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Do you ever wonder why?(For people with fantasizing problems) (May have triggers)

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by sfmark12, Aug 1, 2018.

  1. I want to be able to write this down while it is fresh in my head before I head into work.
    For the people struggling with fantasizing on their reboot I ask you, why does your brain give you these unrealistic, sexual, disturbing thoughts?
    So today I went to the gym and I said hello to the lady that works there(she looks like she is in her 40's) and immediately I am bombarded with sexual thoughts about fucking her, and I'm just like why? I don't even know her nor have interest. And I get bombarded with thoughts like these Everytime I see a woman who is attractive to me. In my reboot I've eliminated porn and masturbation. I am confident enough to say that. But these sexual fantays are too wild and I cannot believe years of indulging in pornography can do this. And it's not even just sexual thoughts, I even fantasize about being in relationships with girls. The problem with that is I always imagine what being in a romantic relationship and usually that never is the case.
    I know it seems a bunch of rambling but the point I'm trying to come across is why? Why do these inhumane thoughts come into my head that I could never even imagine thinking? Will it these thoughts take a while to die down even after a full reboot? I just want to discuss, and I apologise in advance if this is the wrong spot for this thread. It just seems like problematic sexual behavior.
     
  2. I’m struggling with the same thing. It seems like the longer my journey goes in nofap the stronger these thoughts become. It’s most likely the brains last ditch effort to get what it wants...but I don’t know.
     
  3. I'm pretty much in your same position as well, more I go without it the more hornier I get and the more sexual thoughts that come in. Right now my tactic is to not give thoughts attention and it works. But it's still hard because, sad to say, they feel good when you give it attention it's pretty much like a dopamine surge.
     
  4. Yeah I’m still working on ignoring the thoughts. I become a obsessed beast when I see a hot woman in public. My therapist recently told me that he got over it by telling himself “I know for a fact that I will never fuck her! So why waste time staring and thinking about her?!” I’ve been trying to apply that while I’m out now and it seems to work so far.
     
  5. Interesting, I'll try it out.
     
  6. Hopefully you will get to the point where you notice but it doesn't hold your thoughts. Try not to stare and look up higher.
     
  7. I'm glad you guys are posting and I hope more come, because the more we talk the less powerful it becomes.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. MyWaytogo

    MyWaytogo Fapstronaut

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    Dopamine is already released when your mind expects to do the things that you like. So by fantasizing about the girls you meet, you’re kinda being tricked by your own mind in order to receive that addictive chemical. I gues that you can prevent this by focussing on current time and being realistic about the people you meet. Trick your mind back!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. Jason_Tesla_19

    Jason_Tesla_19 Fapstronaut

    I have some issues with fantasy, and I've just started really being attracted to real women at this point in my reboot. I don't think it's helpful to consider these thoughts as inhumane or "not you", but to just acknowledge you're attracted to a woman you see, and look away. I think it might be that we get in touch with our real libidos the further along in our reboot we get. Our brain is trying to drive us to mate with real women, and not pixels, so it is a sign of progress!
     
  10. I agree...it’s definitely better than what I’ve been doing the past 20+ years.
     
    MyWaytogo likes this.
  11. I totally understand, but the fact about fucking everything with a pair of breasts and cheeks sounds bizarre.
     
    Tankus likes this.
  12. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    Porn trains your mind to dehumanize others and view them as sexual objects. You dont see a woman and think "oh wow shes nice!" You think "what would she look like naked? Id love to blank blank her" etc etc. I had this problem...
     
  13. Rufioh

    Rufioh New Fapstronaut

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    I'm rebooting today myself. I've gone 7 days with out slips before, want to go a full month. That sexual thoughts are hard to shake, but as soon as I catch myself difting I hurry and rebuke the thoughts. It's a all day thing at this point but it's getting easier. But sometimes yeah, the most evil and repulsive thoughts wants you to entertain them. We have to fight them
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  14. My theory is (mind you im only 15 and female) that the brain has gotten so used to all the things you see in pornos that it doesnt know how to just have and enjoy..... lets say vanilla sex, or simple acts of pleasure. its like an alcoholic, the more they drink, the more it takes to get them a buzz.
    I think your brain wants to revert back to the pathways it has known for such a long time that when you see a woman you cant even think about going on a date with her, or kissing her, it goes right to the sex part because your brain knows it will give you the better buzz quicker and faster than taking the time to know the person, date them, and finally build up to sex.
    sorry if this is a bit off topic
     
  15. Maybe I'm not as far along in my recovery from porn addiction, but I don't think it's necessarily wrong (for me at least) to fantasize about real women. Maybe that's my porn brain speaking though. A lifetime of porn has led me to get off to images of women, and not the real thing. Now I have to rely on the real thing. Doesn't mean I have to act on it in any way. We'll see if fantasizing about real women leads me back to porn use. If so, then it would be a problem I think. Otherwise fantasizing about real women is a motivator to get out and meet them and develop something real with them. Maybe this will sound silly in a month or two, or maybe I'm on to something. I also realize everyone here is different with the things they have to watch out for, so if fantasizing about women is a problem for you, then don't do it!
     
    sfmark12 and Deleted Account like this.
  16. Such Small Hands

    Such Small Hands Fapstronaut

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    Nothing wrong with some fantasizing - don't hold your imagination so captive, even if there's a romantic theme to it. With the unstoppable sex thoughts, that's an unfortunate byproduct of our addiction. I haven't solved this problem, yet, mind you. I've always been somewhat of a starer, and my mind wanders to ridiculous places at even the slightest appearance of a pretty face + good body. But I think if you catch yourself doing it more, and actively reign in the impulse when it happens and remove yourself or your thoughts to a different place/topic, then I think improvement will show. Just hang in there!
     
    Moralesgj17 likes this.
  17. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    Nothing is wrong with imagining things but the problem is that most men (including myself) dont imagine things in a healthy way. Even as a teenage porn addict id see a cute girl and among my friends we would talk about our fantasies involving the "cute girl" while staring at her like a bunch of hyenas lol "shes so hot i wanna blah blah" thats not healthy behavior, its borderline rapey. Healthy imagination is "shes gorgeous i can see myself being with her, shes charming". Porn trains our minds to sexualize strangers without even knowing them. Talk about enforcing an actual rape culture lol yet feminists think porn is liberating women lmfao
     
    Butterfly1988 likes this.
  18. I would agree with you on this. I would say it isn't bad but it's still creating a false image in our heads, would rather focus on reality.
     
    Digger likes this.
  19. As of right now I'm trying to nap a bit for my night shift today at work and it's so hard to sleep with all these sexual thoughts of fucking my coworkers. Been tossing and turning for a while now. I really wish this could go away fast.
     
  20. Well I think since the more we abstain from PMO the brain wants another fix. Say no to any of that artificial shit.
     

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