Discipline to beat Porn addiction [30 DAYS].

Homo sapien.

Homo sapien.

Fapstronaut
In the name of Almighty, the most Beneficent and the most Merciful.

Purpose​

I face the problem of overthinking and mind unrest that stems from my insecurities.
I believe when I fail to push myself in terms of my Primary activities which include, Study, health, relation with parents, unmet-commitments and much...

It is a thread dedicated to Discipline tracking. Discipline is very crucial element that holds our 'willpower' when it comes to pushing our selves against the pitfalls, emotional trauma, challenges and PMO wise matters. So, here is a way to maintain our mental wellbeing.

You are welcomed to share valuable insights and motivations.
May the talks i do here or my attempts may bring fruitful outcomes.

Perspective​

Primary Discipline: Wake-UP and Sleep on time. [ Early to bed to early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise ] + Tooth brush + Quran Recitation.
Secondary Discipline: Attending schools during all the working days + putting some work as well when at home.
Tertiary Discipline: Exercise and lowering of gaze. + No PMO. + Lowering stress and insecurities (most of motivation comes from this).
___________​

Currently​

I started it when my father told me to do Research. And it is headache! And I am having less efficiency towards it, bringing me stress. Moreover, the night classes had also been interrupted since my mother passed away, so during the second half I'm struggling to survive there even. So, I don't wanna lose myself in this furball.

Stats​

Started from 2nd of November.
Today is day 7
Today i practised Secondary Discipline.
Without Sleeping routine, Home Work).

To-do:​

So, I can do recitation before sleeping, also brushing teeth.

Then, I must go to sleep on time and wake up on time. Hmm... but, I am not feeling like... shush!



sigh....

Those words...

Wishing you(myself) nothing but the best on your(my) mission.
 
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We should always try to practise calmness and relaxed state of mind -even if not going well with discipline.

Hmm... but, How to do that?

* Day 8 is at risk!
 
8/30
So, Day 8th of discipline passed.

I could practise just Primary Discipline.
With the bonus of No PMO but I couldn't lower the Gaze that much.

Daily the sun rises and light spreads. Day finishes afterall. I laugh around people and try to show my best self as much I can. But I'm not that much happy person. But I wish good to people obviously why not? "Kind words don't cost much. Yet they accomplish much."~[Blaise Pascal]. I pretend to be complete when outside. Only i know how much i miss my mother. Does it even matters how one heart out of 8 billion feels like. I think, this is a universal truth that only the heart knows itself well and not anyone else. In front of my eyes, ive seen my world getting dim. Not just abruptly but surprisingly, lost my "everything".
This has to be digested well, in an appropriate manner to become able to proceed on. That's how this world works.
At times, weight of heart is felt on eyes...
Why not at times a Man may accept it because, this is even true that this world is a place of sorrows and hardships. I learnt It, we couldn't perceive that the colour of this world was always dim and sorrowful untill people who were our support just left. This world feels so silent after some beloved ones leaves us. Everyday I go around and meet people I don't see the same world, I don't meet the same people. I don't see anything permanent but just the Ultimate Power!
 
Day 10/30
Secondary discipline
(Without Sleep discipline, morning classes).
Lowering of Gaze: This is very controversial to say.
With the benefit of No PMO.
 
Last time... I forgot to tell you that,
Yes, it is going to be hard!
...
But, not as hard as it was for our undisciplined self. It must not be...
 
Day: 13/30
​
After spending the whole day Today and beating the urges (or I think I should say آزمائش/trial; when temptations appear suddenly) I concluded that,
It is just like... "Medicines", Medicines are meant to be bitter -it’s their unpleasantness that (often) carries the cure.​
And that,
What is near to heart heals the heart! ​

Like, it is just a 13 days streak and mothing emotional or something. After beating the urges once it is now feeling OK.
nowadays, I sleep alone in a separate room, that gives me concern towards urges but...
i Have found a way to get rid of Mobile!
I shall give my mobile to my sibling, ​
to learn Duolingo on it.

Stats:​

Today, I practised Secondary Discipline.
(Without sleep discipline -I woke Up on time)
With the benefit of NoPMO
 
14/30
No discipline today.
It was an Awkward day. Last night there were severe urges. I tried to not relapse. I advanced towards the act but retrieved also, but despite all of that I still kind of... what to say? I saw such a dirty dream, credit goes to my sins, feuchter Traum. It feels so awkward so write all that! But, it was very dark night. I felt helplessness and struggled to not relapse. It was a dilemma situation.
So,
Woke up Late...
Felt down the whole day...

​

Mood/thoughts of a PMO addict:​

I find myself resisting the urge to lift my mood when I'm at my lowest. It feels like stepping back into the world's chaos would disturb the silence within my heart. Why break this calm? Why answer an unexpected call from someone I’m curious about? etc... Why embrace rare opportunities when they pull me away from this stillness? Maybe staying in this quiet space is what I'm comfortable in.

I remember when I was in primary school, in Class 1 and Class 2. I used to talk (a bit) to my female classmates, and one of them sat next to me. Instead of finding them attractive i even used to wait for when she'd stop talking. When she'd stop laughing at me - i used to be a confused and silent kid back then. (I think im still less talkative and more lost in thought when outside). ANYHOW, In a nutshell, back then, there was no feeling of unrest or affection, nothing that would cause the feelings I have now. And then, time passed, and I grew up. I hit puberty, such a difficult time. Things started to get more complex, and suddenly, emotions I never felt before began to appear. Till today, what started at the puberty is with me. I made it a nightmare for myself. So, hard to feel. So hard to resist. So hard to forget even.
I think, To whom i say all of that? There should be some listener. The should be some supportive n empathetic figure in life.
________
 
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