Do you guys know people who watch porn and are normal?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by koolman, Sep 26, 2021.

  1. koolman

    koolman Fapstronaut

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    My question is does anyone here know people that watch porn and are not effected by this addiction? I.e they don't have pied and other things. And they watch porn and are perfectly fine?
    If yes how are they fine? And do you guys see porn as the real problem?
     
    Christoph108 likes this.
  2. Randombro

    Randombro Fapstronaut

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    Everybody is different. Some one can drink alcohol without doing dumb things and another one will get aggressive. Some guys do gambling and then never again, some are instantly addicted. The same with porn. But in comparison to another addiction porn can change your brain chemistry over time what causes PIED, several escalations etc. Every brain is different. Some are more and some are less plastic
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2021
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  3. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    As far as I am aware most guys with high speed internet access watch porn.

    All of my friends watch it. Most of my friends are in relationships with decent jobs.

    But there is a big difference between me and my friends. I don't think any of my friends are edger's or bingers. I remember I told a few of my friends about the way I edged and binged on PMO, taking 5 hours to ejaculate, and they couldn't believe what they were hearing.

    Again they do sometimes jack off to porn, but it's probably a now and again thing, with little to no edging or binging.
     
  4. koolman

    koolman Fapstronaut

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    Ya I've been thinking the problems we have are due to us overdoing it.

    I guess we are similar to people who gamble too much or alcoholics, in moderation many people generally speaking can get along normally but too much turns into a problem and thats what we have done.

    Thanks for the response.
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2021
  5. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Yeah that's exactly it.
     
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  6. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    I think I'm what you would consider "perfectly fine", I have no physical problems caused by porn, no PIED etc. I've had a hard-on every morning for as long I can remember for instance, would have no problem having sex and never escalated.

    I think the difference between people who suffer from PIED etc. and other men who don't is the rate at which they watch porn, and as pointed in a comment above those who edge and those who don't. I generally would watch porn twice a week or so, searching for the perfect video for somewhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours and then would only do the active part of masturbating for 10/15 minutes or so. I think those who have serious issues are those who masturbate almost daily and also who edge, they are also the guys who escalate I assume.

    Although you mention addiction, I never escalated but would still consider myself an addict, as I would consider most men: there are negative mental consequences to me using PMO and yet an inability to stop doing it even if I wanted to.
    Yes, I don't think masturbation in itself would ever cause any issue, it's the super-stimulus you get from porn and its endless novelty that are addictive.

    I don't think moderation will work once you have been an addict, you have to cut it all out, don't try to rationalize the fact that you don't want to let go of porn. Porn has no value in anyone's life. Be willing to ditch it completely.
     
  7. E31

    E31 Fapstronaut

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    A lot, yes!

    Some of them could probably benefit if they wouldn't do it but they are already succesful and confident in their own life so its better they continue to leave some room for us :D
     
  8. In my opinion, the question is: could they walk away from it any time they want to and stay clean? I think that the longer someone uses porn the greater the chance that they will become an addict. I would consider myself to have been a "casual" user for probably 5 years before it began to sink it's teeth in and become an addiction. I didn't even know what happened until it was too late.
     
    koolman likes this.
  9. The seeker

    The seeker Fapstronaut

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    If you don't have an addictive personality than I don't think porn will give you any serious problems. If for example you could just watch and fap over porn just two or three times a week you should be fine. If however you have an addictive personality like I and I suspect a lot of members of this forum have, you can't do that. In my case I end up fapping much as 3-5 times a day for hours at a time. So therefore I have to avoid it as it seems to alter my mind and body chemistry.
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2021
  10. Nabson

    Nabson Fapstronaut

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    Tout est relatif c'est comme une personne qui boit un verre de vin pendentif le repas cela ne le nuiera pas
    Et une personne qui boit 10 ou 20 bouteilles par soirce dernier risque de gâcher sa vie
     
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  11. WildEntheology

    WildEntheology Fapstronaut

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    Firstly, just because some cannot walk away from a certain behaviour, doesn't mean it's causing them harm. There are many things we can do without and yet because there is no reason for us to do without we don't think twice about it. For example, if you're healthy most of the time, you can eat some junk food every once in a while without any major consequences. You don't need junk food, but if you like it then go for it. Even if you find it difficult to not eat junk food every once in a while that doesn't mean you should go to great lengths to teach yourself how to go without junk food every once in a while. This is especially true if you accrue opportunity costs by focusing on removing the junk food when you could be doing something that provides a far greater benefit.

    Secondly, no matter what you do, there will always be sacrifices. When we talk about "healthy habits" what we mean is that these habits are such that the benefits outweigh the negatives. For example, even something like meditation has its negatives. I think everyone should be meditating at least 30 minutes per day, but 60 minutes is really the better option. Beyond the emotional pain you will have to endure with such a serious meditation practice, you are also making a commitment to sacrifice an hour every single day to this one practice. That is time in your life you are sacrificing and if you are really serious about the greatest benefits that come from meditation then you will do what you must to make sure you do it every single day. Although there are negatives, we agree that the benefits are such that it makes it worth it. The same is true with working out which puts at risk of injury.

    So when we apply that to something like pornography, we have to question whether it's causing someone harm before we can say whether they should attempt to walk away. If they cannot walk away very easily and yet the pornography isn't causing them enough harm to decrease the quality of their life, then perhaps there is no need to quit pornography. That is up to everyone to decide for themselves and we cannot use the trauma we've experienced from pornography as an absolutistic hammer to bludgeon everyone else with. Our experiences are our own and we have to realize that there are people who have not had the same experiences.

    However I think we also need to accept that everything we take in is propaganda in the sense that everything we take in is influencing in some way. We often only consider the things we disagree with to be propaganda because we like to think of ourselves as isolated islands that couldn't be influenced like all those delusional people over there. The fact of the matter is that we are not isolated islands and we are absolutely subject to the influence of all the things that exist in our environment, even if we are not directly conscious of these things.

    When it comes to pornography we have to be very conscious about how this is shaping how we see ourselves, the environment (which includes the people in it), and our relationship with the environment. Most people who engage with porn are not doing this. The simple fact is that porn is here to stay, barring extreme totalitarianism, and so we need to do more to prepare people to deal with this new reality. We need to update the maps we use in order to successfully navigate this new sexual landscape. Our society has failed abysmally at this.

    One of the things we can do is to make sure that the porn industry is healed. As it currently stands the industry is absolutely toxic and unhealthy. However, we cannot conflate the toxicity of the industry with the toxicity of the product of the industry. In other words, the product may only be toxic insofar as it is created by a toxic industry. I won't go into the details of what we can do to heal the industry, but regulation to ensure that all parties are respected, consenting, and given adequate compensation and recompense for their efforts is the least we can do. Treating the porn industry like we would any other industry is absolutely necessary. Due to the sexual nature of it we have turned a blind eye so that we don't have to deal with our own sexual shame.

    At the end of the day, we here at NoFap are recovering addicts. Due to the traumas we've experienced before, during, and after our addictive use of pornography we are in a situation where we have to remove ourselves from pornography. Just because that is true for us, does not mean that is true for everyone who uses pornography, especially if the pornography in question has been created in as ethically a way as possible.
     
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  12. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    Seeing 90% plus of men over the age of 15 look at porn - and the vast majority of people are "normal" (that's what makes it normal" then the answer is everyone does.

    I have plenty of friends that look at porn but are able to consume it in a non-compulsive way. They're able to hold relationships, have friends, be social, make smart decisioons, etc. I learned I couldn't regulate myself, hence it being all or nothing and me choosing nothing.
     
  13. Giacomo Leopardi

    Giacomo Leopardi Fapstronaut

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    I knew @skaterdrew would be here dispensing his wisdom. This is an important topic he frequently expounds upon.

    Hope you are well, mate!
     
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  14. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    One of the reasons porn addiction and abuse is really hard to study is because pretty much every man in Western countries watches porn regularly. ED and relationship satisfaction are definitely increasing, and overuse of porn in young men is definitely a culprit. I know that NoFap is kind of an echo chamber, and even though all of us share similar issues and solutions, the large majority of the population still seems unaware. Despite this, the large amount of women that have confided in me the ED their very young partners experience is enough to signal to me PIED and porn abuse is a growing problem.

    However, the fact that people are still getting pregnant, having sex all the time, and living life while porn use remains far above 75% is telling that even though it's unhealthy, it doesn't affect everyone majorly. Just like alcohol, which is literally poison and causes physical damage to the body, most people can still use and have negligible effects.

    No one is perfectly fine from using porn, alcohol, or other substances. They all have a cost. However, they also have a benefit. For guys like us that are very addicted to porn, the costs of PIED, compulsive behavior, and waste of time/resources far outweigh the benefits, which often is just a few minutes of pleasure (often just a waste of time as well). However, for many people, the benefits of their porn use largely outweigh the costs, so they continue to use! Porn can help someone learn how to have sex, find new ways to please their partner, or just have some personal time. People say porn is like the Fast and Furious movies. If you're trying to learn about (sex/driving) or get the thrill of (really arousing sex/crazy driving) by constantly watching (porn/Fast and Furious movies), you're likely wasting a lot of time, a lot of money, and missing out on doing those things in real life (which would feel much better). HOWEVER, if you watch porn with the same frequency the average person watches a Fast and Furious movie, like 1-2 nights a year, you're probably ok. In fact, it'll probably be pretty fun!

    Some people just don't get addicted to porn, no matter how much they choose to watch. Most people who watch porn have signs of dopamine irregularities or more than average levels (attention disorders, depression, history of impulsive behavior). Whether the dopamine irregularities leads to porn addiction or is caused by it is still up for debate. Although I do envy the people who did not fall into the same addiction as me, I also see the signs of low motivation and productivity in them. My excess dopamine may make me more liable for addiction, but it also makes me a harder worker, focus more in intense situations, and pursue my goals much more enthusiastically. If you find yourself majorly hooked on porn, take note of the fact that if you are able to reboot correctly, rewire with normal relationships, and then turn your attention to other areas of your life (with all that extra dopamine in your brain), you are gonna find yourself much more eager, energetic, and successful than your peers.

    It's true that others can use porn and not fall into addiction, but don't loathe them. They are different people and will have different challenges in your life. Overcome your challenges, and use that wellspring of energy inside you to make your life and the lives of those around you better. You may be different from everyone else, but that makes you special. That makes you rare. That makes you valuable. Use that specialness you have inside yourself to change your life and live it to the fullest
     
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  15. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man you to.
     
  16. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    Hello,

    I disagree, something that stems from decaying of the mind cannot possibly be made healthy nor ethical, ever. Sure you may say: "Well if this is soft porn and both parties are respected and well paid, with their own consent" etc. You can improve it, make it better, fairer, saner, etc. It still doesn't matter, fact is, it all stems from disorder in the mind. Its very existence is based on that and therefore it can't be healthy nor ethical. Having people interested enough in this that they are willing to watch other people having sex while being filmed cannot be. A metaphor might be better: if the tree stems from sick roots, no amount of caring for the branches and the leaves is going to heal the tree. The problem is in fact the mind and not the porn, but porn comes from that mind.

    I get your point though, it's not going anywhere therefore we should adapt, which is a very practical and reasonable approach. But again, I think we shouldn't just accept things as they are or put up with it, that doesn't make me delusional, it's the work of each and everyone of us no matter what the subject is, climate change, peace, etc. We all have to do the work, we all have to revolt, not in a superficial way and tell other people what to do but to do it ourselves first.

    Kind regards.
     
  17. WildEntheology

    WildEntheology Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure if I fully understand what you mean when you say, "something that stems from decaying of the mind cannot possibly be made healthy nor ethical, ever."

    Could you please elaborate on that?
     
  18. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    Porn is here for the wrong reasons in the first place, and therefore can't be healthy.

    But I am aware that deleting porn won't solve our issue though, the issue is the mind and not understanding it.
     
  19. WildEntheology

    WildEntheology Fapstronaut

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    Okay so if I'm understanding you right, you believe that porn is inherently unhealthy? Why do you believe that?
     
  20. Furozima10

    Furozima10 Fapstronaut

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    Nobody who watch porn is normal.

    Anyone who claims watching porn and that you find normal is Lying.

    Don't trust people, because they never tell the truth.

    Only trust what you see from your own eyes
     
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