Define Accountability Partner...

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by NaturalPornKiller, Sep 5, 2020.

  1. NaturalPornKiller

    NaturalPornKiller Fapstronaut

    19
    37
    13
    While nothing of a novice to recovery, I am somewhat of a newcomer to the recovery community here at nofap. I'm also aware of the basic concept of an accountability partner, but I have further curiosities about what this entails exactly.

    I linked with an accountability partner relatively recently but it just resulted in us basically sharing the strategies that we each used to maintain sobriety. Maybe I didn't stick with it long enough but it didn't feel like what I thought such a partnership should have. I definitely didn't feel like such a partnership could do much to aid either of us during the recovery period.

    And being in recovery I'd imagine that accountability doesn't simply mean telling your AP about the sites that you decided to view during relapse, digression into content specifics or any sort of admission related to active addiction or behaviors. I'm sure that sharing such is part of that relationship, but can anyone help me better define exactly what sort of role accountability partners maintain for one another? I appreciate any advice regarding experience or any other type of knowledge related to this aspect of recovery. Thank you
     
    Johnthesavage likes this.
  2. KailianuOf831

    KailianuOf831 Fapstronaut

    5
    18
    3
    Hi NaturalPornKiller,

    I’ll try to keep my opinion short as im not typing on my laptop keyboard and i have butterfingers typing on my smartphone, but every AP relationship is different and it thrives around a mutual understanding between both partners of how much time each wants to invest in it and how deep they want to go. I think establishing that from the get go has helped me keep my AP (irl, not online) for a few years. I’ve shared my frustrations with him many times that I felt like he wasnt keeping his end of the bargain and I have been close to calling it quits, but I realized over time that that just puts me back to square 1 of having no AP. We were both able to be there for each other and communicate and resolve (most) of what made us feel like our AP relationship was pointless, and we stuck to being committed to each other. Over time our “ap” relationship evolved more into a friendship and I was able to witness how much he’s grown over the years and him finally getting married to his wife of several years this past July. Granted this AP relationship was in real life and not virtual facetiming via the internet (which i believe was a huge reason why we stuck it out for so long else it would have just fizzled away), but I don’t doubt it’s still possible to form such a formidable tyoe of bond of accountability and even friendship online. Again just my experiencr and opinion, but the AP you seek hopefully is able to fulfill his/her end of that relationship, no matter how shallow or how deep you both decide to be for each other. Kind of like a seesaw balancing each other out (horrible analogy i know) but i think u get jt lol
     
  3. NaturalPornKiller

    NaturalPornKiller Fapstronaut

    19
    37
    13
    Word I appreciate you sharing the insight and your experiences with an AP. It was nice to hear about your conflicts with him because of the resolution of course. If you can keep a relationship going despite those obstacles that's prolly a good indicator of how resilient the partnership is. Like you said though there is quite a bit of difference between online communication and communication in person.
    I'm not sure what I could benefit from better but I suppose just finding an AP at this point is my best option. Considering your "non-line" relationship, How did you happen to meet your AP if you don't mind me asking?
     
    Johnthesavage likes this.

Share This Page