Do I have social anxiety??

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Baduser, Sep 24, 2019.

  1. Baduser

    Baduser Fapstronaut

    Because I was bullied as a child I think I developed some kind of social anxiety.
    I started smoking pot when I was about 15 and smoked it for around 7 years.
    I stopped smoking because I had a panic attack and then stayed at home inside for 1 year, because I was affraid to go outside.

    Slowely I learned myself to handle this situation and went outside more and more. I took panic attack/depression medication and im still taking them until this day. (11 years later)

    When im in a situation where I meet new people I feel like the strange one, the outsider. I find it hard to say something to them because most of the time I dont know what to say to them. Im affraid they think im weird, im stupid, or not worthy of their time.

    I also have this kind of feeling sometimes when im visiting my parents or see a close friend. I feel like a stranger, im silent, dont speak loud enough and they have to ask what im saying.

    Another thing that maybe related to this is that im affraid of confrontation. I think this is coming from growing up with a father who did not respect me talking back to him. So whenever I now have to step up to people I rather just avoid the confrontation and choose for the easy way out by not saying anything or doing what they want.

    I really really want to change this and hope you guys can help me.
    GigglingTrout likes this.
  2. Mistersofty

    Mistersofty Fapstronaut

    Sounds like a tell tale sign of SA. I myself have been dealing with this for years. I personally believe that our relationships with parents, especially the father plays a major role. Changing this takes a lot of effort and persistence. This is why many of us continue to stay stuck in our comfort zones. I can totally relate to being afraid of confrontation. I tend to be somewhat of a pushover and I know how frustrating it can be. All I can tell you is that the only way out of this is through it. Discover yourself. Push yourself. Speak your mind even when you know someone will disagree. And learn to ask for things (major issue for me).
    Just out of curiosity what type of meds are you taking and are they at all helpful, if you don't mind my asking? Reason I ask is because I too have been having panic attacks which I believe were triggered by marijuana use. Best of luck to you friend! Oh, and another helpful tool is meetup. You can find people with similar interests which I think makes a hell of a difference in how you do in social situations. Best of luck friend!
  3. jarvyjarvison

    jarvyjarvison Fapstronaut

    Small talk goes a long way toward being social with strangers. Learning how to converse about meaningless things like the weather and sports and segue into more meaningful topics is a skill everyone should have.
    GigglingTrout likes this.
  4. Baduser

    Baduser Fapstronaut

    The medication is for panic attack and against depression. I dont know if they help cause im taking them for to long. I do know that without them im a different person.
  5. Grandalyn

    Grandalyn New Fapstronaut

    Hey, everything ok, almost everyone faced once with the same situation. Actually, me too. For the first, in a company don't think everyone evaluates you, just breathe, - deep breathing helps you calm down. And, also I found out
    Follow the 3-3-3 rule.
    Look around you and name three things you see. Then, name three sounds you hear. Finally, move three parts of your body -- your ankle, fingers, or arm. Whenever you feel your brain going 100 miles per hour, this mental trick can help center your mind, bringing you back to the present moment. Good luck!)
    GigglingTrout and Baduser like this.
  6. You fear being judged by others. This is a desire for control over the other person's thoughts you have, where you have none. You want to appear likeable to others so bad that the uncertainty is stressing you out.
    You do not have to be liked by others. In your own mind another person's thoughts cannot exist, so why even give them any attention? It's like trying to paint the sky or trying to fly without wings. You cannot control another person's thoughts or impression, but you can learn to control your own thoughts.

    Check this out..
    Baduser likes this.
  7. Baduser

    Baduser Fapstronaut

    Great reactions. Thanx alot
  8. Baduser

    Baduser Fapstronaut

    Im looking at the empty space in my bed and think if I dont change this is forever. I have to overcome my fear to become who i want to be. This no longer
  9. I personally think social anxiety occurs when we feel deep inside us that we are some kind of less of fulfilled person as compared to people around us.
    Few of my friends are highly accomplished in life. In very young age they drive expensive cars and have multiple women in life. In company of those I feel a little anxious.
    On the other hand few other friends are medium achievers, I feel comfortable with them.
    And with under accomplished one's I feel like a boss.
    I had social anxiety too.
    What helped me-
    1) earning some kind of money- sense of purpose in life.
    2) looking attractive- I am bodily handsome tall and lean muscles. But my face is not so beautiful. I compensated by doing exercises.
    I dress good now.

    Now I can't say I am totally cured from SA but can surely say it is mitigated to great extent.
  10. You may also want to check out Claire Weekes bro. Her technique in which you accept anxiety and let it happen to you instead of resisting it, possibly is the only way of truly getting rid of it forever.
  11. Baduser

    Baduser Fapstronaut

    This community is really great with the help you provide and how kind you are.

    @delhiboy im tall, and im working out alot to become attractive body wise.

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