Do not feel much inside my girl

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by bexx, May 6, 2018.

  1. bexx

    bexx Fapstronaut

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    Hello, I have a problem. During sex I feel not much inside the Vagina of my girl. I'm rebooting since 28. December and M maximal one time per week..however the problem that I feel not much inside my girl is persistent since the beginning. I pmoed for about ten years without lube and a hard grip :( fatal mistake now. But I was solo this time..now in the relationship everything bounces back on me. Most feeling comes when I put it completely in and completely out....

    Any motivational words for me? Any other readers had the same problem?

    Cheers bexx
     
  2. MovingFoward86

    MovingFoward86 Fapstronaut

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    @bexx Hang in there. I have had a similar problem. I did not even realize that intercourse was not feeling as intense as it should. It is most likely caused by the compulsive masturbation. In my case I doing M so much that I actually calloused my member much like a guitar played callouses the there finger tips. This plus the grip I used decreased my stimulation significantly. What I ended up doing was stopping M all together. It has been about 115 days since I last tried M and I am still finding an increase in pleasure during intercourse. The craziest thing is that the callous has started to fall off. My member has been peeling as if I had a sunburn. Its pretty gross and it scared the hell out of me until I confirmed what was happening. But that just goes to show you how damaging chronic M can be. I had no idea how bad it was until I stopped. I would recommend completely giving up M. I did a 90 day challenge and it was at about day 40 or so I started noticing that I was healing and feeling more sensation. The hope is that there is no permanent damage. I know its not easy but the simple answer could just be allowing your body time to heal. Good luck to you and feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions.
     
    pitme and Square79 like this.
  3. osmowife

    osmowife Fapstronaut

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    It gets better. My husband had this problem when we first started getting together. He would legit ask if it were in. He didn't quit or me ask him to quit porn for years later and it got better even without quitting pmo. Now that he's quit pmo it's even more better then before.
     
  4. bexx

    bexx Fapstronaut

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    Meahwile I'm pretty shure the problem is the long time M with my hard grip.

    Yesterday My girl wasnt at home and I masturbated and tried to masturbate with an easy grip but it wasnt working. I needed to put on the hard grip to get an Orgasmn. I really needed to squeeze my P to get an Orgasmn.

    In the beginning I thought it was the kink P but after the experiment I think the bigger factor is the hard (and dry) grip.
     
  5. bexx

    bexx Fapstronaut

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    I think trying to reach an orgamsn during sex is pretty normal. I think if I focus on Masturbating with a soft grip and gel and regularly getting an orgamn is helpful to feel more inside her.
    However You are right when you say I should stop to "need" and orgasmn and phrase it more soft like "I wish" or It would be nice but not necessary..

    By the way, how do you think shall one "Focus on fixing the brains need to get an orgasmn"?
     
  6. Numb

    Numb Fapstronaut

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    I think you'd have better luck if you quit masturbating all together.
     
  7. TheMightyQuinn

    TheMightyQuinn Fapstronaut

    My wife and I went to a relationship therapist a few times before we were married. We both had different angles and what we were dealing with but the solution was the same for both of us: Never focus on outcomes. Whatever happens, happens. Sex should be enjoyed for the experience.

    Sometimes, before we are physically intimate, we even say this to each other: no expectations.

    Forget about the O. Focus on how great it feels (spiritually, emotionally, etc) to be inside the woman you love. Focus on how good it feels to hold her in your arms and look into her eyes at the same time. Take notice of sound and smell as well. Engage all of your senses. The irony: Forget about the little man, focus on the entire experience, and you'll eventually have great O's without trying.

    Peace,
    -Quinn
     
  8. TheMightyQuinn

    TheMightyQuinn Fapstronaut

    Note: of all of the things I mentioned above, zero of them can be experienced with porn nor masturbation.

    Peace,
    -Quinn
     
  9. +TenPercent

    +TenPercent Fapstronaut

    Sadly, for the last few years of my PMO, I would have chosen masturbation over sex with a female. I thought I wanted sex with a female. I masturbated all the time fantasising about that (usually while looking at porn) but the truth is: I got so good with my own hand that nothing else really compared. I don't think that I ever really enjoyed receiving oral sex and with vaginal intercourse . . . well, the idea of it was nice, but I had a hard time staying hard (PIED).

    I have not had sex since I stopped mastubating but Wow! I have definitively noticed a LOT more sensation. It may take a long time, but my experience is simply this:

    If you stop masturbating (completely stop) you will regain sensation. Absolutely. Depending on how you masturbated, how frequently and how long, will determine how quickly or slowly that sensation will return, but it absolutely will. Sex is supposed to feel good. And it will. But you are going to have to give up the masturbation.
     
    hope4healing likes this.
  10. bexx

    bexx Fapstronaut

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    So after two weeks of no pfap and NoFap I have a problem..(did fap the last few weeks one time per week) first I feel super angry. About myself because I cannot solve it.. I just want to shut up and enjoy my relationship but I just cannot stop thar theory in my head that I don't love my girl. But I'm pretty shure it's just that the thrill and the strong kick I get from pmo and gambling which I also stopped is missed by my brain.
     

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