Diary! Dose is work?

For Fapstronauts who are disciples of Christ

  1. You've solidly established a new habit. Well done! Now, keep taking the steps that lead to life each and every day. One day at a time is how we get through. You are an encouragement to me!
     
  2. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    How?!

    I look at your counter and i can t imagine if i will be there some day...
     
  3. I see Christ being formed in you day by day. I see your faithfulness growing and strengthening. How can I not be encouraged by God at work in a human heart? It is the most amazing miracle, and it is one we have the unique privilege of participating in on forums like this one each and every day. Sure, God is good, but sometimes his abundance is just ridiculous and makes me burst out laughing. There is no other God like him! :)

    Don't pay too much attention to the length of anyone's streak. I only keep my counter active as a way to let folks know that it is possible to have victory over this and that we can reach a new norm in Christ. But the truth is that we are all on the same day in our recovery from sin: TODAY. That is the only day that matters. It is the only one we control. It is on this day we must choose whom we will serve. I hope you will join me today in denying sin and self and choosing Christ!
     
    ndaty likes this.
  4. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    All i can say is Thank You, this means a lot to me!
     
    Tao Jones likes this.
  5. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 63: Success! (barely)

    It has been rough last two days, almost relapsed... I feel that slowly i m slipping away :(
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2021
  6. What would be causing this after over 60 days of freedom? What is making you "slip away"? PMO and lust are not in control; you are. You get to decide how to respond to every temptation. Nothing can take you out of God's hand except for your own choice to turn away. But, after experiencing his goodness and freedom and peace, why would you want to?
     
  7. The enemy knows that you are in the verge of giving up PMO for God and he has to stop you. Lean on the Lord, his way is so much better.
     
    Tao Jones likes this.
  8. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 64: Success!

    Loneliness and frustration because of loneliness. It did not bother me before when i was PMO, but now is something new for me (kind of).
     
    Myfortress likes this.
  9. Just keep focused on the truth: PMO makes us even more lonely and works to cut us off from having real human connection and relationship. Only by getting and staying free from PMO can we create the necessary space in our hearts to let others in and develop the skills needed to love them.
     
    Lost Hope and Myfortress like this.
  10. You have to learn to handle negative emotions without PMO. This is key.
     
    Lost Hope and Tao Jones like this.
  11. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 66: Success!

    Weekend again, go to say focused... Nothing new so far, i managed to get over the strong cravings i had a few days ago, but now is weekend and i m worried that they will come back, but so far i m ok.
     
  12. Urges come and go. We never need to obey them. They are not our Master. We already have one of those, and his Way is far better than any urge to sin!
     
    Myfortress likes this.
  13. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 67: Success! ( barely, i was >| |< this close to relapse)

    This was hardest day on this streak, i don t know how i managed to pull through... I peeked a few times at some anime images, nothing to explicit (kind of)...
    I never fought so hard with the temptation, urges... i was praying so i can pass the day and not finish what i started. I was angry, disappointed, frustrated, etc.. that i allowed myself to slip into taking a peek.
    I had to do something, i went to the fridge i stared to binge eating (Is bad to use one sin to stay away from another?), it helped for a while, but after a few hours i peeked again...

    My landlord wants to install the flooring in my apartment for some time but he doesn t have the time, and i said i will do it. He agreed, and i will get a pass on rent if i will do it. So i was busy for a few hours, i did not finish installing it, but hey free rent is free rent. No PMO+no rent, its a win/win for me!

    What helped the most, was the reason why i want to get free from P, i was trying keep in my mind the reason why i m fighting for.

    I m still frustrated that i allowed myself to listen to urges, is getting harder and harder to fight some times... I even had some stupid thoughts on giving up, that was the urges talking to me. If i relapse one day, i m aware that i will give up, at least for while because of the disappointment and frustration i will have...
    Pray for me so i will not do it, i came to far to give up now. Onward!
     
    Vir likes this.
  14. Vir

    Vir Fapstronaut

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    Praying for you, man! There is success after where you are! Keep hanging on! It feels so good to not be back in the old addictions. Keep reaching out!!!
     
  15. By "peeking," you are keeping lust alive in your heart. Imagine your boat is sinking, filled with water (P). You are bailing out that water at a furious pace to keep the boat afloat. Meanwhile, at the back of the boat, there is a little hole drilled in the side that keeps letting water back in. This is what "peeking" is -- the little hole in your heart that keeps letting lust come in. If you keep this up, you will indeed fall. It is inevitable.

    The only way we get free and stay free is to kill lust in our hearts. It cannot be allowed to live on the table scraps of P-subs and ogling that we feed it after we get away from P. You are doing well, but the fight will remain difficult if you continue to sabotage your efforts in this way. Commit to doing whatever it takes to remain free of lustful glances and acting on the impulse to peek.

    Freedom will cost us something; it is always worth it. Onward!
     
    Better Man Today and Myfortress like this.
  16. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    I know, i m not proud of what i have done or what i was about to do :( . In war, you cannot win every battle, i was losing ground in that battle, but i managed to push back before it was to late. I managed to "plug the hole" for now, i m aware that it will leak again someday, maybe faster if i m not vigilant.

    Loneliness is the main issue for my "slip", i desire human connection, "physical connection" with someone, i was drowning all this emotions in PMO to get rid of them in the past. I m not and will not allow myself to go to prostitutes, escorts, etc...
    Its very hard to fight this addiction alone, i m young, i have to satisfy the "needs" somehow. I m not proud of what i said, is awkward tbh, but i was trying to make a point.

    I keep repeating myself like a broken record :" Why is so hard to get rid of this addiction?!, i got rid of so many addictions so far". Since i started this streak, i found the answer: Loneliness.
    At 100 days, if i get there, maybe i will start talk with the girls that have their eyes on me, but now i know that i m not ready.
     
  17. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 68: Success!

    No problems so far, looks like i m back on the road.
     
    Myfortress likes this.
  18. Be sure to remember the truth: PMO is not a physical connection with another human being and it reduces our capacity for actual intimacy. If you want connection with another, the very worst thing you can do is engage in PMO.
     
    Myfortress likes this.
  19. Lost Hope

    Lost Hope Fapstronaut

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    Day 69: Not sure....

    Again i peeked at some hanime bs, this time even more, the urges were/are to strong, I don t know what to say or what to do anymore, is like nightmare, i m on the verge relapsing or giving up for now.

    I don t know how to take this day, relapse/slip up? Some strong advice is required, i never got this far and i don t know what to do.
     
  20. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    In your heart, you know what to do. Humans are too weak to rely on our willpower against temptations of lust. We cannot expose ourselves to tempting images and expect not to fall at some point. Equally, we cannot maintain even that bit of discipline without prayer from the heart. Fervent prayer begging for God's grace to inspire us to continue the struggle.

    Pray the prayers we have been given like the Our Father, Glory Be and the Hail Mary but also compose your own prayers using the A.C.T.S. acronym (you can google it). Pray and keep praying until you feel the temptations abate. Pray again when the temptations return. Twenty seconds of prayer won't be enough but equally, you probably don't need 2 hours of it (although that would bring even more grace).

    Armed with this grace, make a plan to deal with temptation when you know you will be weak. Put your phone out of convenient reach during these times. Go where you can be with others if possible.

    In short, avoid temptation at all cost and pray from your heart for inspiring grace. In time, your strength will build and temptations will be no stronger than a puff of air.
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2021
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