Do these things make sense?

Does he see a therapist or go to SAA meetings or at least have an accountability partner?

I'm about 225 days in. I can say from my experience the urges and flashes and stuff came in brief flashes for me. I'd have a hard day because of something I saw on buzzfeed or a text from my poker buddies. So if she asked me on an easy day I could easily tell her honestly that that day I was good and things were going well. If she asked me on a bad day I'd have to honestly tell her that it was a harder day.

 

No one can really know for sure other than you, fam.
I would trust him if areas in his life are all better now, though.
For example: He cares more about you. He's more well grounded. He's been in a good mood most of the days.

Hope y'all be happy together.
Have hope and good luck

 

Yes

Yes

just support him. If he falls , don't blame him or he will lie in future.
Remember he needs support , no judgement , no untrust

 

Figure this out, or you are in or out. A relationship cannot work without trust.
Choose to trust him blindly and support him in his journey or don't and move on.
If you choose to trust, of course trust him but verify in a few months that he is still clean.

The idea is to avoid artificial stimulation and promote the real interaction.
If you are already kissing and touching each other.. let it be and see what happens. Man and woman have needs and fullfilling them together will make you bond even more. Will make him want the real things and help to erase the artificial one.

 

My husband swears he kept it separate. I'm still not so sure I believe it, but it does appear to never have changed throughout other disclosures that did change facts. He kept his use very tame compared to many on here, so maybe he was able to really keep it separate. He's very good at compartmentalizing everything else, so I hope for my sake that it is true.

 

I think the best you can do is try to get a full disclosure, get it all out. Then he has to work on building trust over time. Look into reading Worthy of Her Trust. If you aren't religious it does have a Christian tone, but it is still valuable even if you are not. The message still applies.

 

As harsh as it sounds almost all continue to lie. That’s why a full disclosure with a csat confirmed by a polygraph is the standard recommendation. Having gone that route, the polygraph helped me so much. I made it a boundary and the only think I regret is not having one done once a year. It helps keep them honest! Plus it helps assure me I’m really getting the truth and not just a watered down version, where he feels it’s enough truth to build trust but not all of the truth, which still keeps him in his addiction cycle. The group I’m in won’t even work with couples without a full disclosure and polygraph because they’ve learned that too many continue to lie. Honestly, the polygraph with disclosure is as much for them as it is for you.