I was depressed and i wanted to kill Myself, but i found something called "Semen retention". And it sayed that it would make you more energetic. Then i decided to do semen retention. I have failed every 2 or 1 days, then i started failed at 3 or 4 days, and then i came back failing 1 days, but then i started failing every week. And i did some day more than 30 days, i didn't keep counting. But i suddenly started to get excited to talking to girls, i never felt like that. And i also noticed that i got more masculine. But i failed it again, and i again tried it. I kept failing until i holy spirit spoke to me and it said "Don't worry, this time you won't fail. Do daily fasting and you should be changed" did more than 30+ days again, this one was more noticable effect than ever on my previous semen retention records. I believed it, imagine if i wouldn't believe it. All girls would look at time all the time. And i felt like just god created me like i was new masculine man. It felt very masculine. It felt like i was normal human being. I did until i relapsed on last day of the school before the summer. Girls would look at me at disgust. They would judge me. That masculine being feeling was gone. But after that i never relapsed again. And that masculine feeling came back again even stronger, because i retained. All girls would look at me again. Yesterday i felt the best version of myself, i felt the most manly, but the other problem was that when i look at some random girl, i get very big dopamine hit, it's just that every girl that i look is beautiful, because i have so much sexual energy. So i closed my eyes every time i walked, girls would say "What's the matter with him?", i can imagine how that looked, probably very weird. But suddenly i felt like depressed and sleepy at 17 clock, that was very weird because i go to sleep at 21 clock. But i'm never going back to that shitty lifestyle again. I would never would be in this place without god. And also many people ask how do i recover fastly, i would recommend go to cold shower, cardio, eating nutritinous diet, for example: eggs, fish and spinach, meditating escpecially after a cold shower. For me what has worked was doing cardio until im very hungry and then go to cold shower after that you eat and then after eating i go to meditating, because when you go to cold shower very hungrily, then it just becomes more cold, because to your body to heat up, it needs body fat. The problem with nofap is that you can have sex, which releases your sperm.