Hello. I came here because idk what to do anymore. I will share my entire story so you understand. I was addiced to porn from early age like 11. I was heavily bullied on elementary school so it kinda helped to it. I hated every second there. On high school in sertain way it sucks to but I will get to it later. I suffered from PIED, ED and HOCD so my nofap journey began at start of this year when I realized what the hell Im doing with my life. (Even until now I would not call it living but that besided the point) At that time I was so disgusted by porn that It was kinda easy to stop PMO and MO. My first streak was 180days. I went through all stages I would say, If it comes to benefits I would say I finaly started to feel more benefits after 90days until that it was only more energy and no brain fog. Than I MOed once idk know why. Until now my streaks are small. Biggest one from 180day streak is 2 months but I still at that time didnt have any carvings or anything but now its bad. Im back to porn carvings and mo carvings. Im going to gym all of that but one of the reasons why I think I do this is because I still have no friends at all. All people (my age) around my totally different I mean they drink a lot and because I have epilepsy I can not drink at all and go to parties because I would not be able to stay long awake + I kinda dont want to because I have nothing to say to them. People are social beings and I have no friends at all I tried so many times to have them and I was nice to them everything but everytime when we were walking somewhere there was such a quietness and I was the only one who tried to have some conversation I mean I have few good frineds but all of them are to far to just go outside (150km+ away) after school. I have only friend but when It comes to social interaction he is even worse then me and I mean a lot. I tried to help him to get better at this but he is like that. Thing that is not helping is having tons off school things to do. Now because Im not even having time for anything Im again going for dopamine. I was a long time thinking about going to therapist because there are more things I need to adress In my life. Sometimes I wake up in night from really bad nightmare last time I had so bad nightmare than I couldnt sleep for nother 20min. Depression come after even one time I had panic attack when I was coming at morning to school. (thx to Bojack I knew what to do ). Im actually more afraid to go on date than having a relationship with girl. I think I would be amazing boyfrined. I really want someone to share my life with. Maybe the reason why Im also sliping so easy is because of lack of experience because that first 180days were "easy" dont take me wrong Its always hard but I had it "easy" because my motivation and how much I was disgusted by porn was so strong. So i bassicly didnt go through what everyone else go through. If you read this until the end congrats you didnt die from boredom.