Deleting the home made porn

Today I completed an important step in my recovery from engaging in PMO rather than real world sex and sexual acts. I deleted all of the videos and photos of a sexual nature that my wife and I have made over the course of our relationship. The only cause to grieve the loss of these images would be if I was to grieve masturbating to them on my own. I can recreate any and all of these acts and experiences with my wife. I have no need to look back at what we have done before and make it into a masturbatory aid for me alone. Sure, the images are exciting but they function in precisely the same way as P, only with the added elements of emotional connection with the woman depicted. Ibwant to relive the experiences that we captured together, not the experiences that I had while alone with these images. It feels like I am letting go of something I had no cause to keep hold of, and I feel better for it.

I am interested in hearing other experiences/thoughts on home made porn. I am sure my wife and I will exchange images again in future if we need to be apart for a while, to engage in mutual masturbation, a mutually beneficial and intumate sexual behaviour, however I will not be keeping any such images for the lonely PMO type solo fapping that I have used them for in the past.

Sex >>pmo

 

It sucks that you feel that way. Without knowing more about your situation I'm not exactly in a position to offer advice, but I will say this: The fact that you lived through those moments together means that you will always have those memories and that history together. Holding onto digital representations of the moments is not going to help you maintain or strengthen your connection with your wife, or return to the levels of passion and intimacy depicted there. I know that I would rather have my wife than those old photographs, and for me it has helped to refocus my sexual impulses and desires more wholly on her, and on real world experiences with her, rather than solo acts of masturbatory body worship. Deleting the collection, and sharing this decision with your wife, may help her to feel more valued than your previous pmo lifestyle. She will also not have to worry that you are grieving the loss of her youth and good looks etc etc, helping her self-esteem that way.

As you said, it is a difficult decision, but the above is worth considering. If letting go of your collection might help strengthen your relationship and make your wife feel more valued, it is worth doing.

Good luck in your nofap journey, and the best of luck for you and your wife in repairing and improving your relationship.