Do I have a porn addiction?

First off I believe porn is the enemy. I'm in no way saying your wrong or that I'm right but thats just my perspective. Now heres why I think you should quit porn. Its nothing to do with weather your an addict or not. Its about the effects. On the surface you probably seem fine.

But heres what it does it desensitizes you, you see things and they don't have as great an effect. See a few years back a girl kissed me on the cheek and I got turned on like for half an hour. Now I was tapering off pmo but recently I got a make out and a grind and it was only half of what it was then. People talk about being smaller down there but what it is is less blood flow because what your seeing isn't as extreme. For example has the porn you been watching has it changed? Gotten more extreme? Have you had to watch more to get the same effect?

[NSFW]See I started with strip porn than it escalated to sex, then to butt sex and than I guess more intense and more guy being dominant kind of thing and just more extreme I suppose and its weird because I hear the majority of our fetishes are made when we are like 5-9 so weird.[/NSFW]

So has anything like that happened to you? Have you wanted to cut down or have you gone to more extreme things.

 

Try 10 days without PMO and see if you feel any different.Also it might not be harmful now but in the long term.
What makes you think this forum has so many people fighting an addiction and that YOU are safe from it?
Years from now you would of wished that you stopped today.You will see.

 

That is in pretty poor taste. You think taunting P addicts with the fact that you are watching P is clever? Do you think it is a joke? Perhaps you think people with a problem are sad losers that deserve to be mocked. You have read all the stories here about how it has destroyed so many men and you are laughing because it hasn't destroyed you. You are better than porn. You are totally in control.

But let's look at the evidence you present about yourself and your relationship with porn

1. "Do I have a porn addiction?" - now why would you ask that question? Why would that question even exist in your head? That isn't a normal question people ask themselves. That is a question about a specific concern. It is a serious question. It is a question you only ask if you are frightened by something. What has frightened you, Barry? What brought you here?

2. "The one thing I I'm not quitting is porn. In fact I'm watching porn right now. I'm doing the challenge just to see how long I can hold out. I was only M and O about 3 to 4 times a week, but I watch porn everyday." - so, you watch porn without masturbating. Why? I mean, surely the point of watching porn is to give you fantasy for masturbating. If you are not masturbating what are you doing? Are you hard? Are you just letting yourself get hard and then switching off and carrying on? Why? Because you are bored? You will watch other people enjoy sex, but deny yourself any joy other than observing. What are you getting out of this?

3. "I don't feel I have an addiction because it doesn't control my life." - it doesn't make you do things against your will, right? You are in control. And yet you say that when you are bored this is what you go to, presumably if you have slightly less time to kill than watching something on Netflix. Every day. Every single day you use something well known for its addictive qualities as entertainment.

4. "I'ma recovering alcoholic and drug addict and I've been sober over 4 years....I don;t feel like it's the same way with porn." - I genuinely congratulate you for beating your drink and drug addiction. These physical addictions are insidious and destructive. But they are also substance abuse whilst porn addiction is well documented as a physiological addiction to dopamine. It is a completely different experience.

5. "First of all I don;t spend $$$ on porn anymore.... I have so many pictures and movies downloaded on my back up hard drive it will take me an eternity to watch it all" - you have been deeply immersed in the porn experience. Most people don't pay for it. Paying for it suggests a big commitment to it. You are, or were, willing to give away your hard earned money to be part of the experience. And you still hoard that experience. You are still heavily invested in it.

6. "I don't keep myself locked inside all day and watch porn like I've seen on TV shows" - Are we talking about reality TV shows or fictional shows? Just to get it straight - are you comparing your porn use with something that is made up as a test to see if you are addicted? You are right, there are some pretty sad stories on this site, but if you look at the truth of it, the majority are very normal people leading very normal lives. Some might feel sorry for themselves and seek pity for how low they have got, but on the whole the majority here are not a caricature conjured up by some 9pm drama show.

7. "I need advice. What is the definition of a porn addict?....PS I'm still watching porn as I type this" - again you ask the question and yet you miss the answer you provide yourself. An addict is someone who lives in denial about the harm they are doing to themselves. The question. The denial. The question. The denial. "I know there is something wrong with me." "I don't want to face the truth."

At a guess I would say you have been watching porn since you were 13 years old. Someone showed it to you and you were fascinated with it. You may have even watched it with friends. You certainly discussed it in the playground with friends. In fact it was a bit of a competition to find the "best" or should we way, the worst porn out there. You watched it every day because all your friends did. Hell, the whole school did. It was normal. It was what you did. It was just a bit of a joke.

But you were a cool kid - confident. You had other things going for you too. You could pull girls and had a girlfriend when ever you want. And you had all this sex knowledge too so having sex was no problem. Hell, you had the best sex education there is to offer - every porn film you could watch. And later you got a job, a proper one and with that came disposable income that you could legitimately spend on porn. That was exciting. And your second job wasn't so serious. The only way you could get any real fun out of it was to take the risk watching porn at work. Up until you realised that the risks you were taking might actually have some serious consequences and you had to rein it in.

And now you know that you watch porn every day. You do it for fun. Other stuff is boring. Despite living in a city, everything is boring. Marvel films and porn are the only thing that are worth doing when there is nothing else to do. And that has been the case for....10 years? Porn every day? It doesn't even excite you enough to masturbate to, but still you watch it. And recently, somewhere in the back of your head you are beginning to question why you do it. Because the only people who do this sort of thing are sad losers locked in their room all day and you know you have addictive tendencies so you want some reassurance.

I have probably got loads wrong - but that is how you are coming across to me. To me you sound like someone who has had a constant relationship with porn over many years and doesn't see why that is worrying because to you it is just very normal.

Many good people here have been through getting themselves clean and they all agree that unless you want to quit there is nothing here for you. You cannot quit without motivation. Which leaves 2 options. First, you educate yourself about porn addiction, what it is, how it starts, who it affects. A good start is this

The Great Porn Experiment: Gary Wilson at TEDxGlasgow

once you have educated yourself then you can see what might become of you, not tomorrow, but let's say 10 years time. And that realisation will bring you back here with the mission of quitting porn - porn, that is so worthless you just sit and stare at it. You realise that there is no point to it and you just get rid of it while it is easy.

Or you wait for 10 years. Wait until you are married, have kids, a better, more responsible job. And you are still watching porn. But now you have to sneak around to do it. Hide it from your wife. Hide it from your colleagues. Taking risks. 20 years of watching porn. For no reason at all other than to kill boredom. But after 20 years you are so bored with it that you are constantly searching porn for something better. Click, click, click.

 

never heard of that video before, thanks for sharing it was very helpful