Defeated porn but keep relapsing with masturbation

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by EndureTheStruggle, Jan 13, 2021.

  1. So I successfully managed to quit porn a few months ago and don’t have any temptations to view it. The thing is that masturbation is my current issue and the ultimate issue as it always has been before I even got into porn addiction. My highest streak was around 26 days I think but I failed due to masturbation. Nowadays I can’t last a week let alone 2. It’s very, very difficult and I’ve been trying. My most vulnerable moments are when I’m in bed and at night. I don’t know what to do; I’m at a loss. If you have any solutions or suggestions please let me know.
     
  2. goku0697

    goku0697 Fapstronaut

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    Hey Brother...even I am facing the same problems and therefore I came to this new website. Lets face it together and keep discussing with each other at regular intervals. Will help each other to get through this. Please let me know about your problems specifically and I will also share mine so that we could get through this together. I am also looking for an accountability partner.
     
    FezMan76 and EndureTheStruggle like this.
  3. Thank you!! I sent you a message. I'd be glad to be your accountability partner. Let's work together to combat this issue.
     
    Mostly harmless likes this.
  4. goku0697

    goku0697 Fapstronaut

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    Yes brother...lets discuss everyday about our day and the triggers which lead on to our masturbation problem. Can we connect personally? Please share your thoughts and views to my everyday on a regular basis!
     
  5. Hey buddy.... relieved to find someone facing this problem. I'm facing the same problem. I think masturbating at night is the cause for low motivation and depression. Masturbation has been a tough nightmare to handle. I can stay off porn...for eg I found an old deleted clip yesterday but deleted it. But masturbation has been difficult to control. World appreciate if discussion can continue among us . Thanks
     
    Targaryenn and FezMan76 like this.
  6. Thanks, good to know I'm not alone. Yes, that's probably the case, though stress is also a contributing factor. It's very tough to handle. Hopefully we can find ways around it.
     
  7. I can relate. I've had some LONG streaks of no PMO, over a year once! Lately it's a day to day struggle, resetting my counter almost every day. There will be short streaks with no porn at all, but then it's hard to get the first 24 to 48 hours in with no actual fap. Sometimes I think I'm just being lazy and have that attitude, "Screw it, I'm doing this!"
    What has worked in the past is that I simply get out of bed when the urge hits. That breaks things up if I actually do it. But then I don't even follow what I know works. What does help is to recommit here from time to time.
    Reset 7:30 a.m. Day Zero.
     
    Targaryenn and FezMan76 like this.
  8. It's a trap . Even 500+ streakers break up due to the false confidence that they are free. You are not free. I hope you don't learn it the hard way
     
  9. I have had a similar struggle. There's a theory that what we're actually addicted to is orgasm and that porn is the thing that gets us there most efficiently. I read another theory once that said that masturbation helped develop our imaginations! (obviously before porn and the web) Even when I remove porn from the equation, the fapping just creeps up until I just reset and start counting days again. I am a recovered alcoholic. If I drank a beer today, the same thing would likely happen: a little a day from this point forward, only a little more each day until I was right where I left off.
    But I have had some very long streaks. One thing that helps is that if I'm in bed and struggling, I get out of bed. The moving around sort of breaks the spell for a while. When I relapse I try to get back on the wagon as quickly as possible. Forgive myself and just keep going. I reset almost every day during certain periods. But every day of resisting counts.
     
    TheForsakeen likes this.
  10. so true. I went a year once and then started in again.
     
    Lovelife247 likes this.
  11. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    First, awesome about the move away from PMO! Be proud of that.

    If you look at this as a struggle, it will be a struggle. Don't put a lot of pressure on yourself. You are just putting unneeded mental strain on yourself. Loosen yourself up. Breathe, stretch your shoulder, your neck, and your arms, and just live. Don't live against masturbating, you are only giving the act more power. Just live happily. Be joyful. The urges come, calmly tell yourself, "no thank you". Or something to that effect.

    Remember to live! It doesn't matter if you will have made streaks in the hundreds if you weren't able to be joyful. If you went all that time without M-ing but you are a mental mess during that time, well that is just as bad as M-ing. Life is no sweeter.

    Your mentality in your acts is what brings about joy.
     
  12. SoundsGoodToMe

    SoundsGoodToMe Fapstronaut

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    that's half true!
    Most of us are hooked on the extreme dopamine "rush" that comes with viewing hardcore porn.
    That why we view it for hours on end before we allow ourselves to orgasm, and effectively end the dopamine rush.
     
    FapistMonk and Targaryenn like this.
  13. WesleyJ

    WesleyJ Fapstronaut

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    OP, I can totally relate as well. P is not an issue for me, but M is a weekly struggle at this point. Keep moving forward-one step at a time and we’ll get there!
     
    stylis162 likes this.
  14. I’ve been trying for quite a while now but honestly can’t last more than a week or so. I really don’t know what to do.
     
  15. stylis162

    stylis162 Fapstronaut

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    I have the samd issue with you guys I am far away from porn go 8 months now and not even a urge but with mo is hard
    I can stop it I get to this dilemma again and again masturbating or no and I think I must take the serious disicion now because this drives me crazy i am bored of this nofap and then mo comes again and then again and again the same is like i am in an endless loop
    Is hard to take the disicion not to masturbate never again but I have to take the disicion because this is what I need and want guys
     
  16. stylis162

    stylis162 Fapstronaut

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    I feel like masturbation has nothing to give me anymore than just a moment of pleasure but this pleasure I can get it from sex with a woman not alone
    I want to live freely without thinking tonight I will fap without wasting time and sleep at night
    yeah sure masturbation is a good thing and healthy according to scientists but for me is not, I think is not something that benefits me
    Do you feel the same guys?
     
    Mostly harmless likes this.
  17. Agent

    Agent Fapstronaut

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    Same thing here, porn was much easier to quit than masturbation. The best way to avoid that is keeping a routine that makes you feel fulfilled by the end of the day, going to bed feeling that "ive done nothing today" and struggling with PMO is not easy at all
     
  18. i struggle with this too so every night i make a habit of listening to Porn Reboot podcast by JK emezi. It is just different and awesome. Men above 25 should definitely check out this organization
     
  19. don0529

    don0529 Fapstronaut

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    Paradoxically, One has to become ok with relapsing while at the same time strive to be the true man that we know we are. And it doesn't matter how many times we relapse. We just keep getting up. If it takes years then it takes years. Nobody just decides to quit and then that's it. We all relapse-- especially if we are in our younger years... But if the desire to be free of the lustful compulsion is strong in us then we will be free in this lifetime. That's all that matters. It doesn't matter exactly when... It just matters that we will be free if we keep honoring our desire to be free. If we constantly try to stay conscious whenever we act out in ways that we don't want to act out in and taste the bad fruits from such actions then we will stop doing it at some point. Something inside will just shift and this compulsion will dissolve and then that will be it...
     
    stylis162 and Mostly harmless like this.

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