Hello everyone. I’m a 30 year old guy from the UK struggling with PIED. Decided to write my thoughts down to summarise how I’m currently feeling. Maybe people will read it, maybe they won’t, but either way I’m hoping that by putting it out there this will make me more accountable and might even be therapeutic. I’ve tried to write this in a way that won’t cause triggers but sorry in advance if I have. My main issue is PIED. I’ve suffered from it for as long as I can remember and it’s caused me to have a really unhealthy relationship with sex. I didn’t have a clue what it even was until last year when I found this site and read stories from other guys suffering with the exact same thing. I always assumed my issues with ED were a nerves related issues or even a physiological issue, but I was always confused why I never had this issue when alone or when watching porn. For me, I think this started with my first few sexual encounters. The fist time I was ever intimate with someone I could get hard but not stay hard. Nothing much happened and it quickly came to an end, without the happy ending. When I lost my virginity at 19 I had the same issues. I struggled to maintain an erection and my partner wasn’t very sympathetic and pretty much laughed about it in-front of me. But I managed to get the job done. After that I had several similar encounters with similar results, and I think this has just made me go deeper and deeper into my porn addiction as I feel it’s the only place i can get some satisfaction. As I mentioned before, at the time I attributed the ED to nerves or even a problem with my body, but I now realise this is all related to porn. I’ve been watching porn since I was about 12, and like many other users have said it’s got worse and worse over time, both in terms of how much I’m using it and the stuff that I’m watching. These days I’m looking for really dark and kinky stuff before I’m satisfied. Sex these days sex is really difficult as I’m so deep into my addiction and PIED. I find myself getting really anxious if I feel things are going to get intimate, not because I actually feel nervous about being intimate but because I know I’m not going to be able to perform. This has lead to me only hooking up after drinking alcohol, so if the little guy doesn’t wake up I just blame it on the effects of alcohol. I don’t actually drink a lot by the way. These occasions are very rare. So this pretty much where I am now. I originally joined this site last year and lasted about 3 weeks before relapsing and not logging back in. This time round I’m determined to kick the habit. I might turn this into a bit of a diary / journal if people would be interested. I find reading success stories on here really helps. Does anyone know of any other good resources out there? My main goal here is to cure my PIED and to be able to have sex without getting anxious that I won’t be able to perform. Stay strong!