Difficulty

My porn addiction caused me to cheat on partners. I got my ex love of 4 years pregnant, she wanted to keep the child as it was maybe the only chance she would get to have one due to a complication. Once I found out I pressed her until she got rid of the baby, which was at the last moment and I'm sure a horrible abortion.

The real reason I needed her to get rid of it was because I was seeing a new girl, who I'd also previously got pregnant. There's no condoms in porn you see, so why should I wear them I thought. Acting without consequence.

The new girl who I'm still with doesn't know I got the ex pregnant and she was close to having the child which would have torn any relationship between us apart. The truth is I don't particularly want a relationship with the new girl.

Depression is here, my mental state worsens as in private I regularly snap at myself. There is a way out, but I can't seem to find the discipline. The courage to tell the truth.

 

I'm a troubled soul. My actions over the past few years have left me open.

I'm searching for peace and worth. I want to reach out and apologise to those I have harmed.

Never meant to hurt anyone