Desperation

I'm sick of "falling in love" with random girls. When a pretty girl looks at me, I wonder what she thought about me. I worry about my looks in that moment, my posture, etc. Sometimes, I walk so she can see me again. It is sickening. In bars, restaurants... when I see a beautiful girl I imagine a entire story where we know each other and she becomes the girl of my dreams. I imagine an entire relationship with her. Come on, she is just a random girl.
Of course I never approach her. My fantasy is that she will magically smile to me or some shit, and make the first move. Of course it never happens, but in reality I don't want it to happen, deep inside me. It is just pure romantic fantasy...
In public transport I always hope that a girl sits next to me. When it happens, my heart starts beating faster, and the stories come to my mind again. I feel like I'm going to have a romantic adventure with every girl I see or talks to me. This is NOT normal. Did anyone have been in the same situation? Can I get out of this?

I've been thinking the same way since 15 years old, when I first fell in love. It was such a strong experience, and It has marked me forever. I feel like this way of thinking is draining away my life.

 

I am doing NoFap. I am 20. I had gotten to 120 days once, but never again. I hope that what you are saying is true, but this way of seeing girls comes from the past, and it hasn't gone.

 

Thank you man... you gave me hope. I will continue on this path with your advice. I'm tired of my current lifestyle...
Hope you're doing great!