---DESTRUCTION 2 REDEMPTION---

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by driveplusgrace, Mar 10, 2016.

  1. DAY 4 NO PMO. I know it to be worth it. I'm in my mid 30's and I think I started M around 9 and P about 11. I had no clue its destructive and addictive power. No doubt its caused me to be single to this day and I've had no trouble attracting girls, I just lose interest after a time. I realize clearly the source of this. I know there is so much more. I've been beat up spiritually the past year and I'm taking a stand. This forum will be a pillar to the new house I'm seeking to build, daily disciplines another part and trusting in my creator to be the foundation. The person who spends a life with P&M habitually is subject to many other sins as well. I realize it affects every aspect of life, ones ability to love, focus, care for others, and connect with God. Years back I had a season of heavy grace where Gods hand was upon me in power. There was no struggle with P or M. I find myself in a new season where the grace is still there, but I'm being grown in discipline. A disciplined lifestyle leads to a life of freedom, whereas a lifestyle of bondage leads only to more traps, setbacks, discouragement and more bondage. I'm sick of the latter, and I'm hear to ditch P for good, ditch M for good, and use whats been given to me to please my future wife the way she deserves and to create children who will go on to change this world for the better. Most certainly I will teach them about these things so they arent just thrown into the lions den with no warning like I was. I blame nobody but myself, but some healthy instruction would have been nice. So thankful to be here, I spend the afternoon at a Cafe reading threads, so much wisdom! Looking forward to a life of freedom!
     
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  2. Welcome servant of the Daddy. Be blessed. Come join us in Groups Christians if that connects with you. Welcome to your journey. We'll join you for awhile and encourage you from time to time. This is not a simple journey you embark on but it is possible to climb out of this pit we have allowed are selves to fall into. Be light be blessed. No that the Father of all the great I AM cares for you.

    Just noticed start your journal in the forum under your age. That will keep the forums cleaner.

    You got this welcome aboard.
     
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  3. Thanks for the encouragment! God is already moving! I saw "ice cold showers" on your profile thing as I was waiting for the water to get hot in the shower. Yeah, for the first time, no hot water! I take it as a prophetic sign that God is already moving. Forcing me to take a cold shower, haha. He has a sense of humor indeed :)
     
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  4. So I start a new forum for my main journal? This is just for intros then?
     
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  5. Yup welcome you are in the right place.
     
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  6. Read the flairs. Study the journals follow folks who have stories that connect with you. Lift every tool you can find. Don't try to will power your way through this. [Secret] Don't fight urges. Breath intentionally, quick prayer then acknowledge I have an urge. Then get after where is this coming from. Why do I crave something that I have rejected for my life. Don't say I can't m or p. Say I used to be that guy, own it. But say I do not do that any longer. Then let it pass.

    The urge will float on down the river. There are tricks that can make the urge weaker. There are tricks that can keep the fight further from your door. But the key is to not fight and not try to power your way through it.

    Add some spiritual, mental and emotional discipline and challenges to your fight and you'll own this. Welcome.
     
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  7. DAY 5 NO PMO! FEELING CLEAR, FEELING DETERMINED! Yesterday was a good day of FREEDOM! I've fallen to watching P about 5 times this year and enough is enough. Quitting P should be easy as I've done it before, but quitting M is the demon I want to destroy. And as I've said I do believe there is a demonic stronghold attached to my old habit, and like many say IT NEEDS TO BE STARVED. As I also know, it needs to then be cast out. There is a reason many go for so long and then fall. For many its just old habits and the flesh, but for some, certainly those called to ministry, it could be a demonic influence. Its no coincidence that once I declare I'm stopping M forever I start having dreams where im M. I never have those dreams! If I do have a sexual dream its usually with women and even that is rare. This AM right before I woke up I was dreaming that I was M. When I woke up I was actually thinking I did it and its over already. My big push for purity and its over just like that? Nope, not gonna fall for it. MANY TIMES in the past the devil has implanted lust in my dreams that will manifest in the natural the next day. There is some type of supernatural influence that He has over a yielded vessel, and one yielding to M or P is under the devils grip in that area, even if they are Christian. This is why so may believers are here. We sometimes talk like if you have God everything will be fine, but no. When we sin, we yield ourselves to darkness. No more will I be set apart for Gods work in 90% of my life and leave that other 10% to darkness. NO MORE DEVIL. Praise God. Praise God!

     
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  8. Theres a better life thank most people know. We are the ones hungry to seek and find that life!
    "The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy, I have come so that you may have life and life abundantly"
     
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  9. DAY 5 NO PMO :) Today was a breeze, but I know not to let my guard down. The urge to M when it comes is always a surprise. For me it is often a demonic temptation. I think I usually know the difference, and if I'm wrong I probably error on the side of thinking its me when it was demonically inspired. The "superpowers" thing is already happening and I tell you what, ITS NOT superpowers. Its the devil trying to use other people to get you to lust because He doesnt want to lose his grip on your life. The superpowers I do believe in are the increased focus and all that, probably because of chemicals and perhaps in cases less oppression from the devil. A girl that I've been physically attracted to for about a year messaged me out of nowhere this AM. At the gym there are 12 treadmills in a line, only one was in use, the one I was on. One of the most attractive girls I've seen at this gym picks the one right next to me. Wasnt tempted with lust, but I used the boost of testosterone to run faster and longer haha. I found myself looking to God instead of looking at women today, Its SOO refreshing. What bondage that many men (me included) get into analyzing almost every girl that goes by. I'm learning again to see women as Gods children whom He took a lot of thought to make each one unique. They arent pieces of meat, they are his daughters. And if I want to love God, I must treat his daughters with the utmost respect. Day 5 coming to a complete. I'm going to pray more for my sleep since I know the enemy will try to get my in my dreams, He fights like a weakling attacking people in their sleep.
     
  10. I love this video, so great watching the Holy Spirit at work! I want to honor my body as a temple!


     
  11. Day 6 no PMO - Yesterday I got slammed with a head cold or something which is very rare, but I'm not gonna let it get me down! 6 days has been fairly easy with a few struggles here and there. I was reading a journal yesterday and this lady was going into some graphic detail of sexual acts, I quickly left that page and thought "I'm not ruining my 5 day streak" Today is my rest day so I'm probably going to stay home and straighten up the house then catch up on some reading and studying. On of my personal disciplines that I want to get better in is meditation. I don't do well sitting still for long periods of time unless i'm on the computer or something with high imput . I quit watching TV in 2008 and video games way before that so I'm thankful that I do not have those crutches. I'm quite into personal development so I'm excited to be here on nofap because it looks like many others are as well! I want to learn Spanish, memorize a lot of scripture, gain some new hobbies, and lose the last 10 lbs I need to lose. Not that a 6 pack is necessary in this life, but why not gain the discipline and just do so? Eating lots of raw veggies along with all the other means is what seems to work for me. I'll be home most of the day today so I'll check in here to keep focused and not relapse. I'm not afraid of going back to P ever, I'm pretty sure thats history for good.
     
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  12. I read a lot of journals today. One thing that I've learned in my own life and from the lives of many others is that a relapse usually happens so unexpectedly. I believe firmly that sometimes the enemy gives us a false sense of security for a time, in order to have us let our guards down. Whether you think there is a devil or demons or its just your "inner evil side" it is truth. The thing thats got me here to journal and for accountability and wisdom is the experience that happend less than a week ago. An urge came, I easily won and said no and it went away. 5 minutes later I was doing the act. Perhaps my situation is unique because I believe the devil wants to take me out of ministry. If the devil were smart (and i know he is) he'd focus most of his energy on people doing Gods work. He'd still mess with everyone because he's a jerk, but it would make a lot of sense for Him to manipulate peopel who have the power of God into sin. I've seen many miracles and have been used for many miracles since I gave my life over to God. I've seen too much to go back, but my decision hasnt gone untested. I left my career of 11 years (20 year retirement) and sold my house to do Gods work. And He has blessed that so much, He truly is my provider. Somewhere along the line I became accepting of a once in a while slip when it came to P. In my 7 years of walking with God i've had only a few seasons where it became an issue at all. But with M, I've never conquered it. I'd like to say if you have God you'll just always win, but we know thats not the case. If we take the devil and all the other evil in this world out of the picture that'd be the case. The truth is that we all have free will. IF AND WHEN AN URGE COMES IT MUST BE CONSIDERED AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO DEMONSTRATE OUR LOVE TO GOD OVER OUR LOVE OF SIN. Perhaps God will NOT remove the temptation, but in his infinite wisdom allow them to remain so that we may choose to love Him over pleasure. Perhaps it is not resisting evil that we need to be better at, but loving God. Well, not perhaps, that is the case :) But this does not mean we dont use wisdom and wisdom says to put in place as many guideposts as possible. Lets attack this demon from 10 different angles. Praise God for this site as one of those.
     
  13. Day 7 No P no M no O
    As a newbie here I feel like I'm still excited for the motivation. It would be nice if my love for God would be enough to keep me away from M for life, but I guess in that area I need to be more fully convinced that he wants me to quit M forever. P is gone forever, it has to. But so many doctors and most people today say that M is "healthy" and although I dont want to believe it, its engrained itself into my head. Even my first pastor back in 2008 when i first gave my life over to God said " I dont know if its possible for a man to go without some type of release" I think differently now, but I want to be more sure. 7 days of no M is probably the longest I've gone in over a year and only because now I'm being purposeful. Before I was just "trying not to" There was no focus, now I've got focus because other people are doing it. Although I feel most people are doing it to have a better life, while I am doing it because I know God hates sin. Although I am forgiven of all my sins, I dont want to test the boundaries of Gods grace. I think that is a dangerous place to be.

    But anyways today I feel pretty good. 1 minor urge in the shower, easily resisted. But like I said before I believe the enemy gives us minor temptations and lets us overcome easily to give us a false sense of security. Then when we let our guard down he comes in with the big guns. I'm curious to see how this all unfolds because I cant say that ever in my life I've tried really wage war on masturbation. Now that I know others are doing it, I'm encouraged because I know its possible. And if 90 days is possible, why not 180, and if 180 is possible why not 1000 days, why not a lifetime? Urges can be an opportunity to engage the good, instead of engaging the pleasure of self. Hedonism is the love of pleasure, I believe some of that hides itself inside of Christianity. Perhaps this is why God exercises wisdom the way He pours out his Spirit. Some of the most supernatural experiences I've had on this earth have been with the Holy Spirit. Perhaps I'll share some of my encounters in the future :) One things for sure, holiness He loves.
     
  14. Saturdaze

    Saturdaze Fapstronaut

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    You might want to check out Yourbrainonporn.com. I have found that this is both a spiritual and physical battle. We have trained our brains to demand dopamine and now we need to bewire them so that it doesn't crave it. Some of the videos on YBOP were really helpful as they helped me to understand what my brain is doing and what some of the withdrawal symptoms are and how long them last.
     
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  15. Being in the war was enlightening. Many folks started there streaks at the same time. So 100's of folks were going through the same emotions and experiences of withdrawal at similar times. It was eary. 300 to 400 folks all experiecing the same remorse. You can dig through the nofapwar sub on reddit. Look at day 1 through day 40. So many of the posts show folks going through the exact same things.
     
  16. Thanks for the advice! I will check it out for sure. I think my brain was demanding that dop today. I had an easy day, a busy day. After getting home I went to take a shower mostly for the steam to help my sinuses as I'm finishing a 2 day cold. My body definitely wanted that dope. It was like a switch flipped on and something said "you'll give me what I want" Exactly 7 days ago I stopped M. It was extremely difficult to finish the shower and get some clothes on. That was my biggest success ever when it comes to saying no to M. Realizing that the battle is more difficult than I had realized and will need all the wisdom I can get. Thank you!
     

  17. What is:nofapwar sub on reddit? I keep hearing reddit and I dont know what it is. Thanks! I need to read up more, I just had a close call with M out of nowhere. Success! I'd like to say it was because of my love for God, but that alone seemed to fail me. I'd always hear a voice that said something like "God doesnt mind and its natural, you've gone so long and its not P, and you can do it without even thinking lustfully" That voice always caused me to give in. But since I'm on here now, I have accountability and I want to get free, to never M again. Then I'm wondering how this will all play out when I get married? Is a switch gonna flip on and I'll be a new war?
     
  18. YEAH I MADE IT PAST 1 WEEK! :D I am realizing that I'm gonna need this community to keep going. Not planning to relapse, if I got through todays temptation I can do it again. I need this accountability. Thank you!
     
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  19. Howdee friend be blessed tonight. You are an inspiration to many. I'll answer some q's in the morning. Night
     
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  20. Had some sexual dreams on and off last night. Not gonna let it get to me, although some of the pictures flash in my mind randomly. Makes me mad at the enemy because when I'm awake I quickly take those thoughts captive and discard them. Dreams are dreams, but in my experience the devil has used dreams to make me fall the next day. I've become too accustomed to this though by now and will not fall for it. Today is day 8, perhaps the longest I've gone without M in years. I'm guessing I went around 30-45 days when I was 18 at bootcamp. They kept us so controlled, but I remember doing the deed in the a bathroom stall a few times in 13 weeks. So just for records I'll stay that after 40 days I'll be the longest streak in 25 years since I was 9. 40 days is symbolically the number of testing so we'll see how it goes :) Heres a hint: I win! Praise God, He wants that with me.
     

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