So, I've been PMOing for 6 years now and relapsing every 3 days for 2 years now. My brain is numb, cant feel any emotions or motivation. Decision making power is gone too, for eg I know spending lots of money on cabs and food delivery is waste and I need money for some important aspects in my life but I still can't stop. I keep laying on my bed sometimes quit work and do nothing. I want to get in shape but cant, no motivation. I AM VERY NUMB my friends. All sorts of physical and mental weakness I have now because of PMO. No one respects me even though I'm tall and good built. I am always frustrated and depressed. No sense of urgency I know what is important but I can't take any actions IDK why. Please guide me is this normal ? What should I do now even if i keep relapsing every 3 days. What to do ? i wanna live happily again but I'm so numb.