Did porn make me transgender?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by darthren, Mar 10, 2016.

  1. darthren

    darthren Fapstronaut

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    I never felt transgender growing up. I never even thought about it. After a decade of porn I've fantasized of being the girls performing sexual acts. Sometimes I feel feminine around guys in real life and it freaks me out. I hate much life right now and I don't know how much more misery I can take before I finish it. I hope I can go back to my old self but I think it's too late for me.
     
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  2. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    What you describe is really no where being near a transgender experience. I have the feeling that you are feeling more a masochistic role, where you can have another male be as dominant over you even, putting you in a feminized position, treating you like a girl and making you feel that, right?

    It's somewhat akin to male bullies (in real life perhaps) putting you down and humiliating you in real life, making you swallow their lies that you are a pathetic piece of sh*t perhaps and nothing but a f*g. Then, even years later, you keep playing those same abusive tapes in your own mind, sexualizing the abuse even, "swallowing" the lies all over again - and what is a better sexual symbol of swallowing a male bullies lies and humiliation than servicing his organ orally or otherwise.

    BTW, all that same repressed story is great fodder for PMO addiction as well.

    Sound possible?
     
  3. darthren

    darthren Fapstronaut

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    Sort of I guess. It started when I would watch sissy porn and ever since then I fear I might be gay or trans even know I hate feeling this way. FYI I have nothing against gay and transgender people as I don't see anything wrong with it as long as they are happy. I just don't want to be that. I'm scared that it could be possible. The thoughts are there and I have to constantly prove to myself that all of it isn't real and I obsess over it everyday.
     
  4. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    Of course, watching P, the mind absorbs all the images and conceives all the possibilities, perhaps, when the usual fantasies become old. Probably if you recover from P, the twisted feelings will naturally subside.
     
  5. BobDobbs

    BobDobbs Fapstronaut

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    I have also fantasized about being a woman, and what sex would be like from that side, and being able to obtain sex easily.

    But that is nowhere near the feeling that transgender people have, the feeling that they would actually be more comfortable as a woman. Gender identity is only barely related to sexual attraction or desires.
     
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  6. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    I also fantasized about that, thinking about how much of a H*e I would be if a was a woman...

    Watching porn makes most of us "curious" of weird types of porn. some will become "bi-curious"!

    Most uf us wandered into dark alleys of porn, where hardcore porn became the vanilla stuff, and COOLIDGE effect made us seek other thrills.
    By looking at the enormous collections of online porn, and the huge amount of "specialties" or "niches", we're all lucky that we aren't all stuck with tentacle porn fetish!

    Beware of COOLIDGE, its a nasty effect that make us seek the next porn fantasy. It's normal that most PMO'er wandered from theme to theme.

    There is also something weird that happens when you watch transgendered person or bi stuff ..there is a weird attraction/disgust that occurs, but with a curiosity, very strange blend...like that weird feeling when you are on top of something high and the stupid thought of jumping shows up in your mind...you're like WTF idea is THAT! I did stay away from that stuff....it was by curiosity that I looked.

    But I watched a lot of other fetish stuff.

    I'm glad I stopped, I'm in quite the flatline right now. And my ballzies are hurting just a little...
     
  7. Porn warps your desires so I'd say there's a strong possibility. The best chance to find the answer is to undergo a healthy reboot. You mentioned feeling feminine - there's a very real chance that it can be down to damaged androgen receptors inhibiting your body from using testosterone efficiently. PMO could very well be the cause so stop it.
     
  8. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    If we ran an honest survey about the depths our porn viewing sunk too I think no one would believe it as for me it was like I feel so wrong watching that but that was also its appeal.

    Domination. Humiliation. Bullying. Forced bisexuality. Its not that abnormal.
     
  9. Kent

    Kent Fapstronaut

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    If porn rewires the brain I guess it is quite scary what it could do over a prolonged time. That's way I am determined to reboot, stay strong and be true to who I am.
     
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  10. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    And why I am glad if I do this it will get better
     
  11. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    It's NEVER too late brother!!! Just FIGHT for you life!!! I myself with you in this battle!!!
     
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  12. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    Man you have described EXACTLY my feelings/situation now!!!
     
  13. LemonFresh

    LemonFresh Fapstronaut

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    Sissy porn is a powerful drug, withdrawal symptoms may be difficult to handle but you will feel better in the long run. I know you will find this hard to believe but accepting that it is ok if you were transgender and that anyone could turn transgender will actually help you get through the reboot, that in combination with mindfulness and OCD thought management. I will probably get burnt to the stake for suggesting this but consider allowing yourself to fap in moderation to normal straight thoughts for a while if you can, while going cold turkey on porn.
     
  14. darthren

    darthren Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed again but I've realized that if I make it a big deal it'll bother me but if I don't it's whatever. Does this happen for anyone else?
     
  15. Robert de Castella

    Robert de Castella Fapstronaut

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    And I've found it completely disappears when P taken out of the equation
     
  16. stopthebuzz

    stopthebuzz Fapstronaut

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    I have been P, MO, and PMO free for 60+ days, but with spring in the air and nearly 3 weeks without an orgasm, my desires to dress have become so overwhelming. This is my true battle now!
     
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  17. LemonFresh

    LemonFresh Fapstronaut

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    For many this fetish in particular works by feeding on your shame, humiliation and other negative emotions. When you beat yourself up about it you make it worse. If you let go of shame, accept those thoughts (acceptance does not mean indulgence) and allow them to just come and go then you will have a much easier time. You will get better at this by practicing mindfulness meditation.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2016
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  18. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    Great advice on last post. I've recently been advised to love any slip that happens and not to give it any power or feel bad for it. Own it and admit it and be honest but do not give it any power to make me feel bad or shameful. I used to feel dreadful after slipping and became frightened to admit it. Then that morphed into shame and feeling bad about lying especially when people praised me for doing well that it fuelled the next slip.

    Think about what you are trying to stop doing and see you it may not happen overnight.
     
  19. darthren

    darthren Fapstronaut

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    I'm obsessing about anything in the past that might indicate I'm trans. Reading stories about how trans people knew they were transgender are making me feel like I've been lying to myself this whole time. I'm literally going crazy. I hate my life
     
  20. LemonFresh

    LemonFresh Fapstronaut

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    This is the worse thing you can do lol. Listen to some relaxing music, beautiful instrumental music or better yet meditate.
     

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