New Start

Hi everyone,

Long time reader, first time poster here. A bit about myself - like almost everyone here here, I’ve been struggling with porn for a long time. I’ve been watching porn since I was in primary school and have been doing PMO excessively since. The only times it’s been manageable is when I’ve been in relationships. I’ve been single for years now and my addiction has been getting progressively worse and now it’s completely out of control.

Over the past year especially, I’ve been looking at more and more extreme material where I don’t think anything could phase me anymore. I don’t recognise what I’ve become and I feel a deep amount of shame where I’ve begun to even question my sexuality at times. Key traits that are keeping me addicted to porn are ruining my relationships and other parts of my life as well - including not being in control of my emotions, giving into impulses, not having enough resilience and generally being a weak person. I feel like I’ve gone down a rabbit hole that’s going to take a hell of a climb to get out.

I’ve recognised I can’t do this alone, which is what I’ve been trying to do for awhile, so I’m reaching out and hoping to learn from other people here and offer support where I can as well. Im determined to change my life around. At nearly 30, I can’t keep living the way I have been, otherwise I’m setting myself up for a life of frustration, disappointment, loneliness and regret.

I’m determined to become the best version of myself that I can be. I’ve been taking steps to improve my life recently and feel like I’ve made a lot of progress in a relatively short amount of time which I’m proud of but porn remains the ball and chain that’s continuing to hold me back in key areas. I’m glad I’m finally a part of this community and look forward to starting my journey of being free from PMO. Today is day 0, I’m looking forward to day 1, this journey and improving my life.

Thanks everyone!

 

Thanks @newleaf426 - appreciate that! Day 1 done

 

Thanks @One Eyed Owl! Day 2 done.

Spent most of today just clearing out my room and re-organising everything. Not what I originally planned but feel a lot better knowing my space is clean, clear and organised properly again. Definitely helps when I’m working from home and I’m here all day.