17 days, 408 hours of the rest of my life It was the same old story. I wanted to talk about emotions, about why we haven't had sex in 200 days. I was horny and grumpy because of it. I didn't want to say anything but addicted brain needed to out. I tried starting the conversation differently "Are we going to fight?" SO was surprised but it all went downhill immediately. SO became angry, clammed shut. I tried giving her space. This just means we have no contact at all, until she calms down, about 2 hours later. But if I want to continue the conversation I have a fight on my hands again. So this was in the morning. For the rest I worked hard. In the afternoon we took a walk and I tried to talk again. Asked what she wanted. She says, she fine with it as it is, she likes the quiet, doesn't want sex, or intimacy. Just walking together was already intimate she says. I told her feelings were ok and let it be. After a while I started talking about my feelings. How I do want intimacy, how I do no know if I can handle a relationship without. That it feel like she wants to be alone and does not want to make the decision to leave so just keeps pushing me away. She got angry, walked away, told me to walk home alone. Home I prepared dinner for two. She came home a few minutes after me. Dinner was quiet. Did Yoga again. Still had back problems, so asked and got a good back massage. Tried talking again. Asked her if she wanted a relationship, she said I do not know (the standard answer to almost any question I ask). I told her that was clear enough, if she wasn't commited now, after 16 years?! She walked away angry, and we got into bed without talking, no kiss holding hands anything. I treid once more, nope. At first I was upset, angry. I just let go and slept fine. I'm tired of being told that wanting intimacy is just lust, addiction that sex is not emotion. What am I going to do today? I do not know. I'll continue NoFap, no PMO of course, doing that for myself. I'll probably treat her the way she treats me; give her the silent treatment. It feel childish, immature but we cannot seem to talk and it works most of the time she comes to me, after a while.