Do women like...? (TRIGGER ALERT)

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Warning: What you're about to read may be a huge trigger for your habit. Please quit now. This post isn't significant enough to change your life. Go live an awesome life.
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Warning 2 : Don't kid yourself. If you're on your initial days of streak, you're highly likely to proceed to seek the "reward". Don't read further. Please.
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Okay.

The occurrence of scenes in pornography that promote dominance and brutality (against both genders, actually!) have been increasing and these ideas are actually infecting the whole pop culture (fashion, movies, tv shows, etc.) and it is actually getting pretty normal now. Like the term "Animalistic sex" for example.

This idea is actually disturbing FOR ME. Sex was supposed to be more than just physical needs. When you have sex with someone, you subconciously make a strong spiritual connection with them. (Oxytocin storms in your brain and literally forms a connection with your mate). Sex, for me, isn't something you "buy" with 4000 rupees in a street corner anytime you want. Without wandering away from the topic, I'll ask the question:

"DO WOMEN LIKE BEING CHOKED DURING SEX, OR. DO THEY WANT ANIMALISTIC SEX?"

By "Women" here, I mean REAL WOMEN, not pornstars. It'll be really helpful if femstronauts reply here.

Disclaimer: I'm not here to judge anyone. I'm not here to expose anyone. What I want is a little introspection that what we consider nowadays "normal" or "okay" may have reached us due to the (increased) prevalence of porn in the society.
Thank you for reading.
 
Let me ask you this.

Most of the time while these disgusting scenes are taking place its the male who does that disturbing things. (extreme) choking and Animalistic sex like you described it.

Think about this, you are also a male, do you also like to do that kind of things when you are making love?

I believe some people might get some kick from (slightly) choking or taking things rougly but not like that.
 
Happy you put up warnings its a good thing man, but you have to understand a majority of people here are men so it will be hard to find answers from women. But there are studies for these kind of things, google it if your curious. As I have stated other threads there are always people who like violent sex, a lot of people out there that do sex acts considered morally wrong.

But you have to realize by just using logic alone a majority of women do not like being chocked, neither do men.
 
There might be some women that are into that. For me it was a fantasy type thing that stemmed from porn addiction, I was "bored" of regular sex so I wanted something new and exciting. I'm glad I never followed through on my imagination because the thought of that happening is pretty disgusting to me now.

I'm not really sure who would want such a thing now that I'm in a better place, but I guess some people might be for whatever reason.
 
For me my neck is a place of a turn on so a hand around the neck with light to medium playful grip to me is enjoyable but anything more than that is scary. sex to me is supposed to be playful,loving, caring, and pleasuring. Now, a guy who leads is nice. A guy who is aggressive physically is not (i.e. forcing). Really when it comes to dominance and submission in sex i think it comes down to trust. For me my husband putting his hand gently to medium around my neck can turn me on because i trust him ans know if i needed to stop he would stop. If i was single ans having a random hookup the neck thing wouldnt be a turn on because there is no trust.

I am a wife of a PA btw.
 
AnonymousAnnaXOXO said:
For me my neck is a place of a turn on so a hand around the neck with light to medium playful grip to me is enjoyable but anything more than that is scary. sex to me is supposed to be playful,loving, caring, and pleasuring. Now, a guy who leads is nice. A guy who is aggressive physically is not (i.e. forcing). Really when it comes to dominance and submission in sex i think it comes down to trust. For me my husband putting his hand gently to medium around my neck can turn me on because i trust him ans know if i needed to stop he would stop. If i was single ans having a random hookup the neck thing wouldnt be a turn on because there is no trust.

I am a wife of a PA btw.
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To me that is beautiful! That's something I want to have with my fiancé, to be so trusting and open in that way, it's so amazing you and your husband have such a bond together. I'm jealous. :)
 
Sarah Walker said:
To me that is beautiful! That's something I want to have with my fiancé, to be so trusting and open in that way, it's so amazing you and your husband have such a bond together. I'm jealous. :)
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Aw thank you! it can take time to get there, and I still have my moments that come up from past traumas but the one thing my husband never lost was sexual trust that he would stop if i said stop.
 
AnonymousAnnaXOXO said:
Aw thank you! it can take time to get there, and I still have my moments that come up from past traumas but the one thing my husband never lost was sexual trust that he would stop if i said stop.
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To me that's true love, both partners respecting what each one says, and to have such deep trust in something as intimate and passionate as sex. Thanks for posting that, it's inspirational to someone like me.
 
It's a good thing for others to read and hear about in order to keep in mind that two people who love each other can practice this type of sex together. Communication and properly laid out boundaries are essential. I also think there should be some intimate holding/cuddling added at the end of this type of sex in order to ensure neither partner feels objectified/used.
 
I'e bbeen a practicing BDSM (on both ends) for almost two decades.
it's absolutely about communication.
And trust.
If you have neither, you should walk away.
Porn gets this all wrong.
If you have no communication you probably don't have trust... I'd probably put giant warning labels on it...
DON'T TRY AT HOME!!
but that's just me.
Oh, and I'm a SO.
 
A couple of possible triggers here. Please please please read at your own risk.
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I'm currently in a 24/7 type BDSM relationship. And there's a lot of things I've noticed. Porn is horrible at making people think certain things are "normal" when they are way more dangerous than porn makes it seem. Choking in particular is one of these things. Before being with my current partner, I loved that idea. I even thought I knew all of the safe ways to do it, based on what I had researched/read online. I thought I knew how to be a good BDSM partner, but I was so wrong.
In actuality, there is NO safe way to do this particular thing. That being said, there are SAFER ways to do it. But in every single instance, you are reducing blood flow to the brain, even if you aren't restricting air. This is incredibly dangerous because you do not know if your partner has some kind of blood/heart/brain issue that you could be triggering. And since this isn't something the person getting choked can gauge, they usually don't realize something is wrong until it's too late. I remember reading a post on reddit a few months back about a girl who did things like this all the time, regularly, and one time, nothing was different at all, she had a stroke. And now she's permanently disabled, though lucky to be alive.

What I believe some women like is the dominant aspect of a man taking control, but also being someone they can trust. The biggest issue I have with choking (keep in mind, I thought it was a HUGE turn on before I did this research and understood it all better) is that porn has made it SO NORMAL. I'm saying this because there have been people JUST getting into BDSM who are looking for advice, and will say things like "I do pretty vanilla stuff, spanking, slapping, choking, ect". I have seen this COUNTLESS times. The truth is, this is SERIOUS kink stuff. It is not BASIC. But porn has made it appear to be basic. Keep in mind, these are people who are taking the time to educate themselves for better/safer play. But...it's just seen as so normal...it's a huge issue. Abuse is becoming synonymous with "rough" which is synonymous with violent...it's a horrible cycle, it perpetuates too much violence in sex.

I'm all for kink...do what you want if you want it. But we need to be sure we are not being influenced by someone profiting off our addictions. The increase and escalation in porn leads certain things among porn users to be expected.

Ugh, I think I may have triggered myself slightly from typing all of that. I'm going to go cuddle up with my partner and tell her how much I love her. I hate what this industry has done to us. I hate how young men are because of it...I hate the media, I hate sex being sold...I just want this world to be a good and happy place for everyone.
 
My point is that this is in general a enormous perversion. When I did pmo edging I liked watching this with deeper getting into your craving, as you crave for more and more stimulus to get the same domanin rush. I don’t anymore. As I distance and look back at the scenes I find them truly disgusting and sick and extremely disrespectful towards women.

It’s a different story if anything of this is done in context of true care tenderness and part of the play. But in most cases and scenes it’s not at all like this. And rather the expression of hidden sick motives. I understand women having trauma of abuse in their past and this desire coming out this way of wanting to be submissive. In this context again I believe with a loving partner it could be healing if the theme can be worked out. And if it serves this purpose great. Otherwise I believe and I know from myself that having sex with a clean mind is exciting and satisfying and making each one happy beyond measure.
 
Yes some girls like “choking” but it’s more about the presence of the hand there. Maybe some light pressure. It requires a HUGE amount of trust and proper hand placement. Like @Kenzi eyas, a lot of upfront communication needed and I always did it upon request.

Will say there is something incredibly sexy, unbridled and strangely connective about it.
 
DemonSemen said:
there is something incredibly sexy, unbridled and strangely connective about it.
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My whole point of posting this thread was this: "Are we evolutionarily designed to find it sexy? Or we find it sexy because of overexposing our dopamine-addict brains to such superstimuli?
Would you have found it arousing, even if, say, you were born in a planet where there's zero pornography..?"

Obviously there's no way to find out.

Here's what happened to me:

Some 7 years ago (when I started watching porn) I would get aroused by softcore porn. Lingerie models would be my limit and anything beyond that would disgust me! My classmates would take about how much they loved hardcore porn genres like anal, oral, deepthroats etc. I remember once in the computer lab, one of my friend opened a deepthroat porn and I almost threw up!

Fastforward to this year, the only thing that arouses me is weird dominance and submission stuff! Such stuff has not only made me a worse person by maybe subconsciously expecting all this from my future wife but also by changing the perception of what "sexy" means...

I hope this changes. I hope I be a better person and I'll keep improving myself so that my future wife gets the man she deserves.

Anyways thanks for your responses guys. Hope you all have an awesome day ahead.
 
The progression to more hardcore and extreme acts in pornography definitely has effected peoples expectation and desires during sex. Like you said, hardcore stuff used to revolt you now it's the only thing you can enjoy. That isn't a natural progression of desires, that's the influence of pornography.

So I would say no, we are not evolutionarily designed to find violence sexy, that's just the idea we were sold by the porn industry. And most women do not find being abused sexy, that is another lie sold to you by the porn industry.
 
I've no personal experience in this regard but based on what I've read, the whole point of choking and even BDSM being pleasurable is because it's all about trust. When you let someone grab you by the neck, tie you up or put you in a venerable position, you're basically handing your life into their hands. One mistake or any malicious intent and you're dead. Or at the very least, seriously injured.
It's the same concept as a trust fall. You're showing how much you trust someone. And that does foster love and affection. However, like many people have already said, it is only pleasurable if done by someone you're very comfortable with.
Knowing you can trust someone with your life, gives you a natural high. It's not strictly sexual in that sense.
 
I would find it perverted, sick and maybe enjoyable. I've often fantasised about choking the woman who sexually abused me, but not in the context of intimacy.

Strange question, what prompted you to ask?
 
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