Did you feel more aroused by thinking of women or by being with women?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by ultrafabber, Mar 14, 2020.

Did you feel more aroused by thinking of women or by being with women?

  1. I got more aroused thinking about women or looking at pictures

    16 vote(s)
  2. I got more aroused having real sex

    9 vote(s)
  1. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

    I am wondering if the PMO problem isn't also a problem of habituation to imaginary arousal as opposed to arousal from a real scemario. I noticed in myself that i aroused much more in imaginary situations like thinking about sex or looking at pictures of women than i get when actually being with them.

    I do get physiological arousal like erections but i don't get that pleasant, warm feeling that i get when fantasizing.
  2. FailingForward

    FailingForward Fapstronaut

    my guess would be your sexual preference has changed which happen when there is a overindulgence in porn. your mind just does not like the same ol pair of titties so it needs something along with those pair of titties to keep you going. you need to hit a 90 day reboot and you will be able to distinguish between physical and imagination
  3. Anakin66

    Anakin66 Fapstronaut

    Real sex is the real deal, beats virtual sex anyday. No pun intended.
  4. You want to be with an idea and not a person. Some people on the other hand get aroused with the person and pics /or fantasy doesn't do anything. Different folks, different lives. :)
  5. Well put it this way I hadn't had sex in a while , and was watching porn all the time , eventually it led me to the crazy sex unicorn that is shemale porn , it's the only thing that really turns me on any more in porn and I thought I am well and truly fucked . But on occasion when I am in close proximity with a gorgeous women I find myself beginning to get turned on. Not I'm a creepy rapey way lol. But if it happens it happens you just get turned on .

    So for me my current long lasting dry spell has led me to shemale porn overriding my arousal from female porn, but on occasion as I say, my sexuality finds a way through .

    Quit porn and find a girlfriend youl be alright
    VanGuy likes this.
  6. Sargiel

    Sargiel Fapstronaut

    I understand what you mean about porn / imagery creating a response to a kind of abstraction from the present/reality. One piece of advise would be don't turn to fetish thoughts etc. during a sexual encounter - just be in the now.
  7. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

    Yes this is what i mean. In essence being aroused when not actually feeling a woman with your parts of body vs being aroused when you actually feel her.

    It appears that in my case and i expect in manu others, we wired to get aroused not feeling, so when we feel we autonatically dont get aroused because we have the complete opposite.
  8. Prince6543

    Prince6543 Fapstronaut

    In my case it's a little opposite. I have a foot fetish . So I don't get aroused fantasizing about women but I do get hard when I am sitting beside a woman in a public transport, school or cinema. Just the feeling of being with a woman makes me really aroused. STRANGE.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

    I'm transitioning. I've been stuck in PMO most of my adult life but am finally fighting my way out of it. When I was in 7th grade there was this girl in my class with big boobs and I'd I'd spring a woody every time I sat next to her. Fast forward many many years and I am just now getting back to that point again. I.e. where I get stirrings down below being close to or talking to an attractive real life woman vs looking at a screen or fantasizing with my hand on my gear. It's weird to be functioning that way again, but feels great!
    VanGuy and Deleted Account like this.
  10. I am doing psychotherapy with a professional sex therapist who has seen hundreds of men suffering from sex addiction. When I told her that, like you, I got more turned on from the contemplation of acting out sexually than from actually doing it, which left me feeling dirty and ashamed, she told me that my reaction is typical. Most of her clients preferred the "chase" to the "capture," which is why they would indulge in the chase over and over again with different women rather than bonding and forming a relationship with one that they had already been with. So your preference for fantasy over reality seems to be normal, at least for sex addicted men.
    VanGuy and Sargiel like this.
  11. QuiggyG

    QuiggyG Fapstronaut

    Real sex arousal would be great if I didn't have PIED....I don't think it will ever heal, plus I smoke a lot and we all know what tobacco can do to your body.
  12. Der Drachenkönig

    Der Drachenkönig Fapstronaut

    I shall be entirely honest. I got more aroused by looking at pictures of women, or of anime girls/women rather than by the prospect of the real thing, i did reach said levels.
    I was so used to the artificial that the prospect of real sex, which i've never had never really appealed to me, my only two attempts being extremely uncomfortable for me, this was more than a decade ago.
    This even extended to the only relationship i had, which was a long distance one over the internet with a girl in another country, it did not work out due to stagnation in large part due to distance, and even then it took me a while to even have sexual thought about said partner.
    QuiggyG likes this.

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