Disappointed to have slid back. Here to get back on the horse

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by anewhope, Aug 25, 2019.

  1. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Here a while ago and managed to kick the habit for a long time.
    Have recently given in to the urges and reformed those destructive patterns of behaviour.

    Here again to set the counter back to zero, start again and be the man I should be and the man my wife deserves.

    ANH
     
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  2. Butterfly1988

    Butterfly1988 Fapstronaut

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  3. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Thank you!
     
  4. CocaCole

    CocaCole New Fapstronaut

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    I had tried for several years against the bad habit, it's really hard, but you're doing the right thing. So man up and keep fighting
     
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  5. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Agree entirely that replacing bad habits with good ones is the key. But I do also find the counter helps!

    ANH
     
  6. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    First , I’m sorry to see you back for this reason only . I used to enjoy reading your posts . I hope all is well for you otherwise. Can I ask if you shared this with your wife ? You know the usual questions but I’m going to ask anyways . Did something “happen” to put you back on the destructive path ? What could you have done differently?
     
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  7. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    Sorry for the reason but glad to see you again. You are a missed person around here.
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2019
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  8. All the best - stay strong.
     
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  9. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Thank you to everyone who has, with understandable mixed feelings, welcomed me back. Your support means a lot.
    Other than my stupidity and weakness everything is really good in my life. My wife and I are very close and since she got through menopause her libido has gone through the roof! Which is great! We are making love more than we have done for thirty years!

    I kicked the habit once with your support and I know I can do it again.

    2 days clean - feels like I was heading over the cliff but have slammed the brakes on and am starting to slow down. Now just need to make sure I stop, turn around and climb back up.

    Thanks again to all of you lovely people for helping to make me stronger.

    ANH
     
  10. Um, Welcome Back?! :(

    Glad you are here, again .. for yourself and for all of us.
     
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  11. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    This really is a w!onderful place. Already up to 4 days clean and feeling much better. Confident that with your collective support I can return to a good place.

    ANH
     
  12. We are all here for each other.
     
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  13. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    A week ago I was fighting the urges and consistently losing.
    Now with your support, I am fighting the urges and winning.
    To be clear, the urges are still there and the battle is far from over but I am in a much better place than I was.
    Looking forward to one week becoming two.
    Thank you all

    ANH
     
  14. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    Good to hear !
     
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  15. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Another week's good progress and overcame a severe test (trigger warning)

    :) I have made it to 12 days and feeling very good about it. My approach to the reboot is no PMO (obviously), no M, but continuing to make love with my beloved wife.

    So late last night my wife and I made love. It was passionate and wonderful. As she has got older, she tends to take longer to reach orgasm, which is fine by me because we get to make love for longer! What it tends to mean is that, after a while, we both focus on her body together until she climaxes. Last night after her orgasm, she relaxed into a little melted heap in my arms and we cuddled up naked and very happy. Because we'd been focussing on her, I hadn't come. In her sleepy, floppy state, she offered to do something for me, but horny though I was, I didn't want to drag her out of her blissful post-organic state,, so I told her just to relax and we'd just go to sleep cuddled up. Which we did.

    I get up early in the mornings while my wife and daughter sleep in. So my challenge this morning was plenty of time alone on the computer, still horny and with my mind full of memories of last night's love-making. But I'm proud to say that I have resisted temptation and stayed on the straight and narrow.

    ANH
     
  16. Sadgirl

    Sadgirl Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    Hey @anewhope <3 I am happy/sad to see you back! Do you have insights into your relapse? Does your wife know?
     
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  17. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Hi Sadgirl

    Happy/Sad to see you are still here! As before I am treating my battle as a private one and not involving my wife other than sharing the benefits with her of having a better husband. Main reason for relapse I think was just too many opportunities and porn always being one click away. You can resist temptation 999 times and give in just once and before you know it you're hooked again. But feeling very positive now and enjoying the freedom, time, sense of well-being and absence of shame that being porn-free gives me.

    ANH
     
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  18. Sadgirl

    Sadgirl Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    I always love your positivity <3 And now that you know how to slay the beast you can do it again. Wishing you continued sobriety Friend !
     
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  19. PaulPaul

    PaulPaul Fapstronaut

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    A relapse, yes, but also an opportunity to strengthen your aversion of p. Be kind to yourself, say NO to p and YES to good things and good people. You did it before, you can do it again!
     
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  20. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Another week under the belt and excellent evidence of progress. (Major trigger warning).

    My wife and I enjoy many different ways of making love, but one of my wife's favourite ways has always been through PIV with her also using a vibrator on her clitoris. She also loves it on the rare occasions we climax simultaneously this way. As I mentioned, since the menopause, it takes her noticeably longer to reach orgasm, often needing twenty or thirty minutes of focused stimulation. At 60, retaining control and a solid erection for that long is a challenge for me, and any porn use rekindles the PIED and makes it out of the question.

    On Friday night, my wife made it clear she wanted me inside her and sliding steadily in and out. I was extremely horny and penetrated her easily. She was unhurried, enjoying the intimacy, but eventually reached for her vibrator. I was concerned that I would not be able to keep inside her for long enough but I am happy to say that twenty minutes later when she climaxed I was still rock hard and thrusting and as a bonus we came together and collapsed in a soggy contented tangle of limbs.

    It is amazing what a month free of porn can do!!
    Now I just have to make sure there is no backsliding!!

    ANH
     
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