Well Orjoon, I am feeling for you and your predicament, I would like to offer my help I really would. I too feel like I could do with some science based approach to all the depression I get from years of PMO, only I have already had depression from other causes which meant psychiatrists and spells in hospital and finally coming off medication and getting a job. I had a lot of isues in the past, I hated my Dad, for example to the point where at school I would buffer the pain, with sports, with porn mags, with drink, then later drugs and finally a serious psychiatric illness. But the thing that got to me the most was depression and I have had it twice in my life. It is horrible but the form I got was manageable if you treat it scientifically and have a conviction to beat it. The second time I felt like I was going to be in hell, because I watched porn online just having met and had two really nice dates with someone for the first time in years, I really felt I had blown the very last chance I had in life and felt the moment hit me walking down the street, and that was eleven years ago and since then I have been trying and eventually succeeding to stop online PMO but at the same time I have been succeeding with treating myself using daylight. I found out about a light box and started during winter to grab a coffee and look out of the corner of my eyes at the weak sun through some cloud for twenty minute spells two or three times a week. In effect I gave myself a dopamine boost, but the conviction I got from doing it was better than years of therapy from doctors, or their pills, or from the natural world, or family. It sounds a bit wacky, well it probably is. But then after a few years I found that I was enjoying reading again. That made a big difference because although I was watching internet porn and feeling guilty and damaging my relationships as well, I would feel something for books and stories, beyond what I had felt all the years I was succeeding with friends and going on cool trips and things. Novels especially, and just a couple of years ago, having tried and almost succeeded learning a language (Turkish), having had a great job and then lost it and having made a clean break with my girlfriend after having tried and tried at it, I have found a way to preserve and not lose this love of reading. I have succeeded and quit porn, quite recently from doing this, the light therapy, the reading kindles and also having tried to sleep when it gets dark and wake when it gets light and in the long winter nights to read by kindle, in the dark, every day. I really mean I want to help because I have taken it really slow giving up porn and actually I am not triggered and I am in mo way in need of religion. I do chant because that is something I was taught to do. But years ago I also had the courage to telly people about my porn problems, I told my boss and then quit, I told my parents and even my Buddhist members and friends, then I moved on. But the reading is what has kept me going and really it is a joy to relate to someone about this, because I am otherwise pretty lonely and only just beginning to walk the path to success, well into my fifties, now, so go well. I feel for you and I am with you if you need to talk. Good luck!
