Disappointed to have slid back. Here to get back on the horse

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by anewhope, Aug 25, 2019.

  1. The Legend of Hope

    The Legend of Hope Fapstronaut

    I see you are a man of hope as well
     
    mrtumnus and vxlccm like this.
  2. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Very strong urges this morning. And plenty of time alone. Will keep hands to myself and go for a cuddle with my wife as soon as she is awake. Must stay strong.

    ANH
     
    Wugazi32, kropo82, vxlccm and 2 others like this.
  3. hope4healing

    hope4healing Fapstronaut

    Hope you remain strong in your fight. You've done it before, and although I know it isn't easy, you can do it this time, too. Think of the great rewards. :emoji_thumbsup:
     
    anewhope and vxlccm like this.
  4. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Thank you! The support I get here makes a huge difference.
    ANH
     
    vxlccm and hope4healing like this.
  5. vxlccm

    vxlccm Fapstronaut

    It helps us all to know we're in this together. Good job.
     
    hope4healing and anewhope like this.
  6. Wugazi32

    Wugazi32 Fapstronaut

    256
    315
    63

    Amazing story! Hope me and my wife are still having good sex at that age! (We're in our 30s now!)

    What's sex like as you get to 60? Really curious...
     
  7. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    I can only go my own experience, but I can honestly say that it is the best it has been the whole of our lives. My wife's libido has gone through the roof since she came out of menopause and she has also lost her inhibitions. In other words, she feels hornier and justs asks me to do exactly what she feels like. As a result we are making love more often, in more imaginative ways and both having the time of our lives. Being very close and very much in love means that we communicate without embarrassment and good communication is the key to most things.

    ANH
     
    kropo82, budvap, Wugazi32 and 3 others like this.
  8. Wugazi32

    Wugazi32 Fapstronaut

    256
    315
    63

    Thanks for this! Always been curious, after 3 kids and now she is 31 (I'm 34) my wife and I have more sex than ever, partly due to me not fapping I think, but I still find myself with the higher sex drive by quite a margin (I always initiate) but she thinks she may be in stages of early menopause (I've heard there is such a thing?!) This gives me hope that she may one day be the roaring sexual tiger she was at 21 all over again hehe.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2019
  9. Carmichael85250

    Carmichael85250 Fapstronaut

    10
    23
    3
    I find this a great thread and very "judgment free". You give me hope.
     
    anewhope, hope4healing and vxlccm like this.
  10. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

    1,696
    3,778
    143
    If you want the full story, read his original journal.
     
    anewhope, kropo82 and hope4healing like this.
  11. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Not quite out of the woods. I guess you never are as an addict. Minor relapses the last two days. Have reset counter to give myself a kick up the ass. Wish I always could live up to the way I want to be. :(

    ANH
     
    vxlccm likes this.
  12. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Thank you. That is a great thing to hear. As suggested, the next time you have some time to kill, you could read my original thread.
     
    vxlccm and hope4healing like this.
  13. hope4healing

    hope4healing Fapstronaut

    Hi @anewhope , just wondering how everything is going for you? Hope you're doing well.
     
    vxlccm likes this.
  14. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Hi
    Thanks for the message. Yes things are going pretty well. My wife and I are in a very good place now: feeling very close physically and emotionally. Still have days when the urge to visit some porn site pops out of nowhere but I am doing my best to resist.

    ANH
     
    vxlccm and hope4healing like this.
  15. vxlccm

    vxlccm Fapstronaut

    Looks like you're poised to start next year off on a strong foot. Keep up the great work!
     
  16. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Just checking in. I hope things are going well @anewhope
     
    vxlccm and hope4healing like this.
  17. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Sorry for the delay in replying. Yes everything in my life is very good just now. My wife and I are enjoying our best physical and emotional intimacy. I am just finishing writing chapter 28 out of 31 in my second novel and my new job is more interesting and better paid than my last one. Porn is still clinging on as an influence in my life though, despite my attempts to stamp on its grasping little fingers...

    New Year's Resolution - 2002 to be 100% porn free.

    (Porn free, as free as the wind blows
    As free as the grass grows
    Porn free to follow your heart)

    Merry Christmas Kropo82!

    ANH
     
    hope4healing and kropo82 like this.
  18. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Though obviously I wish I could go back in time and beat my addiction 18 years ago, what I actually meant was 2020 is going to be 100% porn free!!
     
    Sadgirl and kropo82 like this.
  19. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    The following are three things I have done in the last week. Two of them are the real me and one is the result of my porn addition:

    1. Knowing my wife was getting stressed about how much there was still to do before Christmas, I got up early and spent more than three hours cleaning the house from top to bottom so that when she woke up, the place was spotless and completely ready for the visitors we were expecting. She was so pleased and relieved she burst into tears.
    2. When we made love I focussed solely on her needs. Even though I am submissive by nature, I know she likes it when I am 'in charge' so I acted out the dominant role, doing things to her I knew she'd like because I'd like them done to me! I already know all the things her body likes best so by combining those with the dom/sub role-play I took her to places she hadn't been before. At the end when I let her come, she collapsed in a soggy heap and breathed 'that was awesome.'
    3. Last night, alone in the house for two hours, I wasted the whole time browsing femdom porn.

    Two of the experiences left me feeling full of love for my wife and that perhaps that I was being the husband she deserves. The third left me feeling shame, guilt and self-loathing.

    So, for hopefully the last time, I am hereby quitting porn and devoting my energies, my heart and my soul to being the best man and the best husband I can be.

    ANH
     
    Sadgirl and hope4healing like this.
  20. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    Hi all

    A better few days. The public declaration I made in the post above seems to have given me extra determination and pushed the urges away again. Feeling more confident that I can win this battle. Checking in to NoFap regularly seems to help stiffen my resolve (and just my resolve ;)).

    Happy New Year to you all. May you all take inspiration from the new decade and achieve progress in your relationships and your personal struggles.

    ANH
     
    marr708 and kropo82 like this.

Share This Page