Tbh It is somewhat of a rollercoaster journey, a lot of ups and down. I get upset with myself when I relapse because I usually always go back to that heavy edging binging behaviour, which I feel just shows that I am a true addict, and it makes me think I haven't recovered all that much. Then sometimes the PIED can be bad, but then other times I don't feel like I have much issues in that department. But I must admit, there is a lot of positives. I am much better compared to what I used to be. I made this post just after a few days of heavy relapsing, edging and binging. I am actually feeling much better now. Yesterday and today I have been getting really good spontaneous erections. Waking up with morning wood, randomly getting a boner, slightly touching my dick and its been going fully erect. I haven't been masturbating the last two days, and of course I haven't been looking at porn or artificial sexual stimulation the last two days. Naturally I am very happy with the way my dick has been working the last two days. But what concerns me is maybe it isn't working this good because I am actually healing? But maybe it is actually only working this good because I am actually in somewhat of a chaser effect after that PMO binge I ended up in a few days ago? If it is the latter then this is naturally very disappointing. Like is it going to be a case of the longer I am actually clean from PMO the worse my dick is actually going to work? It's definitely not very motivating and quite depressing if this is the case. But from what I have experienced on this journey that wouldn't surprise me. Something I was thinking though is if a guy has no sexual outlet for a long period of time, then is it any wonder their dick isn't working good? Like I have actually read about guys that have had very long streaks where they have actually had to, or been recommend to engage in some sort of sexual activity to jumpstart their sex drive. Obviously with no porn or artificial sexual stimulation. But with masturbating etc, and of course getting with a real woman. What this would indicate to me is that old saying use it or lose it could be somewhat true. If guys on very long streaks with no sexual outlet just remain having dead dick, and no sexual urges what so ever. PS if any guys actually want to have long term dead dick and no sexual urges then I have to admit this isn't something I would want at all. I couldn't think of anything worse.