with someone on the bball court around day 60, I ended up winning the mental battle - bare in mind, I would never have started that battle if I wasn't on nofap.

    • Stability - A lot less mood swings that I would have from the relapses that would make me feel like shit.

    • Control - It sounds wild but i no longer desire to watch porn, I see porn as something used to cope and to stop you from achieving success with a woman yourself.

    • Muscle - Mainly from the training that I've picked up - (I wouldn't have trained as much if I did fap)

    • Charisma - No superstimulus is very good for enjoying the little things in life
    Heres my advice to you guys starting off or failing to get out of a porn cycle.

    I was fapping a lot. Every day. When I first did Nofap, I could never get past a certain number of days. I was so fed up, my streaks were getting smaller. and it felt like I was making no progress. That couldn't be further from the truth, every failure you make is an experience that will be engrained in your mind to be able to understand why you shouldn't relapse. Don't beat yourself up and start learning. Take notes, I couldn't have gotten here without journaling or at least getting my thoughts together. Consider joining an accountability group - we are social beings and having a social outlet will 100% benefit you.

    How I got to 90 days specifically?

    I challenged myself to 20 days allowing myself to relapse after. This is important because if you do relapse after 20 days it gives you a sense of control and not a failure. Besides it's better to go 20 days all across the year than say 1,5,2,... etc. But anyway fast forward 20 days - they were super tough, but do you ever one day just say, let me just hang on this one time. That's what I did and when I reached 20, my mindset had completely changed, I now had something worthy to hold on to. I had a way out - most of the time you will feel very trapped after a relapse, so those are the points where it's hardest to make a decision. But at 20, my mind was a lot clearer, I began adding new hobbies, training routines and other good stuff to keep me entertained - then I reached Day 90... Yeah there were hard days but If I'm honest, the hardest day was right at the start at Day 13 where I resisted an urge I ALWAYS relapse to. I held on for 3 hours walking in my apartment using every bit of willpower i had. That was the turning point. The rest is a result of good planning, trial and error and effort.

    We're all working towards the right direction boys. Pick yourself up and make yourself the person everyone wants to be
     
  2. But what does all of this mean? Will you never masturbate again or will you never masturbate to porn again?
    I would never like to masturbate again but that seems so far fetched and unrealistic. It would be fine if I got a girlfriend but that will not happen.
    This is what holds me back, I won’t ever have sex (most probably anyway, for different reasons that are not important right now) so in essence masturbation is all I got. So if I stop masturbating I will deprive myself of the pleasure of orgasm for all time.
    This is what troubles me.

    Anyway congrats on your 90 days, it seems like an eternity, well done!
     
    Mr Rn likes this.
  3. Flesh

    Flesh Fapstronaut

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    To Mr Rn, good job sir, but I would say to not do the mistake to think most of it is behind now, I've seen quiete a good amount of report here and there saying they got trapped into this "90 days milestone, pog everything is behind me now, i've rebooted" and relapsed at one point or another in the futur.

    One of them, pretty well written and "documented" (there is a lot of info, that's what i mean). He didn't relapse but he apparently had very hard time way beyond 90 days at which point he felt he was kinda done with the pmo problem if i remember correctly : https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/1-year-of-hard-mode-abstinence-today-365-days-report-yeeeeaaaahh.65779/

    To mummra, hey man I got ur feeling at some point and I thought that few years ahead, if I would really have such a dead love life, I could just pleasure myself "the smart way", without porn, without any external stimulation, and not even necessarily the act of masturbation, there is a lot of pleasurables ways to stimulate the penis (and not necessarily to orgasm either). It's like food imo, disregarding the addiction problem, when u got a healthy relationship with ur penis/vagina u can pleasure urself without excess (frequence, intensity, etc). I would also emphasise the fact that this thought is one of these that u're brain is using to rationalise going back to PMO.
     
    Mr Rn likes this.
  4. Mr Rn

    Mr Rn Fapstronaut

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    Since i still consider myself a porn addict, I'll be staying on my journey, I also don't want to lose these benefits that i'm seeing. If you told me that I was going to plan to never fap again at day 0, I probably wouldn't believe you and I wouldn't have faith to get there anyway, it was because of my 20 day challenge that cleared my mind and allowed me to make this decision to continue.

    It may seem impossible to you, and it would have to me, but try make a decision when you've had a solid time off porn. You might see things differently
     
    FearMyDiscipline likes this.
  5. Mr Rn

    Mr Rn Fapstronaut

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    That's very much my next obstacle, not to get drawn in by any slips since I'll be focusing my energy elsewhere. This has kind of been the norm for me now but once again, I am still a porn addict.
     
  6. Good job on reaching such an impresive streak brother. Dont let your guard down doh. I once reached a 70 something streak and let my guard down wich led to me failing over and over again. I am getting back up doh.

    Keep on going strong bro
     
    Mr Rn likes this.
  7. Congratulations sir.I hope I reach there too.I have never gotten beyond 32.I wish i get rid of this shit.
     
    Mr Rn and Le 300 like this.
  8. Dont give up and learn from your mistakes and you should be able to get there bro. It will take time but you will make it
     
    Die hard fighter likes this.
  9. Congratulations brother!
    Are you still boxing?
    When I heard that you were a boxer I was happy cause I used to boxe too I'm working out to lose some fat and then I'll boxe again.
    Talking about it increase my motivation.
     
    Mr Rn and Le 300 like this.
  10. Mr Rn

    Mr Rn Fapstronaut

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    Thanks bro!
    Yeah i am still doing boxing, also working in the gym with weights to increase my strength.

    Oh nice you box too? It's great that you're gonna get back into it, boxing is an amazing sport and really good for training. I'm glad youre more motivated, just remember discipline > motivation. Stay strong my man
     
    Malik gilroy likes this.
  11. Rents77

    Rents77 Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations on reaching 90 days, your story makes for a nice reading!
     
    Mr Rn likes this.
  12. Suchodolsky

    Suchodolsky Fapstronaut

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    Congrats! I'm just starting with NoFap and really "no desire to watch porn" sounds totally unrealistic for me now ;)
     
    Mr Rn likes this.
  13. Mr Rn

    Mr Rn Fapstronaut

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    You won't trust me but I felt the exact same, I felt anxious whenever I thought that I would never want to watch porn again. It's always in the back of mind that its available with a click of a button. These feelings can change though, it's all up to you to decide whether you want them to :)

    Good luck m8!
     
    Suchodolsky likes this.
  14. Dovahkin101

    Dovahkin101 Fapstronaut

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    I really like that idea of setting a certain amount of days as a goal. If I can make it that long I will feel really good from not doing it for so long and I will feel like I achieved something huge for myself. I like the group challenges like the Jedi Council. I am on day 9 right now of no PMO so I will promise to get to at least the Jedi Knight rank which is 30 days of no PMO. I have gone 90 days of no porn before so I know how much better I can feel without consuming that stuff for a long time. But this time I'm abstaining from the MO as well so I expect I will feel at least a little bit better than last time. I relapsed at the time because I had a lot of stress and I didn't know how to handle it, so I'm taking things in life at a more gradual process rather than trying to do everything at once.
     
    Mr Rn likes this.
  15. God of Self Control

    God of Self Control New Fapstronaut

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    congratulation brother . We are proud of u . dont ever turn back to pmo again . I lost a streak of 164 days because of my overcondifence that i cant relapse . make sure to be still respectful towards your journey .
     
    Mr Rn and Dovahkin101 like this.
  16. Yes I will. Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps. :)
     
    Mr Rn likes this.
  17. Mr Rn

    Mr Rn Fapstronaut

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    I'm lucky to have come up with such an idea, I really find it an essential to do such a thing since if you fail the challenge, you can tell you're not in the mindset to recover, and you are able to pinpoint what to improve about your mindset and the way you go about failures. Once you do reach that victory, you have two options. Purposeful relapse or recovery. It will all happen in the moment but you will find your reason to keep on going. 90 days without porn is very impressive, you must have felt a lot better as a man! Still, hardmode without an MO will completely put you in a position where porn won't even look like a good option after a stressful day. Keep going you're on the right track
    Thank you for your advice, it's important not to get complacent. I'm sure you can get back up there my man
     
    Dovahkin101 likes this.
  18. TB4

    TB4 Fapstronaut

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    no man
    no man , masturbation is not all you have,you have wet dreams,YOUR BODY decides when you need to have an orgasm,and when you do it simply gives you a wet dream,do you think thousands of years ago when our ancestors couldn't get sex they masturbated? heck no,we as males EVOVLED to not ever have to masturbate,its not healthy nor is it beneficial,plus semen retention is an actual thing and you'll learn a lot about why you shouldn't masturbate (even without porn) and if you think that you NEED to orgasm then you have a problem dude,a mental one,cuz we as humans do not need to, conserving our seed,the most powerful liquid, something the gods would call nector,is the most important thing,you do not wanna be wasting it,no matter what your brain says
     
    Mr Rn likes this.
  19. Well how far do you want to go? Masturbation in ancient Greece, Egypt and Rome was practiced, this is concluded from texts and art. They were every bit as perverse as people now.
    Pre civilization? That is anyone’s guess. I’d say probably but not as obsessive as we do now. Just imagine how it went. People lived in small confined spaces, probably a whole bunch of them together. They would see a “couple” if that was a thing back then have sex. The others could hear and see this as a house had or a cave had no doors or different rooms. It is not unlikely imo that other humans got erections and masturbated while watching or listening.

    Kids masturbate too and they don’t watch porn. When I was under 10 I had orgasms without ejaculation. I didn’t realize it then what I was doing I just knew it felt good and I did it regularly. Parents have seen this behavior by their children as well. Humans just naturally learned how to masturbate until the church called it a sin and started shaming people who did it.
     
  20. Isobar

    Isobar Fapstronaut

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    One question bro.. how many times you got wet dreams during this 90 days journey?
    Does wet dreams stops after some time?
     

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