did you have this epiphany ?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by shedernatinus, Feb 5, 2020.

Tags:
  1. shedernatinus

    shedernatinus Fapstronaut

    222
    171
    43
    You don't need to hate yourself because of it, If my family didn't talk to me about how messed up this is I might as well have been addicted. But thank god I listened to my mother, I seriously think this couple might have some twisted and toxic relationship to post something that is so intimate at a public platform, I guess they do that to support their drug addictions without following anyone's rules or something along those lines.
    Just abstain from this and fight the fueling for this hellish industry, there is more to life than this immoral and misogynistic dystopia
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2020
    hubbawulf1234 likes this.
  2. beyondPeterPan

    beyondPeterPan Fapstronaut

    48
    36
    18
    More claims with zero support. Do you label everything that goes against your personal dogma "pseudo-science"?

    I'm a man recovering from porn addiction commenting on a thread about men recovering from porn addiction... how much more relevant could my personal experience be?

    This is a classic ad hominem. Your personal beliefs about my character have no relevance to our discussion.

    "those sick forum members"? I see how you feel about our community.

    None of this is of any consequence to our discussion.

    We are talking about women's progress now? I didn't realize we changed topics.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    @shedernatinus You didn't actually respond to anything I said. Your entire post was either opinion or logical fallacy. Changing the subject, attacking my character, reciting your personal rhetoric... it appears this discussion is over.
     
  3. beyondPeterPan

    beyondPeterPan Fapstronaut

    48
    36
    18
    "I don't care about your statistics or science, I'm right because I believe I'm right and I don't have to prove it. Oh, and please shape your worldview and lifestyle around what I say."

    Don't waste your time @Metis07
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2020
    Metis07 likes this.
  4. shedernatinus

    shedernatinus Fapstronaut

    222
    171
    43
    lol I thought this conversation was over !!!
    And for your great misery we are all here to share our dun dun dun OPINIONS
     
  5. red gyarados

    red gyarados Fapstronaut

    129
    101
    43
    Why don’t you ask my coworker who spent $17k during the custody battle and ran out of money before he could have his day in court?

    this was after he tried to get a vasectomy and get turned away by 30 different providers.
     
    Metis07 likes this.
  6. shedernatinus

    shedernatinus Fapstronaut

    222
    171
    43
    yeah this is such an unfortunate fate, the only way for us to solve this problem is by exaggerating it's using it to outshine many people who suffered way more than this and make them take the blame, this is genius !
    By the way, I won't try to shame any good father who loves his children and wants to spend time with them. I just think this is revolting that you are using that to prove that women didn't pay a great price is those phallocentric societies, child support or child custody can't compare to rape or harassment or sick sexual violence, if you think those can be equated with any of the problems the majority of men deal with, you must be trying to lie to yourself.
    It's such a loss that many good men are out shined by "dudes" like you, really this coworker doesn't deserve to be around a manipulative person like you.
    Look for all the women who suffered from egoistical men , either by murder or by harassment or by rape or even by the porn industry, any sane person will think your "female supremacy" issue is nothing but pure delusion.
    I really wish I could swap places with one of those men your little friends mentioned in their statistics anytime than deal with any of the hate and discrimination I have to face until I am old.
    I wish to fight for custody for the rest of my life than have to face the eyes of "dudes" and "bros" who look at me like a piece of meat every time they see me, some are old enough to be in a retirement home.
    I wish to be from the gender having the higher suicide rates than from the gender having the higher murder and sexual violence victims rates.
    I wish that the first image I have received into sexuality wasn't from a porn site where women are always spit on and degraded while the comments are all over "how she was asking for it".
    I wish I had the access to all the high positions men can achieve without putting every time in my life into convincing people than my gender has nothing to do with my competence.
    I really wish misogynists didn't have to justify their hate toward women, and how women should stay at home and cook for their almighty husbands with the lamest and dumbest excuse ever conceived "that's how men are".
    I wish young boys who were molested by older women didn't receive the same disgusting answer "wow he's lucky".
    So please if any of you wish to have my "privilege" I am ready to trade anytime with you.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2020
  7. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

    454
    160
    43
    You likened sissy porn to misogyny. I even said that I can see why the findommes can see it that way however they DO believe in female supremacy and the law allows these women to take advantage of men with a very dangerous behavioural addiction.
     
    Optimum Fortitude and Metis07 like this.
  8. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

    135
    179
    43
    May I answer instead?
    @fedmom you are just horrible human being :D
     
  9. hubbawulf1234

    hubbawulf1234 Fapstronaut

    289
    302
    63
    I wasn't going to enter this shit show. But here it goes...

    The issue here is that we as men come here because we have a problem. The problem affects our world, relationships, jobs, finances, etc. But the attitude you brought seems to be "Yeah you have it bad but...." I'm not going to argue against the merits of what you're saying. You're correct women get treated like shit world wide. The issue, for me, is when there's a legitimate male problem it's met with the attitude of "yeah that's 'bad' but...."

    Middle age white men are killing themselves and no one is asking why. In the US it's identity politics at is worst. Middle aged white men killing themselves isn't seen as a problem, but as a solution.
     
  10. shedernatinus

    shedernatinus Fapstronaut

    222
    171
    43
    anyone who tries to groom someone into associating sexuality with submission is a sick person who deserves harsh punishment , and no you are not a horrible human being, and sex is not about lowering yourself and giving up on your value as a human so another person might compensate their lack of self esteem. I hope one day you might find peace.
    Sex is not about one's supremacy over the other, it's about sharing a connection and enjoying the moment.
     
  11. henryhill

    henryhill Fapstronaut

    181
    445
    63
    This is part of what’s been puzzling me about this thread. I didn’t know we were in a competition to see who has it worse. Obviously women have been treated horribly and it is inexcusable and I hope those who have raped, murdered, abused get their recompense for such atrocities (I usually don’t hope for god’s punishment on someone but I do in this case). But most women I know have not had these things happened to them which I am so grateful for.

    Can I as a man not also be a victim? Am I to blame for being sucked into a porn habit before I hit puberty? Whose fault is it? And most importantly for me, who can do something about it?

    I do honestly appreciate the OP’s questions and I do think they have merit. But with where this thread has gone I’m not sure of the intention. What is the ultimate goal of this thread?
     
  12. Thank you.

    By the way a lot of women I know also watch pornography (looking back, all my exes used to watch it even if they didn't want to admit it but well the web history doesn't lie (didn't intentionally look at their history)) several whom I talked to about the problem of porn don't even understand why it's a problem and think I'm some conservative freak.

    Women watching porn is something I didn't want to acknowledge for most of my life (which fueled my extreme shame), because it didn't validate my view of women (I was raised by a radical feminist so I was raised to be this very docile, nice boy always respectful of women (to a point I didn't respect myself) even towards those women who didn't respect me (a woman is always right, a man is always a pig, type of brainwashing)) but it's a fact I eventually was able to accept.

    Anyway it doesn't change the fact that I misbehaved for 15+ years of my life (my addiction started when I was still a child) and I think the porn industry is evil and that our society is now almost completely pornified and that everyone has a share of responsibility for it. Men and women.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2020
    henryhill likes this.
  13. shedernatinus

    shedernatinus Fapstronaut

    222
    171
    43
    These women have no idea what they are contributing to, I think they must have some weird vision of themselves to enjoy watching one of them suffer terribly, Your mother was only trying to protect you from becoming a hateful misogynist, and she probably loved you enough to try and shield you from all this toxic misogyny and hate, but It's sad that some women use pornography.
    Those exes probably saw porn as a "liberating" and "cool" thing, but it's very likely they were addicted too.
    The fact that someone associates sex which is meant to bring both partners equal happiness and no bad feelings with an industry that destroys lives everyday is beyond my sense of logic.
     
  14. What I was trying to explain is that there is feminism and feminism. I believe today's feminism is very harmful towards men because all it does is shame them. Men are nowadays lost. They lost their purpose. Even my therapist (a woman) told me that I'm not alone and that there are many many male patients of hers who feel completely lost in today's society. And they suffer a great deal. I have suffered a great deal, feeling so lost and ashamed of being a man.

    I van't stress enough: it's not "some women" who watch porn. It's a LOT of them. If that is of interest to you, you can look at scientific studies and data studies on Google I'm sure you will find plenty of stuff there to satisfy your curiosity. It's absolutely frightening. Porn is not a male only problem any more. Women are almost just as involved in it as men today. The main difference being that women don't have to have an erection in order to be able to perform and so they aren't affected by PIED. But yes I have to acknowledge that they don't really get the same tyle of crazy compulsions to watch that most men do.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2020
    Metis07 likes this.
  15. The thing is porn harms men and women. It harms the women who get trapped in the industry. It harms a lot of users (like us) who got trapped into this addiction most of us as children and now are struggling mentally with things like anxiety, shame, OCD, depression as well as physical things like erectyle dysfunction.

    It's not fun for the women and it's not fun for the men either. I don't know if you can imagine how it feels and what it does mentally to a man in his 20s to be impotent. It's traumatic.
     
    Metis07 and henryhill like this.
  16. henryhill

    henryhill Fapstronaut

    181
    445
    63
    Personally and anecdotally it seems that most people don’t use porn and sex interchangeably. Porn use was like using a drug whereas sex was actually to have connection, etc.

    Like in my (messed up probably) brain they are so different I can’t even compare them. My wife could never understand this but alas this is how it feels for me and others I’ve met. Not saying that reflects the general population but I think that’s probably how it is for a lot of porn addicts.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  17. hubbawulf1234

    hubbawulf1234 Fapstronaut

    289
    302
    63
    Agreed. On the one hand we have toxic masculinity as the problem. On the other if you bring up a male problem the response is toughen up and deal with it, others have it worse.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  18. hubbawulf1234

    hubbawulf1234 Fapstronaut

    289
    302
    63
    But that is a product of the feminist movement of America and the free love of that era. Sex was liberating. This is just the bastard child of that.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  19. shedernatinus

    shedernatinus Fapstronaut

    222
    171
    43
    I don't think potency can be equated with the heavily traumatic experiences a lot of women and some men experience in this industry, but I do think that psychological pain can be compared to that.
    If you really want to fight porn culture you shouldn't put your potency on a pedestal , you should see all the woman and young girls who are , like you said, trapped in the industry, while many other have lost all hope in the male half of humanity. Many young boys are also tricked by pedophiles into posting explicit photos of themselves doing something sexual, and it's sad, very very sad. If you told all the anti-porn activists(including feminists) that losing your potency is traumatic, you will be seen that you are quitting only for the sake of some personal benefits.
    I don't think I will be able to trust any man in my life, in the back of my mind there will always be doubt lingering and telling me that I'm a fool for trusting this said man. Before becoming radfem I never considered any man to be a monster, but life and my experiences and many other women's experiences all over the world taught me otherwise. I don't think I'm completely delusional and lunatic for putting my own safety first before worrying about some man's potency.
    The reason I was against pornography for such a long time is a humanist and feminist reason, humanism and feminism are compatible and even If I might seem as a man-hater to many people I will never harm a man who respects my own humanity and value my femininity , in fact I will think this man is a true hero !
     
  20. hubbawulf1234

    hubbawulf1234 Fapstronaut

    289
    302
    63
    So I'm confused...why are you here?
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.

Share This Page