Desperate and need your opinion

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by johnnybgoode, Aug 16, 2019.

  1. johnnybgoode

    johnnybgoode Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys..

    I'm really frustrated..

    I started my first NoPMO challenge 60 days ago. Already went through flatline, morning wood is back.

    Since a couple of days I started for the first time seriously going into Tinder.. had a couple of Matches and Likes and two days ago I felt like I found the greatest woman so far.. feel like we have a lot of common, since she's really into same kind of music, nature and also religion. After first chat in the evening she already asked me if we want to see us. I told her I got some stuff to do but I will find some time this week. Next day after lunch time, because I felt like its good somehow, I offered her whether she wants to show me a mountain in her area or we go for dinner or both. She told me something about being really tired somehow, tomorrow she wants to go for a run in another city, maybe Saturday evening. I just texted: Good, fine. Let me know if it fits for you.

    I know this is probably just in my mind, but I felt already since this point she will not go back to me and I'm really frustrated again.

    Only way which makes me feel better this days to not give a shit about anyone or anything, but its really really hard for me since I'm really alone inside and I SOO need to express me and especially my body energy. I was even looking into some cuddling groups, but after considering it seriously and reading some report of a young girl going there, I decided thats nothing for me or I'm not desperate enough for it. Instead I was starting Tinder.

    So now my problem is:
    1.) I don't want to break my 90 Day PMO challenge.
    2.) I so need to have body contact with a woman.
    3.) Having a good orgasm would release me, at least for the moment.

    So I say to myself, try keeping it up, try to find good Tinder matches, and if nothing works out the next 30 days till challenge "ended" I'm going to see a prostitute for a hour.

    I don't know if this is the right decision, because I would prefer getting a girl by myself, and not paying for "love", but I so need some other body to lower my pain. I have IBS and my symptoms went away for over a day for the first time, when I did cuddle with a buddy a lot (we made Jin-Jitsu fighting class together).

    What do you think? I would kind of motivate me to keep going, at least for the next month. I don't want to see ever porn again, I would love not needing to fap, but I need some womens body and warmness.

    I'm really not in a good shape right now, my mind is talking a lot, so I know its even confusing for me, but better I'll text something here then going to relapse.
     
  2. bluemax4

    bluemax4 Fapstronaut

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    Don't relapse. Remember why you started this journey, and how crap you will feel if you do. Just get out for a bit and clear your head.
     
    Ajikan, Coffee Candy and johnnybgoode like this.
  3. johnnybgoode

    johnnybgoode Fapstronaut

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    Thanks dude.. But like I quoted Eminem in my signature, success is my only option, so I will not give up my challenge. But I also know it can take more then 90 days to heal and I don't know if I can last that longer.
     
    bluemax4 likes this.
  4. BigCatTunski

    BigCatTunski Fapstronaut

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    They always say “streaks were meant to be broken,” but in this case, you can’t break the streak you’re on. You need a distraction of some sort to get your mind off of it before you slip. It’s tough, believe me, but you got this. We believe in you.
     
    johnnybgoode likes this.
  5. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    This is all I have to say to you today:
     
    johnnybgoode likes this.
  6. johnnybgoode

    johnnybgoode Fapstronaut

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    Thanks dude! I needed exactly this.
     
  7. bluemax4

    bluemax4 Fapstronaut

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    Stop worrying about the days just concentrate on conquering this one and improving in anyway you can . Let tomorrow worry about tomorrow.
     
    johnnybgoode and Coffee Candy like this.

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