If you're reading this you probably have been in this situation: you go to the club or a party where you don't know many people and there you are in a corner with a drink on your hand and the other one in your pocket looking at all the hot women afraid of going there and talking to them. If you have been there then you're just like me. But hear me out, you don't have to be like that. If you're shy and you want to use approach anxiety for your own benefit, you probably are paralyzed when you want to take cold approaches and it's logical. You're trying to run a marathon without training. So the solution is to train yourself, ease yourself into the pool instead of bomb diving. But how do you train yourself? Not only do you have to take a lot of approaches to get better at it but in order to take a lot of approaches in a better way your social game should be good. I have a cousin who is one of the most sociable guys I've ever seen, when he gets to a bar 1 of every 3 people know him and he gets with a lot of girls. This is what PUA coaches call Setup Game. Imagine this situation: there's 2 guys in the gym, one of them doesn't talk to anyone and stares at the hot women in the gym all the time, the other knows all the coaches, receptionists and the people who work out. It's kinda obvious that if a hot girl walks into the gym she'll be more open to talk to the guy that everybody knows. Let's go through the fundamentals of this logic: hot girls have been approached a thousand times and they have a defense mechanism which avoids the creeps. Now, just to be clear, this isn't a way for you to "manipulate" women because you have to get out of that mindset in which women don't have a choice and you're the one who decides over them and manipulate them. Think of this as a way to get into the batter's box which doesn't guarantee you'll get a home run, it just gives you the opportunity to do so. The thing is to break the defense mechanism which drives away the creeps, so they can make their choice. Ok, so how do you become that guy? Practice. Instead of taking a thousand cold approaches to girls you like, make approaches to groups of people. Hang out with the friends you have and then talk to the friends of your friends, go to parties, talk to people at school, your job, the gym, everywhere. This is a great advice I've been given: when you go to the club or a party you get there nervous because you're not loose yet to go talk and be confident, start the night the moment you leave your house, maybe talk to friends that are going there to, make a pre party for yourselves and then when you get there you're loose and able to do social game and then cold approaches. Now, I know what some of you guys are thinking and it's because I have thought of it. "I don't like a lot of people" and that's natural, not even the most social people like everyone. But that doesn't mean you can't do social game. What you have to do is just listen and find something you like from the people you don't like and just talk about it, you don't have to make everyone your friend, the other people may not like you either but you can coexist. Thinking you're the one who likes someone or not and everyone likes you, so you're the one who picks who you want to be friends with is a very selfish way of thinking and that's getting you nowhere. I mentioned earlier the "Setup Game", and I'm not getting too deep into that so I'm just going to tell the basics. Setup Game is a combination of cold approaches and social game. This is the deal: being great at social game will make cold approaches much easier, it won't take away the fear, but you'll be able to use it in a positive way. Last advice: many people think alcohol will make game easier. This is the thing: when you get drunk you may be a great guy and maybe you can even get laid (which doesn't happen as much as you think), but when you wake up the next morning you're going to realize something, you are the same shy guy and if you're only getting laid and being social only when you're drunk you become alcohol dependent. You know what we call people that depend on alcohol? Alcoholics. The effect alcohol has on you is that it gives you permission to be an idiot, you can do anything you want and people won't criticize you because you're drunk so it's justified. What you should do is get drunk without the alcohol, give permission to yourself to be an idiot without being drunk, be yourself and get that social pressure off. All of this methods to get better at game, don't do them while being drunk, get good at game being sober and then you can go out and have a drink without being that the thing you depend on for game. Same goes for any other substance.