Do I participate in being a 'victim' because....

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by OSU32, Dec 11, 2015.

  1. OSU32

    OSU32 Guest

    it's what I know? For me, I am no more of a victim than I have the ability to jump across the moon. Many of us (if you're anything like me) have been walking around so long believing the bad information in our head, that we latch on to this 'victim' role because it gives us a excuse to not do anything about our life.

    WE all have our own stories, something that happened to us, difficult circumstances, or just the experience of walking around feeling bad all the time because of the lies our head uses to bang on us! Point is, when we take a position of 'I'm the victim', we might as well tie an anchor around our foot, because we aren't going anywhere! At some point, for me, I had to recognize how I was permitting my own problems. Now this is a painful realization - you're telling me that it's my fault that I feel how I feel, as if I don't beat up on myself enough already - let's just add this to this list of what I already blame myself for? Easy there E-OR (E-OR is that dood from Whinny the Pooh - he always walks around depressed!!). What I'm saying is IF we begin to acknowledge that there is a solution, and it starts with me changing my mind about who & what I am, I have a better shot at letting go of the victim role. If I look at my experience with a magnifying glass, I might see how I have enabled a victim mentality; Permitting others to stomp on me, withholding my input when someone is wrong, crawling into my feelings and isolating, holding others at arms length so I don't feel 'judged', searching obsessively online for information to make me feel better SO I DON'T HAVE TO GET UP & DO THE WORK, when I feel trapped I blame others for it, and lastly putting myself in victim situations by going around people that I don't actually like so I can feel like I have value if I get them to like me? All victim scenarios. Fear is the root of the victim role ( I call it a role because it's like an Actor who plays a role because he expects a payoff). Fear is an evil & corroding thread which shoots though our existence and convinces us we don't have a shot at getting what we want out of life. The only way to begin to face fear and this victim mentality is with courage & understanding. I'm not suggesting that you can quickly step over to a stove and whip up a batch of courage (if you could, you would have already). Courage is just having enough will to put one foot in front of the other and start to move into a different direction. Finally, most of us fall when we try and change. Dont get discouraged, it's part of the 'insight gaining' process. Each fall will hopefully produce wisdom. I will touch on this topic again in the future. In my experience, if you become who and what you want to be, and stop buying the lies in your head of who you think you are, Porn issues will walk away. Glad to be here, -M
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 11, 2015
    avatarivn likes this.
  2. Dogwood

    Dogwood Fapstronaut

  3. BigPete89

    BigPete89 Fapstronaut

  4. avatarivn

    avatarivn Fapstronaut

    This is a great post @OSU32. I completely agree that 'victim', like "porn comsumer", is like an easy path to follow because it takes the burden from us and is imposed on other people. Nobody likes being wrong, or admitting mistakes, but that is no reason to believe others have a responsibility for our well-being, or that others owe us something "just because". This world doesn't work like that.
    It took me almost 15 years to acknowledge that I am the one responsible from my Porn addiction. Now I owe myself another chance to live a fulfilling life.

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