Because I was bullied as a child I think I developed some kind of social anxiety. I started smoking pot when I was about 15 and smoked it for around 7 years. I stopped smoking because I had a panic attack and then stayed at home inside for 1 year, because I was affraid to go outside. Slowely I learned myself to handle this situation and went outside more and more. I took panic attack/depression medication and im still taking them until this day. (11 years later) When im in a situation where I meet new people I feel like the strange one, the outsider. I find it hard to say something to them because most of the time I dont know what to say to them. Im affraid they think im weird, im stupid, or not worthy of their time. I also have this kind of feeling sometimes when im visiting my parents or see a close friend. I feel like a stranger, im silent, dont speak loud enough and they have to ask what im saying. Another thing that maybe related to this is that im affraid of confrontation. I think this is coming from growing up with a father who did not respect me talking back to him. So whenever I now have to step up to people I rather just avoid the confrontation and choose for the easy way out by not saying anything or doing what they want. I really really want to change this and hope you guys can help me.