DE Trying to find hope

I would like to use this forum to tell you my story. I am sure that I am not the only one with this problem.



I discovered M at 6-7 years of age, I did M for a long, long time, at that time I didn't know what I was doing, I just knew it felt good.



I kept practicing M, then I discovered P at the age of 12-13, I was young and I had never imagined that I was hurting myself. (At that time I had no erectile dysfunction, I felt my strong penis even made me proud)



When I turned 16 I had my first girlfriend (I was not aware of my DE) (at that time I had never had sex (I was a virgin), I had only seen P and made M)



When we wanted to have sex, my cock didn't work, I tried it again and again at that moment, I realized that I had a BIG problem and I still have it, we were 8 months together in that period of time, we couldn't have sex



During 2 years after I tried to have sex with other girls, but I couldn't

I had no choice, I used a blue pill just using a blue pill I was able to have sex for the first time, it happened last year.



I told my mother about my problem, we visited the doctor together, he asked me for blood tests. He said my testosterone was fine and that my problem was psychological.



I have years with this, now I am 20 years old, I do not feel sure of myself and I can not stop thinking about this, I always think that no girl will not want to be with me for this reason, even if a girl likes me is when I feel more depressed because I feel useless, this it starts to affect me psychologically sometimes I feel depressed when I look in the mirror I feel ashamed of myself sometimes I wonder if it's still worth being alive, lately I've been thinking that I don't want to live from this way for the rest of my life, suicidal thoughts cross my mind.

I hope NoFap can help me with this curse It’s the only hope that I have.