Do I have to be a dick for girls to like me?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by NF SINCE BIRTH, Feb 9, 2022.

  1. I dont know if she is still shit testing me or what it is but she seems to be making new plans without checking with me first. We were supposed to meet today. She told me she got the whole day free but when I asked her out she had a change of plans. Again.

    I called her out and she started arguing that I said this and that. She tried to find reasons to justify her behavior and referred to a two day old message where she asked us to meet today at 5 pm.

    That was for tomorrow but the second person involved caught covid so I already told her that tomorrow was cancelled.

    So she mixed up today and tomorrow and made plans, totally forgetting about the plans we made just a day or so ago. I know she got a memory like a gold fish but I have standards and I dont want her to be the reason I am wasting my time.

    So I told her I am going home after going out bowling with my other friend today.

    I know she feels bad about this and honestly she should. I dont like calling people out. The paradox here is that it made her beg for me to stay for just a few more hours so that we can meet.

    I mean do I have to be a dick for girls to like me?
    Z.e.n.o and +TenPercent like this.
  2. ImFuture

    ImFuture Fapstronaut

    With these kind of girls you gotta get an I don't give a fuck about you attitute my friend.
    You both had plans, she started looking for something else to do before checking to you. You don't tell her shit if she does not show up, then you still don't care.
    You don't even talk to her after she didn't show up.


    Let her be the one pulling now.
    You just back off.

    Find another girl in the meanwhile, it's the best thing you could do to back off in the 'pull-release' string game.

    Also, go do something funny, with your friends maybe, and put some pictures online where you know she will see them. She will be fuckin pissed off if she sees you've enjoyed more than she has. EASY WIN ;)
  3. Zapster21

    Zapster21 Fapstronaut

    You don't have to be a dick to girls :)

    You just have to let her do the work now. Don't text her until she reaches out to you.
    When she does, don't use a lot of time texting. Just set up a date and wait for the date.

    If she's interested enough she will reach out to you
    Z.e.n.o, onceaking and NF SINCE BIRTH like this.
  4. Well I think it will make you seem more independent. But if she wants to talk with you and chat definitely respond to her and care.

    I’ve known some “ass hats” in the past that have just treated woman rotten and they still are with them. It makes no sense..
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.

  5. I’ve read some research in the past and this method is somewhat good. The dopamine rush will belong to you in the process. Which will make her want you more. And the ride will keep going. Although hopefully not to above the normal limit.
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  6. You need to learn to see red flags.
    This is the 3rd (?) post where you share your red flags.

    You should have sticked with your first choice to see her within a couple of weeks. But in stead you immediately adjust yourself to hér wish.
    That's where you were showing you already are a dick.

    If a girl does not respect my boundaries, then I say goodbye to her.

    If I were you I should have told her I have no interest in her any more.
    Z.e.n.o and NF SINCE BIRTH like this.
  7. That's not a win.
    That's childish behavior.
    I would leave that out of my life if I would like to become a quality man.
    Legacy of Lost Soul likes this.
  8. ImFuture

    ImFuture Fapstronaut

    Still got these kind of women. Cheers.
  9. That should be no surprise.
    A porn addict is used to be enslaved.
    (S)he will attract partners who will put him/her in that same position.
  10. I think my posts have been about different girls actually. Maybe the last one was a rant about this girl. I dont remember. Anyways, she is not a good match. Pretty and charming but I would say immature.

    Its her way or the highway pretty much and that is a turn off. After meeting her today, I feel like maybe meeting her again. As a friend and nothing more. Attraction went to zero.

    If it is going to work out long term as a friendship, she has to compromise. It was cute maybe the first two times when the conversation went something like this:

    Me: Coffee or a cafe?

    Her: Hike up that super high mountain?

    Second date:

    Cafe, pub, somewhere chill?

    Her: Hike up that super high moutain again?

    Me: Nah, I want to just talk.

    Her: Hike??

    Yea, you get the story. After hiking with her three times I have had enough.

    I will suggest a completely different location a few weeks down the line. If she isnt willing then I guess I am out.
    Roady likes this.
  11. If it was just that one time, I wouldn't read too much into it. If she means any harm with it or not is impossible for me to decide.

    The only thing I know is that she doesn't show up and that it happened two days in a row. That tells me that she is unreliable. And I let her run over me a few times now. If I stand my ground and she wont budge, I cant do anything but walk away.
    WildEntheology and Roady like this.
  12. With all this said and done. I guess I am a recovering nice guy. Starting to set up boundaries is new to me. But today I realized that my standards are higher than this girl.

    I expect people to be reliable, show up roughly on time and to be willing to compromise.

    Thats some of my standards and she isnt ticking of any of them.
  13. Fatsodubmo

    Fatsodubmo Fapstronaut

    Honestly, it sadly is the truth with a lot of women. The "right" one you won't have to be a dick, but the crazy ones that you do need to be a dick with seem to be the most exciting lol. The game is fun as fuck. You just can't get emotionally attached to these types.
    NF SINCE BIRTH and +TenPercent like this.
  14. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

    So you had a giant fight - probably over text - because of her mixing up 2 days?
  15. Z.e.n.o

    Z.e.n.o Fapstronaut

    Big up.. she taught you self respect!!
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  16. I live in another city so it was sort of a big deal to travel that distance just to have her waste two out of tree days. She just wasted my time. I dont have any contact with her anymore. She was pretty and charming but got too little respect for me for my taste. It was though to let her go but she didnt treat me like a date. I even expect my friends to show up on time. If they always flake or show up half an hour too late, it doesnt give a good impression.
  17. I guess she did :) I am sort of happy I met her. She taught me some lessons. Even though it didnt work out. I guess I learned that pretty doesnt always equal keeper.
  18. This sounds true to me. She obviously liked me but something was up. I got emotionally invested early on. Big mistake. She had a crush on me maybe but she didnt see me as boyfriend material. In hinsight, I think she just wanted to keep me around as some sort of friend she could just run over. I dont think she was absolutely diabolic or anything but for her it must have made sense. She wanted to hang out later too but she seemed all over the place. Hot and cold, unable to make up her mind. So I have cut her off for a while now. Maybe not forever but until I can be with her without getting emotionally attached.
    Fatsodubmo likes this.

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