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Dealing w/ Breakup

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Keys2TheCastle, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. Jun 25, 2019 #1
    Keys2TheCastle

    Keys2TheCastle Fapstronaut

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    Title is self-explanatory. After many weeks of contemplation and reaching out to my family members and therapist, I decided to call a break on my relationship with my first partner last night. I have been so used to this person's presence for over 3 years and even though I took initiative and sat down to talk with her honestly about my feelings, I am beyond miserable.

    I worry of how I'm going to react when I spend time with my friends this week. My Sunday D&D group already knows about it and they consoled me by taking me out of the house and spending time with me. I try to connect with my biggest passion, making and playing music, but I feel utterly hopeless. I even took down a poster from my wall related to one of my partner's favorite bands, the hangers on the wall being a blinding reminder of what we listened to and related to together.

    One of the big issues I have is that my brain is telling me two conflicting ideas: one is that I should remain in contact with this ex (even typing it makes me feel sad) regularly so I don't lose them, the other is that I should give myself room to breathe and take time for myself and my own new journey.

    If anybody has any suggestions or advice, I will undoubtedly appreciate it.
     
    Keys2TheCastle, Jun 25, 2019
    Keys2TheCastle, Jun 25, 2019
    #1
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.
  2. Jun 25, 2019 #2
    RockyMountain

    RockyMountain Fapstronaut

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    Hey bro,

    You made the decision to separate for a reason. I did the same thing about 6 months ago. I had times where I really missed her but it has been for the best.

    The initial separation is hard but take full advantage of exploring your old self and you will be surprised how much you missed yourself. The urge will to PMO will be strong at first because of loneliness. If you slip up then no worries just keep working to improve everyday. Spend the least amount of time with her as possible and this will give your brain a change to separate each other in your mind.

    I found myself after a separation and looking back I don’t know how I survived so long. You will look back in a few months with a fresh perspective on life and know you made the right choice.

    You are the MAN!
     
    RockyMountain, Jun 25, 2019
    RockyMountain, Jun 25, 2019
    #2
  3. Jun 26, 2019 #3
    Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Burn the poster, or her photos if you have them, I mean it. It may sound edgy and dramatic but this little ritual may help you with accepting the fact that bridges are burnt and this is truly over. This relationship was probably destined to fail. Don't talk to her too much on the internet but do not block her unless necessary. Give yourself a break from dating for some time.
     
    Freedom_from_PMO, Jun 26, 2019
    Freedom_from_PMO, Jun 26, 2019
    #3
    RockyMountain likes this.
  4. Jun 28, 2019 #4
    RockyMountain

    RockyMountain Fapstronaut

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    That is harsh and also super good advice. Rearrange your furniture in your house or apartment or wherever you live. This will really speed up things. It is like performing a super deep inner house cleaning.
     
    RockyMountain, Jun 28, 2019
    RockyMountain, Jun 28, 2019
    #4
  5. Jul 4, 2019 #5
    properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

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    You are grieving the loss of a relationship. It will take some time to get over the grief, it doesn't happen overnight. The worst thing is to act as if everything is ok.

    It doesn't matter whether you are the one who initiated the break up, it's still a loss. Listen to your gut and take time for yourself.
     
    properWood, Jul 4, 2019
    properWood, Jul 4, 2019
    #5

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