Depression and a Hard Relapse

For Fapstronauts who are disciples of Christ

  1. RebootingProtestant

    RebootingProtestant Fapstronaut

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    After going a little while, I have been able to decrease my numbers to not more than 1 or 2 times per month. (the goal is obviously 0 times per month) However, the last 4 days have been so rough for me, as I've been caught in a rut of failure. The last 4 days I did it all the way and I feel awful... I know that each time the Lord has forgiven me, but I cannot help but feel the deep guilt and shame for my actions. I do not feel I am worthy or strong enough to undertake this challenge at times, and recently, I've started to feel my long time depression coming back. I apologize if this sounds like whining but I really don't know where else to go. I am really trying my best out here but it is so difficult to keep a positive outlook when I'm seemingly surrounded by my own failure. Life is hard right now and please just pray that if the Lord tarries ad allows me to continue this difficult season,that He will give me the strength to endure.
     
  2. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    Your focus seems to be completely on yourself. That will always lead to problems. What you desire is not inside of you. Why not look someplace else?

    You feel guilt and shame and depression. Left to your own devices, that is about the best that can be expected. We are such weak, shallow things on our own.

    But that is not how Jesus sees us. Who does he say you are?

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E4LA9dy0UpFrsjxKPNn8W6-jMRULfSwqD5voB5O5xg4/edit

    Why not meditate on these truths from Scripture and stop soaking your brain in the lies of the enemy? Abide in Jesus and his truth, and he *will* abide in you. Cut yourself off from the Vine, and you can truly do nothing! (John 15)

    Who are your APs that you talk to every single day? What counsel do they have for you in this moment in your life?
     
  3. RebootingProtestant

    RebootingProtestant Fapstronaut

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    I don't have any accountability partners. My counsel is my church and sermons I listen to, but this is admittedly inadequate and I should change this.
     
  4. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    We cannot do this alone. Checking in with APs every single day for the past 14 months has been a tremendous boost to my recovery and growth in Christ during that period. This site is a great place to meet and interact with APs safely as you get to know them and build up trust. And building that trust with others in this very personal area of our lives is a great way to learn how to build that trust with God himself, too. If we do not trust him, we will not give our lives to him. If we do not give him everything, we will find we have very little indeed.

    If I can ever serve in this capacity, please let me know.
     

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