Depression is taking over..

My depression period went on for around a month. I also had similar symptoms (and some even worse) but since I didn't manage to meet an interesting girl, it luckily went away one day on it's own. So, in my experience, unless you meet whatever your goal is, all you can do is be patient.

Cardio and gaining muscle mass don't go together. General rule when you're aiming at muscle bulk gains is increasing the weight while reducing the repetitions on every set. Personally I would suggest not going for that since it will make you slower and less flexible. Try other systems like TRX or other group activities (that go for about an hour using weights or kettle-bells) where you get less pumped yet you have more stamina and is less likely to get fat.

 

First, in the vast majority of cases, depression is environmentally driven. Depression itself is a long term state of sadness that's induced by the poor environment you live in; it is a signal your body sends to your brain that something in the environment is hurting you, in most cases emotional stuff. It could be other people, family, friends, or it could be work, school itself etc.

As much as possible try to change the environment, even for a short period of time. Take two weeks off and go somewhere remote, where you can recharge your batteries. No distractions like big cities, because you'll feel under societal pressure to do stuff there; your friends will say "geez mate you went there and didn't see this and that?!" - that will make you feel horrible. I recharge my batteries by going for long walks in the forests and my next strategy is to volunteer at a monastery for several weeks.

You have a limiting belief that I believe it's not helping you much. Why do you think you need a girl? Answer as honestly as possible. Is it because that's what society expects from you? Is it because you feel lonely and bored? If it's from society, then quit social media asap. If it's because you feel lonely, then deal with this feeling (https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/a-primer-on-dealing-with-negative-emotions.235876). Would you like to have a girl that comes to you because she feels lonely or because she genuinely loves listening to you and doing things with you? So don't look for a girl just because you feel lonely, as you'll become needy in the relationship and that will put a lot of strain on her.

And take it slow, no one will dislike you for not gaining muscle. Is this is another limiting belief, that you don't look good enough to catch a girl?

A girl will come around when she'll see you as a self-reliant individual that she can also rely on. She doesn't want you as a child (you're already someone else's child), she will want children with you. It's not about luck, not about having muscles, but about looking and being healthy (i.e. confidence).

 

Do you enjoy training / fitness / working out / nutrition or is it just a means to a goal (in which that goal is just a means to another goal)?

The reason I ask is because most people don't enjoy what they do in life. They don't like solving the problems. They don't like staying with the pain and negative experiences long enough to get to the pleasure, solutions, and positive experiences. That's a completion mindset where they try to get to the finish line as quick as possible. Rather than a growth mindset where you enjoy the process.

Life's problems will never stop. You have to choose the problems you find interesting to solve. There's no completion until you're dead. Living with a completion mindset really made my life horrible because all I was doing was pushing and pushing until I reach the finish line where everything is easy without problems (I was basically trying to reach the absolute peace that is death).

Find something that you enjoy doing for the process of it. Not for the end goal. Ironically, the enjoyment of the process is the best state to be in to reach those end goals.

In my experience, what got me out of depression was expression. Depression to me was more of being suppressed / repressed / keeping things inside and going deeper into the emptiness which was me. This is why people get drunk or get high so that they can feel free enough to express themselves more (and blame it on the alcohol / drug). It's basically a way to conserve energy and to protect yourself from the outside world. A way for you to say and do very little and stay very safe. A way to hide deeper and deeper into yourself. The opposite of that would be to use more energy. To feel your emotions more. Emotion = energy in motion. Might be different for others, but this is how I got over mine.

Find something you enjoy doing for the sake of doing it (not completing it) and express yourself intensely with through it.

 

Subb my fellow fapstronaut !
This is nothing you need to think to much about, it is a part of the progress !
What i did was to try find something you like to do that is NOT PMO.
What ever it is that can keep you away from PMO. Videogame, nature, running, or whatever you want to do.
And on thing that helps me get back on my feet is cold shower, yes it sucks but it is also shown that it can help agains depression and for me it does. Get's me head straight and get thise endorphens going !

If you feel like writing to me in hard times ! Just give me a PM and we can talk ! Been thru a hard time this week aswell, Almost slipped back !

Keep it up ! You don't need porn in you life and you deserve to find a peace of mind !

 

Hi,

It is really a Situation that sucks. Incan understand your feeling. Good that you are honest and open about it.

You did good 15 days. Nice. Doing sporta, respect, finding a girl against loneliness.

You are working on yourself but not giving in. That is a good sign.

Maybe you can visit a doctor? Maybe something in you body is missing?