Deep thoughts

zombieslayer · Nov 15, 2020

Thinking about why I care about what others think lead me here...

My parents used to dress my brother and me up in clothes we did not want to wear. Dorky looking matching outfits that were all one color. They probably looked more expensive than they actually were, and that was the goal. We used to go the fair and my parents would tell my brother and me which rides to go on, even though we did not want to be there. The intention was not family fun, it was to look good to other families so that my parents could say hi and be normal in front of neighbors, friends, and their own peers.

This got me thinking. My parents were probably conditioned from an early age to follow orders. They have always wanted to fit in and do as they were told. It started with their parents being the boss, then their teachers, then their boss, and now society and their boss. They follow along and do as they are told.

I don't take to this behavior very well. I was conditioned from an early age to follow orders, and the habit is still in me as a knee jerk reaction, but year after year I am unwinding it. I have frequently questioned authority. I respect others, but I just don't fit in very well. I thought this was a weakness, but now I see how it can be a strength.

My biggest realization today is that everyone is a kid. No one ever really grows up. We are born, and we accumulate experiences, and we grow. There is no dividing line between kid and adult. There are just different levels and kinds of experiences. There are different levels and kinds of growth.

My parents don't know what they are doing. Neither do yours; They just think they are doing what is right based on their own experience in life, based on what they have learned and have been conditioned to do. My parents have been conditioned to think you work, have a family, take pictures of the family, tell them to smile, show other people, fit in with your neighbors even if that means sacrificing your morals and values and opinions and personal goals. They think that is normal, and it is, for them. That may or may not be normal for you and me and anybody else.

Nobody on this earth knows you better than you. I write this almost with a tear in my eye because that last sentence may go over someone's head as cliché. I believe I understand it, though. Well, I understand it better than yesterday.

SickSicko · Nov 15, 2020

You just reminded me of this video:

Although I think there is a line between kid and adult, at is not the age.

Little Prince · Nov 15, 2020

Erm no, you have shit parents. If you have children and you take them to the fair to have fun then you let them have fun not force them on rides they don't want to go on. It's as easy as that. Saying that they didn't know any better isn't an excuse, they didn't care about you or your brother.

I also have shit parents. They think they are so kind yet they abused me for decades because "they didn't know better".

Deleted Account · Nov 16, 2020

Though I do agree with you a major of people are unlearned, unknowing. It is unfortunate.
I constantly ask people, if the govt didnt tell you to wear masks, or to stay inside your homes, would you even do it?
I never get an answer for that question lol.

I KNOWWW. I know. I'm bringing up something considered divisive. But bear with me. Hopefully common sense isn't divisive.

I have observed that really... no one sat down and thought about their old loved ones during the beginning of the pandemic. When it came out that LTC facilities were a hotbed for covid deaths, all of a sudden everyone is blaming the government. How do I know this? Because you can google any video on YouTube about LTC being a hotbed for covid deaths and people are blaming govt institutions instead of taking account for their own carelessness when it comes to their family members. EVEN THOUGH publications had already been putting out material saying LTC homes were at-risk at the beginning of March!

They say trust the authorities. But the authorities lie. Lol.
< There's Fauci on video telling us all masks aren't effective and people shouldn't wear them.
So either he was lying then or he's lying now. Cause when confronted he backtracked and told us he said it out of fear of disrupting supply/demand for masks for the medical industry. People who lie can't be trusted. And yet still everyday people are putting their lives in the hands people who lie to them. That would be hilarious to me if it wasn't so despicable.
You've got people walking around who've been through 12 years of schooling and some of them even went on to post-secondary and have their degrees and masters and so on and wanna approach you with their chest out trying to look down at you because they really believe that validity lies in obedience. And you know why I think that? I think it's because when their choices go wrong- they have someone to blame. I find it incredible the mental gymnastics people can perform when it comes to finding fault in everyone else and walking away blameless for their choices! If it wasn't so perplexing it would be entertaining.

"Oh well the government should've told me to take my grandma out of the LTC" or "where am I gonna let my grandpa stay?" Ummm... idk buy a bunk bed and room with him? If you really give that much of a damn about him?
But you see people don't wanna go there. They wanna have their cake AND eat it with a side of ice cream, too.

@zombieslayer "My parents have been conditioned to think you work, have a family, take pictures of the family, tell them to smile, show other people, fit in with your neighbors even if that means sacrificing your morals and values and opinions and personal goals."
That's an interesting statement, why do you say that?

Deleted Account · Nov 16, 2020

zombieslayer said: ↑

Thinking about why I care about what others think lead me here...

My parents used to dress my brother and me up in clothes we did not want to wear. Dorky looking matching outfits that were all one color. They probably looked more expensive than they actually were, and that was the goal. We used to go the fair and my parents would tell my brother and me which rides to go on, even though we did not want to be there. The intention was not family fun, it was to look good to other families so that my parents could say hi and be normal in front of neighbors, friends, and their own peers.

This got me thinking. My parents were probably conditioned from an early age to follow orders. They have always wanted to fit in and do as they were told. It started with their parents being the boss, then their teachers, then their boss, and now society and their boss. They follow along and do as they are told.

I don't take to this behavior very well. I was conditioned from an early age to follow orders, and the habit is still in me as a knee jerk reaction, but year after year I am unwinding it. I have frequently questioned authority. I respect others, but I just don't fit in very well. I thought this was a weakness, but now I see how it can be a strength.

My biggest realization today is that everyone is a kid. No one ever really grows up. We are born, and we accumulate experiences, and we grow. There is no dividing line between kid and adult. There are just different levels and kinds of experiences. There are different levels and kinds of growth.

My parents don't know what they are doing. Neither do yours; They just think they are doing what is right based on their own experience in life, based on what they have learned and have been conditioned to do. My parents have been conditioned to think you work, have a family, take pictures of the family, tell them to smile, show other people, fit in with your neighbors even if that means sacrificing your morals and values and opinions and personal goals. They think that is normal, and it is, for them. That may or may not be normal for you and me and anybody else.

Nobody on this earth knows you better than you. I write this almost with a tear in my eye because that last sentence may go over someone's head as cliché. I believe I understand it, though. Well, I understand it better than yesterday.
Click to expand...

It's good that you've had this epiphany. You can change yourself and become the person you really want to be, you just have to be brave and want it enough.

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