delayed ejaculation cured, social anxiety cured

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Vulkan, Jan 20, 2018.

  1. Vulkan

    Vulkan Fapstronaut

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    Virgin until 32yo, I suffered from loneliness so bad, I would feel the pain physically, deeply depressed. Watched porn for many years, escalated through the categories.

    Out of desperation went to a hooker, but couldn´t even perform. But at home I could fap for hours - suspected something was wrong.

    I could only orgasm with very intense stimulation by my own hand, preferrably with anal stimulation added - penis felt so numb, that vaginal or oral would not work.:(

    In November last year I found out about nofap, I fapped a lot less then, but had relapses every few days, but did not binge on porn anymore.

    Around new year I was with another hooker and (after a small nofap streak) she made me cum performing oral.

    Yesterday, after a streak of 11 days, I finally could orgasm having vaginal sex (with condom). Before my streaks, I could almost feel nothing during vaginal sex, couldn´t even come close to orgasm.

    And I feel more confident now, yesterday I picked up two girls in a café.
    But they live in another city, still no girlfriend, but now I really have hope I will find a girlfriend soon.

    I believe porn turns men into inactive voyeurs, who don´t have the balls to pick up women and who couldn´t even perform - nofap works.;)
     
  2. justjack

    justjack Fapstronaut

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    thanks for sharing your story. i will do well to remember next time i feeling to slip up. no man is an island.
    one step at a time. your story will help me get my life back.
     
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  3. Tyjordan

    Tyjordan New Fapstronaut

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    Dude, hope is all that’s radiating from ya. I ideintify with the “sensation” or m-symptom of numbness. How did that get better for you? Did it feel more like a natural turn on instead of.... having to rubbing myself raw till I climax ....?
     
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  4. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    Congrats dude. But can you tell me how long you went nofap and how old you are. Also how many years were you into porn? Also tell us about the approximate number of relapses..
     
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  5. Vulkan

    Vulkan Fapstronaut

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    Great, I am glad if my story helps someone who suffers the same loneliness and sexual frustration.

    When my grandpa died, he told me one last thing - don´t give up, try again for your heart´s desire.
    So when you slip up, stand up even stronger to make it this time.
     
  6. Vulkan

    Vulkan Fapstronaut

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    The symptom of numbness was getting better and better over some weeks, I don´t have to rub like crazy anymore.
    When you relapse, don´t fap like 7 times in a row until you are completely numb - don´t binge and you don´t have to start from zero.

    Sex feels really natural and awesome, even the condom didn´t bother me too much. Only a few weeks ago I thouht I am too numb and may never orgasm having sex or that it may take many months/years of abstinence.
     
  7. Vulkan

    Vulkan Fapstronaut

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    I am 33 and was into porn-videos when I was about 18, but before that fapped often multiple times daily to fantasies, erotic TV shows at night or pictures - so basically a sad fapper for about 20 years.

    Starting from November I had about 10 relapses, but avoided to binge until getting completely numb again.
    Registered here new year and made a longer streak, then it worked!
    Guess I am lucky, that I was cured in such a short time.
     
  8. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    That's great news man :) . Good for you. I have no idea if I can O with another girl for a long time now. No gf, and getting one in India isn't easy, especially at my age of 30.
     
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  9. Vulkan

    Vulkan Fapstronaut

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    I don´t know how to find a girlfriend in India, if nothing works and if it´s very difficult at your age, maybe consider moving to another country? Maybe your caste system in India is a problem, only some girls are in the same caste as you are.
    You will need balls of steel to use the few chances you have. I believe nofap gives us more confidence/ can cure social anxiety.

    All kinds of negative thoughts may keep you away from approaching her. If you let them overwhelm you, you stay in the vicous circle of social anxiety.

    For example when I was at the café and saw the girls I was thinking:
    -you were 32yo virgin, they will reject you
    -they are much younger
    -you don´t even know what to say to them
    -they will ignore you or laugh at you
    -they want to drink their coffee in peace, you would disturb them
    -everyone here sees their table open in the middle, those on other tables, those on the bar, those playing billiard, dart
    -everyone will have a laugh about you desperate guy
    -even if they let you have a seat, they will talk about girls stuff, like some gossip or even cosmetics, you will be ignored
    My balls said: Bullshit, you are neat today, you are good to girls and don´t need to feel shame. Maybe they have an awesome character! Now you even had eye contact - stand up!
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2018
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  10. Brad Pitt mode activate, congrats man
     
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  11. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    Congrats, man. Keep it up, never look back. And you are absolutely right, porn turns men into docile creatures. You're a mere spectator and not an active participant, toxic toxic stuff indeed.
     
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  12. Vulkan

    Vulkan Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys! Yes, I plan to never look back at porn.

    I hope I will find a loving girlfriend soon and that I can be honest with her, then it will be relatively easy to stay clean and fully love her.

    Wish you strong willpower and good luck too.
     
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  13. 5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

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    I am so glade that you have cured your issue through NOFAP community and it's educational material.good luck mate.
     
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  14. 5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

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    I am so glade that you have cured your issue through NOFAP community and it's educational material.good luck mate.
     
  15. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    Trust me, if this were any other country than India or some Arabic countries I wouldn't hesitate to do this for one second. It's because while talking to random girls in the public is a common phenomenon in general, in western countries, NO girls in our country respond to a random guy. They only talk if they're remotely related to them. Eg, if they're working in the same place / same office. Even if you were shopping and you were nearby and told them "Nice choice", they'd just smile and say "Thanks", and be on their way. It's a stigma here, that talking to random guys in public makes them a "slut". Even the most good looking dudes with their muscular gym bodies have 'premium' tinder accounts to try and talk to new girls. There are pubs / bars, but the people who come there are always accompanied by their guys / girls.

    Long story short, approaching random girls in public is a no-no in my country. It's not about the caste system as much these days, that sorta thing is passe. Atleast in the world of befriending a girl. But they NEED to be familiar with you in one way or the other. I'm currently unemployed and looking for a job. But once I get a job, I'd go talk to the girls working with me sure, no problem, but I simply can't approach random girls here. It's just because literally noone else here in this country does it, that the girls find it a stigma to respond to strangers.

    Another problem is, since I'm 30, even 'befriending' a girl at work is hard. Because either 1. They're married (indians marry in their 20's 95% of the time). 2. If not, they're only befriending guys of their age or slightly above their age. So all this is a big problem for me in the dating world.

    Also last but not least, I'm in love with a girl, who just so happened to be single @28, and I 'kind of' had sex with her 6 months ago. I've been friends with her for 12 years, and I knew her from a social networking site, which was all the rage 12 years ago. That's when I realized I had PIED and that's why I"m here. Problem is, we're not talking for a while for a few reasons, but I'm sure she'll be back. And I'm doing noFap for her, so that when and if she came back, I'd be ready for her.
     
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  16. Vulkan

    Vulkan Fapstronaut

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    Ah, I didn´t know it is that difficult in India.

    You have hope for the girl you met 6 months ago and do nofap to be ready for her, that´s great!
    Maybe this is your only chance for a while, so you really need to be ready.

    For the case that you two will not have a relationship: Probably it is hard for you to do, but maybe you can move to another country then.
     
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  17. I always tought in India your parents will choose your future girlfriend in excange for an Elephant or something.(no offense)
     
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  18. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    I don't think moving to another country would be necessary. Things are 'cooler' in some urban parts of North India. I'd have better luck there for sex comparatively there, but as for marriages, yeah, it's gonna be hard, because 'arranged marriage' is a real thing in our country, be it North / South India. As for the girl, I've been friends with her for 11 years. Only last year we got talking about what if we had sex, and things escalated and now it's complicated our relationship which is why she isn't talking right now. But I know she'd be back in a few months, because we've had a few fights before too , where we'd go 'afk' for a few months and then cozy up to each other after a while. And it's not just about me getting laid, I actually love her now, so I'd let her know my position when she's back.
     
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  19. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    You're right for the most part except the 'elephants'. You think elephants are a common pet here like dogs / cats? You only find elephants in *some* temples, because it's considered a sacred animal. You are right about arranged marriages and the 'dowry' system, where the girl's side offers some money or a gift to the boy's side. But it's not an universal rule. It was an old tradition, which is still relatively common now, but a lot of people don't do that anymore, especially if it's a 'love marriage'.
     
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  20. Dan84

    Dan84 Fapstronaut

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    I am so glad to have come across this thread. I'm 33 and have suffered from What I know truly believe is porn induced DE and performance issues my entire sexual adult life. My very first experience with vaginal sex was at age 17, and it did not end in orgasm. It left me with *excrutiating* blue balls that I believe to have been the cause of physical damage (varicocele). Since then, ive had similar performance issues on following encounters on top of newly acquired performance anxiety stemming from not finishing my first time. Things seemed to have taken a turn about 5 or so years ago when I got into a serious relationship and was finally able to finish somewhat consistently but after the break up 2 years ago, finishing was a hit or miss (mostly miss). Now it's messing with my head again I'm sure and I'm back to not being able to complete, and even not feeling aroused enough (which has made it hard to get or maintain an erection). I had been watching porn and masturbating for a very long time, and I tenacity of the porn having increased to real hardcore stuff and different genres to where I wasn't satisfied with natural sex anymore. I've even gotten hookers and been involved with dom's. I am really hoping all the positive reviews I've read from nofap will help me finally rewrite my brain.
     
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